Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 359

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can't expect me to like the idea just because it's the right one.

9. I just can't keep up with you.

8. That's fine, but have you thought about her feelings in all this?

7. It was a very low light, almost not there when you looked back.

6. I thought you were closed today when I saw the shutter halfway down.

5. Keep some perspective, just because she said no doesn't mean she'll always say no.

4. I thought it was Mars bars there was a shortage of.

3. Butter beans she was after, well I couldn't bloody well find them could I?

2. They'll have sold it off by next week.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The parish is meant to take over running my local supermarket, they seem to be being handed everything else it wouldn't surprise me.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 358

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can apply for it online.

9. If it accidentally falls over, please catch it.

8. It's a mistake, that's all.

7. They've sold it, that's it really.

6. He's a survivor, not a victim.

5. Everyone was surprised.

4. Who knew she really, really fancied him

3. I'm amazed you'd never tried popcorn until last Thursday.

2. Bad things they may be, but they are fun.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I got a top in Urban Outfitters, we went to Wagamamas, Dunkin' Donuts and Elliot fell asleep on the way back and I gave him a wet willy.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 357

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She threw her feet right into it.

9. I can't take much more of this, I thought you'd sorted all of this underpants business out.

8. Let's keep it all private and not talk about it here.

7. Fish fingers is where I'm thinking.

6. He always doing impressions of people, not very well.

5. Snapchat him for god's sake.

4. I shall protest most strongly if it goes ahead.

3. They're going to start giving change again.

2. Keep it clean please.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I only shop their for my loo cleaner, everything else is far too cheap.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Omnibusshambles

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

As goes the Wichelstowe quality bus corridor plan.

The aims of the project already seem to largely exist. The buses in use by Thamesdown are the newer vehicles, fitted with Wi-Fi and information displays, with a highly-recognisable brand (despite the soft market research currently being undertaken by the new owners), with a high frequency of service.

The only aims not already in existence seem to be a quicker journey time, limited stops and traffic priority.

Over £3 million is allocated to speed up the number 11 from 22 minutes journey time to 10 minutes, as the original plan for Wichelstowe foresaw a rapid transit (posh name for fast bus) route.

Swindon Borough Council propose to achieve this by getting rid of pedestrian crossings in Old Town and diverting buses along Wood Street and diverting general traffic in other ways.

Firstly, the 22 minute journey time is from Waitrose and as anyone knows, no-one commutes from Waitrose into town. Secondly, the pedestrian crossings in Old Town are necessary. The footpaths on Devizes Road at the northern end are narrow enough currently that two people have trouble squeezing past each other, let alone if the crossing is removed. The shared space at Regent Circus does work well, but pedestrians only have to look one way on each crossing. Try removing the northern Devizes Road crossing and then attempt to cross over, looking both ways, with no traffic lights and a roadway surface that matches the footpath with a lorry pinning you to the wall of the buildings.  Thirdly, Swindon Centric can't imagine the Wood Street glitterati wanting such common things as omnibuses zooming along ferrying working class people to work.

Trust SBC to want to spend wonga without realising what they've already bought, already had installed, and already don't use. The bus gate, lights and junction on Wootton Bassett Road are currently only used for westbound buses, despite being built for townbound buses from Wichelstowe and has never been used.

Why to goodness does SBC not investigate running a bus from Wichelstowe via Redposts Drive and into town either via the unused bus infrastructure via Penzance Drive and the Outlet or east along Wootton Bassett Road and the former bus route of William Street? The journey time would be nearer the 10 minute mark via William Street than the expensive, strange and dangerous proposals through Old Town.

The Mechanics of Trust

If the Mechanics' Trust got a pound for every column inch of coverage of their cause then the building in question would be gold-plated by now.

The latest grand plan from them deems that they want to take over the entirety of the Railway Village. The trust also want £15 - £20 million of Heritage Lottery Fund money to cover the cost of repairing the Mechanics', but they fail to see the wood for the trees.

