Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 182

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Is that you, or a thin version of what I hope you would be?

9. It's howling like a wolf at the vet's.

8. Stacey wouldn't like a set of hair straighteners as her main present.

7. If it explodes, there's going to be presents all over the bodies.

6. Who cares who carves it? Is it going to make him less of a man if M&S have pre-sliced it?

5. The bell will toll for not just thee, but the entire rotten bunch of you, give me it back!

4. Preparing for some Christmas sharin', or words to that seasonal effect.

3. They stop after 8 o'clock, considering the last one's at 4.25pm, it makes very little difference.

2. His reply was as expected, moany, lacking in any interest or respect and via a memo.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Remember me? I used to run around after you before I realised what a cow you were?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 181

There's more excitement on the top deck.

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a buffet, there'll be paper plates I'm sure.

9. Sounds like lift music to me, not that I've ever been in one.

8. Much like the elastic in your pants, it's failing all over.

7. Hold on, my hands are full.

6. Check and see whether he's home yet, if not, we'll go to my mother's.

5. You've got to be joking me?

4. He seemed frightfully surprised, throughout the evening, that I could, and was, dancing.

3. Take your hat off, this is not a film noir.

2. I see that you bought shiny wrapping paper, rather devil-may-care for you?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's doubtful it'll be busy, besides, who shops in their, apart from mercinaries and your family?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Enterprising New Year Bus Price Cuts!

With buses still running through the snow today, this news of a price cut (yes, CUT!) by Stagecoach in Swindon and Thamesdown Transport seems terribly appropriate.

The 7-day TravelPassPlus (allowing unlimited bus travel on both companies buses within Swindon and out to Wootton Bassett, Cricklade, Highworth, Foxhill and a host of other places) is being slashed to £10 between the 9th January and the 5th February.

This is great news for those who commute from places outside the town and passengers within Swindon. The usual price for a 7-day TravelPass in the Swindon area is £13 and for those in the 7-day TravelPassPlus area is £15.

Swindon Centric Says ; Well done Stagecoach and Thamesdown, get saving those pounds in the New Year!

Wi-Fail : Councillor Contradicts Roll-Out Plan By Digital City

A 'where-aren't-we-now' story this week by the Swindon Advertiser's Charley Morgan did well to keep the public's attention on the collapsing council-backed project.

One comment by everyone's favourite 'Your councillor on the wi-fi company's board', Garry Perkins is very telling.

The quote is, "And we hope a large part of the town will be completed by this time next year."

When Rikki Hunt (CEO of Digital City, the company meant to be doing the work) appeared on Graham Mack's Swindon Breakfast Show on BBC Wiltshire at the start of October, this exchange occurred...

Graham Mack : "So it'll be finished this time next year?"

Rikki Hunt : "Yeah".

Swindon Centric Says : Who's right? Who's wrong? Who knows?!!!!

PS - If you're having a Christmas Party this weekend, Swindon Centric wishes you a great time, and hopes you can leave work worries at the door.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 180

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She was a force of nature.

9. It's down Fleet Street, no, the really grotty bit.

8. I've now become 17% more productive since getting divorced.

7. How many people did that and got away with it though.

6. Salmon, chicken or pasta, you have 10 seconds to decided.

5. At home last time I checked, among the mass of memories in the garage.

4. I couldn't stop laughing, then realised he was just getting warmed up.

3. Four layers, I am the Layer King!

2. There's a thaw coming, hold onto your frozen bits.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I predicted a riot and look what happened, hope they know a good glazier.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Week ; 179

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Trickle-down doesn't work.

9. Horizontal and vertical strips, do you have the number for the fashion police?

8. You've sold yourself to your work.

7. He stands around, cheers occasionally, and comes home with a cold.

6. They're so upset, they're practically throwing chairs against the wall.

5. She's shaking hands with all the people who'd rather have the job.

4. It's still likely that he'll act like an idiot and make you stand up.

3. How do I sweeten the offer without pushing Sarah into a diabetic coma?

2. The deal stands, you owe me a tenner.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'd rather you didn't kiss me, but go on!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Week ; 178

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I oppose your incompetence.