There's no way the HLF will give two bids of money of such quantities to Swindon for two projects, the Mechanics' and the new museum and art gallery (regardless of whether it will be on the Wyvern car park site or if they get drunk and decide to go with the London Street carriage works site that the Mechanics' Trust are so certain on).

Swindon Borough Council and Forward Swindon already have a plan for the carriage works site, plus Forward Swindon have their own feasibility study into the Mechanics'. The latter was missed out of the Adver piece.

The track record of the Trust is patchy at a very generous best :

- Bakers Arms. Given to the Trust after closing in 2012. Still closed.

- Central Community Centre. Given to the Trust from SBC. According to news provided by an independent source (that independent source being, erm, the Mechanics' Trust), it's being run well.

- The Old Railway Cottage. Given to the Trust from SBC. Opened a handful of times, but no prospect of opening regularly.

- An allotment plot. Given to the Trust (along with the purchase of new tools). Has been overgrown ever since.

- A People's Lottery-funded development officer who left part way through his tenure due to creative differences.

On top of this, the Trust want to be given :

The Health Hydro.

The old Railway Museum.

The Cricketers Pub.

Plus they want £50,000 to put together a business plan for their plan for the Mechanics' building.

Do we trust the Trust?

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 356

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Clinton should do it again.

9. Put it away, everyone does not want to see that.

8. They were getting dirtier than was reasonable.

7. She's round mine, no, not yours, 'cos if she was at yours, she wouldn't be round mind.

6. Chaos is so massively overused.

5. It's just chicken with a fur coat on.

4. They say their priority is to the shareholders, which it always has been.

3. It doesn't mean anything if she doesn't leave him.

2. What's that sound this morning, is someone running an electric saw?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Let's try something new, you not lying to my face.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 355

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. If you get this wrong everyone will blame you.

9. There's not enough solicitors in the world to stop it.

8. It's coming right towards you, look.

7. Personally Sarah has had her chips lots of times.

6. I'm not a medical professional you know.

5. No they're playing at home after the shambles of last time.

4. Just get it done and choose the bulgar wheat.

3. He's not elected, he's a lazy tosser.

2. It got sold, to Stagecoach I think.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Keep thinking you're as good looking as you believe and we'll all pretend to go along with it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 354

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They're going to sell them and convert them into shops.

9. He spent 15 minutes reading out loud the email he'd written making sure it sounded okay.

8. Oh babes, I really don't care.

7. Some things are best left unsaid.

6. She keeps all her packets and tins in alphabetical order.

5. He thought that there was an East Korea.

4. They're selling it today, so sad, they should have let them do a management buy out in the 1980s like they asked.

3. No, there's a burst pipe, you'll have to go right round past the roundabout.

2. That exposes the whole thing of how you communicate enthusiasm.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I drink goats milk, but only on a Thursday.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thamesdown Sold - Go Ahead and dump Dayriders & Travelpasses?

The deafening silence from Swindon Borough Council on the sale of Thamesdown Transport was bound to break and it has. The company has, or is about to be today or tomorrow, sold to the Go-Ahead Group

It's a pretty poor show on SBC's part, as it essentially means SBC staff (but at arms length as Thamesdown), have been caught up in a quick sale to the private sector.

Go-Ahead are far better than some of the other big national bus companies, with a history of keeping local company names (will Thamesdown live on?).

But nothing, not a whisper, has been made to the most important people in all of this, the passengers.

Firm assurances are now needed from SBC and Go Ahead on whether DayRiders and TravelPasses will remain inter-available.

Otherwise, SBC may have just doubled the price (at the least) of bus travel for the poorest in Swindon on top of the loss of routes due to SBC cutting investment/subsidies in social necessary services.

Lets hope they didn't use the words 'innovate ' and 'vibrant' in the discussions with Go-Ahead, otherwise we are all doomed.

New Swindon Parish can't set it's tax level as Borough gives it wrong numbers

Yes, that's right, as if the Swindon Rotten Parishes story couldn't get worse, Chris Humphreys reports a new gem.

The new Central Swindon North Parish will not be able to set it's parish precept by the Swindon Borough Council deadline due to SBC providing it with incorrect information.

This can only be the tip of the iceberg, especially as the Borough needs to provide as vast amount of information to all the new and existing parishes as services are foisted upon them. The Borough also need to provided them each with an asset transfer register, now considering that the department that is due to carry out this work is due to be slashed to two officers in the near future, well, you can imagine, it'a almost as if the parishes are being set up to fail.

Surely not?

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 353

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. How will it be divided up?

9. None of this is your fault you know?

8. He got trapped and I had to grab his legs.

7. It's meant to happen in three months if you're to believe the packet.

6. They want to wrestle control of the board of directors then they can sell it.

5. It sounds just marvellous.

4. You heard about this, it was all the man who visited from Birmingham was brought up for?

3. There were loads of charred bits so I had to cover it with the gravy.

2. I only knew him for two weeks, but he thinks I'm his best mate.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I was going to apply for a visa but I'm thinking twice and reckon on New Zealand instead.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Throwing Employees Under the Bus

Swindon Centric has just learnt that the employee conditions for the rumoured buyer for Swindon's Thamesdown Transport are markedly worse than those that currently apply.

These include less than 20 days holiday a year, reduced sick pay and less tolerance of employees who may have recurring sickness.

If Thamesdown is to be sold, then, what you can consider a Swindon Borough Council 'arms length' company, will see it's 'arms length' Council employees given worse conditions than presently enjoyed.

And as for the future of service quality to passengers, will multi-operator tickets (DayRiders and TravelPasses), got the same way.

Still no comment from SBC or Thamesdown on the rumours of a sale.

Feckless & Cowardly Conservative Councillors Hang Parishes Out To Die

There's an awful lot of skulking happening around Swindon's Civic Offices at present and with good reason.

The biggest transfer of power at local government level in Swindon since the creation of the Borough in 1997 is currently afoot with the foisting upon of Borough responsibilities to current parishes and the newly (yet to properly be created) ones.

As a result of this, there's a scramble to set the parish precept (the amount with the annual council tax bill that covers the services carried out by the parish within your area) with all these newly foisted upon services suddenly having to be taken into account. This is quite a shock administratively and politically as many simply cut the grass until recently.

Haydon Wick has voted a 50% increase in tax.

Stratton has voted a 27% increase in tax.

Wroughton has voted a 16.5% increase for a band D property.

Meanwhile the Borough Council has not raised council tax in Swindon since 2007, teetered on the brink of service-provision oblivion, dumped said services into the laps of parishes (and where they've not existed, just forced their undemocratic creation), and seen them have no choice but to raise tax to eye-watering levels.

Other authorities have and are doing it differently. Surrey County Council is proposing a 15% council tax increase, it, like Swindon, is Conservative-run and has had enough of government nationally sticking it's fingers in it's ears and thinking if it can't hear, everything's fine.

Swindon Borough Council's ruling Tories have done nothing of the sort, they have axed, cut and closed services while they could have been lobbying parliament nationally with the help of their Conservative MPs and putting their heads above the parapet and fighting for the people of Swindon.

But they've not. They've done nothing.

Swindon Borough Council's Conservatives are feckless, cowardly and irresponsible with the future of the Borough.

But I'm sure in the next financial year those three talents will be devolved to parishes.

Welcome to the Rotten Borough (now with 50% more parish for 50% more money).

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 352

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. If you'd broken your leg you couldn't have walked the half a mile here.