9. Two out of the three people in our department thing he'll be gone by the Spring.

8. I will do everything in my power to look as inappropriate for the end of year party.

7. You know me, the chase is half the fun.

6. We think it's wrong, that's the official line, meanwhile, we're all doing it.

5. It's being held hostage by free-loading idiots.

4. I suspect your plan may have more holes than a fishing net Sandra.

3. He asked her out, she was only 15!

2. This notion that we're all safe is exactly what they want us to think.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. When everyone start using sweet potatoes?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Last Week ; 177

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Does she have a pin and where is it?

9. We're ignoring the pressure all around us.

8. You are asking for trouble.

7. It adds 900 million pounds to the debt.

6. In return for that, I want you to promise me you'll stop being a sod.

5. No decorations this year, I can't be arsed.

4. The 'modern economy', no-one knows what that means!

3. What about your continuing ability to be suave?

2. Christmas party in November, say what?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You've got to fight for your right... to a seat over the wheel arch.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 176

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's got a shot of whiskey in it, for that extra double-kick.

9. It gave me a great chance to waffle until the senior managers started to lose feeling in their budgets.

8. Bus pass, BUS PASS, where is it?!

7. I put it to you that it's the hottest topic of the moment, iphone or blackberry?

6. That wasn't romance, that was wine.

5. What's your pin, so we can be in contact even when we're poor and broke?

4. I'll leave you behind at Specsavers and catch you up at Rymans.

3. There's plants all hanging from it, you'll have to see it, I can't describe it.

2. She's planning to dress up with huge pants, a pink top and giant ears.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He's one of life's great thinkers... never done a thing, but he's like your Dad; always thinking.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Keep Your Ear To The Wall

After a delay, today saw the green walls in Canal Walk revealed. The larger one on the pedestrian bridge is radically different to what's gone before. The other green wall is smaller, and higher up, on the thin edge of the eastern side of the girder bridge.

Despite the heated discussion about the water feature and the town centre redevelopment, the green wall has got off (relatively) lightly. It'll be interesting to see how it goes, what it looks like in brighter conditions and what flowers/matures on it.

Swindon Centric Says : The green wall is certainly a grower, not too sure about the Mickey Mouse ears being put on the wall of the Brunel carpark at the same time. A moment after this picture was taken, Swindon Centric saw one side of the ears become terribly lopsided, appeared a worker had let go, oops!

Tune in tomorrow to see if the ears are where they should be, unlike Swindon Centric's which are always deliberately kept to the ground.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 175

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's the same, but on a different World.

9. She told me to avoid fizzy drinks, fool!

8. If it's easy, it's probably not worth it... but it is terribly convenient.

7. I think she was the makeup artist on Titanic, or was it Hollyoaks?

6. The final showdown shall feature my wife, her mother-in-law and nothing but my wit!

5. He always takes the apposing view, it's irritating but necessary.

4. I spent half an hour checking if it was true, an hour and a half seeing who told her and most of the afternoon apologising.

3. If it catches fire, don't worry, I never liked this top anyway.

2. Why do most of our arguments centre around food, are we getting conversationally obese?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The graves shall yawn and the dead shall rise, put that in the press release, go on!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Labour Win Moredon By-Election

It may be off everyone else's political radar, but a few minutes ago, Labour won the Moredon council seat in the by-election.

The resignation of former Conservative councillor Stephanie Excell in September (due, as she's sort-of revealed since was because she couldn't agree with budget cuts) was the cause of the by-election.

Swindon Centric Says ; This won't alter the balance of power in the council, but, well... it's just nice in these days of Conservatism to know the electorate haven't been scared by the right that the cuts are the only way forward.

Those numbers in full...

Conservative 755

Labour 887

UKIP 129

Lib Dem 98

If this is repeated all across the country Swindon Centric's election desk can confirm that the Lib Dems would have the same number of votes as a dead head of cabbage (with apologies to cabbage heads everywhere).