9. No mate, I'm ugly, I'm much older than my years by bad luck, pure and simple.

8. He'll nip Jayden, she better watch out, but Sarah's got a staffie and he doesn't do that.

7. You're laughing at me, I can hear it.

6. I don't think this goes to the Link Centre.

5. He owes me 80 quid, I'm sure he'll pay me back when he gets out.

4. I have no idea what a Segway is.

3. Just because you don't believe in it, doesn't mean it's not true.

2. It's really hurting now, if it's worse tomorrow I'm going to the hospital.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She doesn't get out of bed, I mean, I'm lazy, I spend the whole the day in bed, but not like that.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Council hides houses behind GLL in Hydro hoopla

Turns out that GLL discussed the idea of turning the Health Hydro at Milton Road into flats with Swindon Borough Council before announcing it.

SBC suggested they float the idea and see how it's received while GLL received the wrath, SBC hurried a minimum safe distance away from the explosion.

They clearly didn't reckon on GLL being so narked at the bad publicity, they'd just freely talk about how it came about.

Whoops, looks like SBC's been dropped heavily in the deep end (of the main pool of course).

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 351

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There were three desserts and I tried all three.

9. No he goes left, right, straight on and back round to the main road.

8. I've never expected less of you.

7. She kept jabbering on about his drinking and I couldn't stand it.

6. No, it's the one in your other hand.

5. Keep guessing, but I'm not telling you how much I paid.

4. Sue said it was all a con whilst he was away with his kids.

3. It can be rented out, but he's leaving it empty for now.

2. No parking, can't you read, it's the whole street.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. No, that bus is being gotten rid of to pay for brexit.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 350

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It'll go all the way to the hospital now, for better or worse.

9. The year was good for me, I got new shoes.

8. Typically it's 4 to 5 percent with no guarantee that he'll be able to sell it all.

7. I've got it all in the cupboard in the spare room, if there's a fire, we're all doomed.

6. Performance is really good when you get past all the apps and rubbish.

5. That drink was what my Mum was drinking in the 90s!

4. She refused to talk to me all Christmas, I just got bladdered and shouted at her.

3. He rebelled, they all got shot and that was the end, I'm not watching the next series.

2. I'm going to get active and walk a lot more, or just a little.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I could not believe the crap she was saying to me and I didn't understand it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 349

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Let's just see what happens first and jump to conclusions later.

9. Let it slide right in, slowly though.

8. It's just all in tins this Christmas, you can't taste the difference.

7. I can't get in the mood if you keep repeating that, can I?

6. He hadn't finished it, but she shoved him out the room never the less.

5. It splashed everywhere, I had to go back to the office and clean myself up.

4. The emotional strain was too much for him, he collapsed and there was nothing they could do.

3. Chris keeps swaggering around like he's in an old Western or something.

2. Snapchat is now officially over I do declare.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. If that mince pie was anything like the last one, you really won't be able to tell it's from last year.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Heritage sinks in Swindon's deep end

No-one should be that surprised at GLL's proposals for the wholesale ripping-out of the Health Hydro, especially considering their recent past performance (such as the closure of the 2nd pool at Milton Road, the debacle at The Link over the climbing wall and the ejection of the playgroup at the same centre).

If you look beyond the shouty headline, it remains to be seen if this proposal would ever get anywhere, especially inside a listed building.

In a smaller heritage story, the reaction from the Civic Voice was predictably moaning in 'we're in a paddy because we weren't just given the building because that's what we expect'-style. Makes you wonder what they've been doing about it since 2012.

In the same way that Civic Voice complained about the authorised part demolition of the Technical College building in Victoria Road and admitted that they had failed to spot the detail of it in the planning application.

The Swindon Civic Voice is a very long way from it's earlier incarnation when it use to formally and carefully critique developer plans, and was effective.

Now Civic Voice just seems to shout as often and as loud as it can like a child having a paddy.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 348

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I haven't gone too crazy though.

9. And that's why she's single.

8. Runs like a greased weasel.

7. Keep thinking that, yep that's what it is.

6. My bag was full of biscuits when I emptied them out.

5. That place is number two of where to go for breakfast.

4. You could operate it and Claire will never know.

3. There's an app on her phone that tells her what to think and feel.

2. It's filthy, I'm not sitting on it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I've rarely showed them in public, except at the party when it was my 50th.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.