Rent-Free Premises Available (No Lift Access, Will Have To Lug Own Conscience)

If you follow to it's logical conclusion the fact that Digital City were given rent-free offices in the David Murray John building because it doesn't have lift access and therefore wouldn't be let-able to any private company tenant, this could be a huge boon for some in this era of Big Society. According to this report from the Advertiser, Labour claim £3,000 could be saved by Digital City vacating their grace and favour office.

Swindon Centric Says ; So if you're a charity, volunteer organisation or quango who are in need of premises in these lean times, contact Swindon Borough Council and as long as you sit in that grey area on a venn diagram, you could be living rent free!

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 174

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Chocolate, potatoes, orange juice and kitchen roll... not at the same time!

9. He started to lollygag.

8. He's missing out totally on this sick day out.

7. Haydon Wick is starting to get like Lawns, full of pensioners with attitude.

6. There's an imbalance and at the moment she likes to be told what to do.

5. I'm as fine as can be, considering what happened to those teeth.

4. There should be a ducking for supermarkets that put Christmas stuff out before Halloween.

3. She's going as a vampire and he as a vampire killer, she's getting a 20 minute head start otherwise the evening's over before it's started.

2. You're crushing my eggs and thick-cut crinkle chips.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's a major tenant to his plan to make everyone yield and become a member of the master-race, rather ambitious for a guy in a semi.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Week ; 173

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It doesn't need charging, it lasts forever.

9. This was the third time it happens, he's only got three nails left now.

8. He's looks like Alan Carr with good teeth.

7. According to reports it wasn't as good as it sounded.

6. Unfair but tough, that's the Lib Dem slogan now.

5. You can't park there, they're using it for a seminar.

4. You're mixing him up with the footballer who sleeps with everyone.

3. He had these massive, erm, ambitions, foolish really.

2. In a way it's a hundred percent correct, but mostly wrong.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I suspect he hasn't got the best intentions after last Thursday.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Week ; 172

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a rather cool reception, surprising, given the mild weather.

9. But what about Bruce.

8. I would like them both to be happy... and apart.

7. You'll have to move to accounting.

6. Chickpeas is a perfectly acceptable addition to a pasta sauce.

5. If he falls asleep, leave him until it goes back to town.

4. Keep quiet and calm down, otherwise I won't be responsible.

3. She's back in the news and out of her clothes.

2. I know this and so does every lying bastard.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm surrendering my right to care about X-Factor.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Last Week ; 171

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They're paying, there's pressure.

9. Don't give her the good stuff!

8. It could easily cause damage or some minor bomb damage.

7. I don't have the time for this faff.

6. It would frighten me to my boots.

5. Not taste so good.

4. Keen in the bed department, unconscious that is.

3. Any questions... good.

2. Give me your phone!

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's all to do with the cutbacks, you won't be here in a few months.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

We've Got Our Digital City Wi-Fi Eye On You

Digital City (the council funded business that's missed a platter of deadlines for giving Swindon free wi-fi) has bid to install CCTV cameras in Broadgreen.

Swindon Centric Says ; Shouldn't they be concentrating on fulfilling their initial commitments than making more?

Sparks Effect Not Extinguished By CSR

The electrification of the Great Western Main Line wasn't mentioned by the Chancellor yesterday, and sources say the scheme is "in the balance" reports Wales Online (Swindon Centric isn't able to cut and paste this into a hyperlink at the moment, but a quick Google search will find it).

The source quote in full says "This is genuinely in the balance, and we are doing all we can to see if it can be done. Do not read anything into the fact it was not mentioned by George Osbourne in his statement."

Swindon Centric Says ; A phased scheme, to Reading and then onto Oxford and eventually to Swindon and Westwards might grease Osbourne's wheels.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 170

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He called her 'Madam', he was lucky to be able to walk after.

9. There are fourteen different ways to get there and it appears we're seeing a few of them this afternoon.

8. A new restaurant is just what the area needs.

7. They think it's better for Marcus that way.

6. I'm a very good scientist, but I'm sure you know that.

5. Move to a more appropriate position before they shut you down.

4. Popcorn not included, but encouraged.

3. It's time for a change, besides, it's falling apart.

2. They'll start to get better before you know your way around in the dark.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I like it on the dining room table.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.