Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 194

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I can see the rich people from my house.

9. I was going to catch the earlier one, but I woke up 5 minutes after it had gone.

8. Is the blue part of the pattern?

7. As long as it rhymes, you've got a marketing jingle.

6. But I don't know who that is.

5. Fry off the sauce, let it thicken up and serve with some bread.

4. I'm never drinking wine again, ever.

3. Everything she's thinking she says, whether it's insulting or not.

2. There's a drinking game involving the Lib Dems, let me think of the rules.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Let the battle of the buses commence!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 193

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Hope it gets driven away, it's so loud.

9. The character he pretends to be is more irritating than him normally.

8. Politicians just have to care less about trying to keep their job.

7. He's no longer the Chief Executive, I think Sooty replaces him.

6. They'll try and save it, but it won't work.

5. Muffins are a poor, weedy substitute for a massive piece of chocolate.

4. In Italy they don't permit chavs.

3. There's dirty all over the floor, don't put it THERE!

2. I'm quite happy getting the bus, no fuss for me.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Don't look to your left, that guy from Saturday is right there.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last) Week ; 192

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a fare boundary, you better dig-deep.

9. I would go up to the top-deck, but the air's rather thin.

8. There's been two missing and now they're changing drivers.

7. I heard that the 54 is going to disappear altogether.

6. It was a sort of cry.

5. I expect she'll be on the next one.

4. They've got a bargain day and everything's practically the same price as the carrier bags.

3. A smartcard? Just don't lose it.

2. Your motives are always cheap.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She looks like a yeti with that fur round the hood.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last, Last) Week ; 191

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I don't know what to call it.

9. It's not that I dislike it exactly.

8. When did you decide to bring your attitude with you?

7. Teacakes, whatever happened to them?

6. I'd better get back to those reports.

5. I don't trust the HR department, they're so antisocial.

4. Now listen dear, I can cook, I just choose not to, that's all.

3. I hate the idea of anyone who enjoys watching ITV 1 in primetime.

2. Move over Columbo, it appears you're jumping to clever conclusions.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Yes, I've bought more shoes, but these are the last ones I'll buy, this week.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last Last, Last) Week ; 190

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He's says he's 'in touch', haven't hear from him all day.

9. I added him, but really didn't want to, he creeps me out.

8. Objects wearing horizontal stripes appear fatter than they are.

7. You must have known that I felt like that.

6. You need another 9 pence, look in my purse.

5. I had to shake him away when we got to the roundabout.

4. It's never too much, except before payday.

3. Bargain-hunters get ready.

2. I wonder if anyone's ever bought a real pair of Ugg boots?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. All the contracts are up at the end of the month.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last) Week ; 189

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Hold my feet.

9. I'm done, thank you.

8. They're not skin-tight, these are skin type, feel that.

7. He's right out here, no, not there, here.

6. I don't feel properly equipped.

5. Take your kindness and shove it.

4. You are on fire with a song in your heart.

3. I found those pens underneath a cake case on the bargain shelf.

2. He's still got my shirt.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I suspect it's far far worse than it looks.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Union Square Wants YOU For Comments

The consultation period for the Union Square development is underway and Friday and Saturday this week marks the public exhibition to see the plans and the project staff will be there to answer questions and collect feedback.

The exhibition will be at the Central Library in Regent Street on this Friday, the 4th, 2pm-8pm and Saturday, the 5th, 10am-2pm.

No doubt the biggest areas of interest will be...

- The Whalebridge roundabout removal and replacement with traffic lights. Will Fleming Way be accessible for buses from Princes Street & Corporation Street? How will it effect traffic flow along these two roads and along Fleming Way towards the Magic Roundabout?

- What will happen to the Octagon Restaurant? Easily the town centre's best greasy spoon after a night out!

- How tall will the buildings on the edge of the area be, especially along Corporation Street and Manchester Road? Will building design make an attempt to link the two areas and see those terraces are not overlooked?

Swindon Centric Says ; This is the chance to have your say, don't miss it!

PS - If you can't make the exhibition, you can submit your views here, the Union Square website is now live and has a wealth of information.

Wi-Failed Makes Private Eye Magazine, Again

Satirical magazine Private Eye has covered the Wi-Failed debacle again in it's Rotten Boroughs column in the latest issue.

Regular readers will know that Private Eye also picked up on the scheme in a previous occasion last year.

Swindon Centric Says ; Meanwhile, the link to the Technology Strategy Board's press release about the awarding of a grant to Digital City still returns an error message, appears they're keeping their position, and their money, to themselves?

The Sparks Effect For Swindon- Hooray!

The Great Western Main Line, through Swindon to Cardiff will be electrified, with the delayed decision that was announced today.

At long last (though it won't happen any earlier than 2014 if you read the detail) the golden egg for railway investment, electrification, will happen for passengers from Swindon.

Swindon Centric Says ; Of course, whether the Department for Transport can get to grips with the Intercity Express Project and whether bi-modal trains will work in squadron service will be closely watched.

But Swindon's going to be 'under the wires', for THE railway town, it's a wonderful addition!

Wi-Failed ; Bathgate Council Confirm No Contact From Swindon's Wi-Fi Scrutinisers

Chloroform, oh, I'm sure some wish they were sleeping through this mess.

A simple letter to West Lothian Council has revealed that they received no contact from any of the 'Scrutinising Four' as I like to now call them.

This follows the suggestion by many of those involved in Digital City that the reason the business hasn't been doing well (or okay, or fine, or adequate) is because people have been taking about it.

Swindon Centric Says ; A transparent, responsive, professional local authority, welcome to West Lothian, you are now leaving the Borough of Swindon.

This just remembered...

One of those that decided to wrongly name names about the stalling of the Digital City wi-fi was everyone's favourite North Swindon MP, on the Graham Mack BBC Wiltshire Breakfast Show and Swindon Centric, along with others has the download.

The clock for apologising continues to tick...

Wi-Failed : Swindon Quango Awards Money to Swindon-Failed Business To Do More Failing

Like a bad cheap paper-back, the wi-fi struggles on, sweaty, out of breath and on the verge of collapsing the town's dignity.

Swindon-based quango (that's a government body, with public money, but kept at arms length and told to get on with it) Technology Strategy Board awarded the Swindon Signal project (the failing business that's been given nearly half a million pounds of Swindon taxpayer's money, with nothing to show for it) £331,000 in total.

For the full details, click here.

Swindon Centric Says ; Will TSB withdraw their funding after realising the dog's breakfast of a situation Digital City/Signal/Aqovia are in?

This just in...

Currently the link to the TSB press release (from November, so this is old but certainly not out of date news) isn't working. Are they reconsidering the award of the funding?

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) ; 188

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There's sun and showers for all.

9. Guess what, she's still his wife, even after all this time.

8. Put your phone away and look at me please.

7. When it got rubbish, you should have changed the channel.

6. It's time for you to just pick yourself up and carry on.

5. In the name of God I don't care at all, just let me read this.

4. We've had this conversation a few times this week.

3. I saw them in New Look, then decided I couldn't buy them and feel ethical at the same time.

2. Corned beef, tomatoes and celery.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You're on my list of suspects after my packet of biscuits went missing from special drawer, you could be untrustworthy.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last) ; 187

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I think you're doing great, even if nobody else does.

9. We need to end this right now, before one of us gets hurt.

8. She came in after the 5th date and said they were getting engaged.

7. From his marriage to all that's happened with Shelley, the man must be exhausted.

6. Just because the teabags don't produce the colour you're use to, it doesn't mean there's a plot afoot.

5. I should take you on tour with a sound like that.

4. Where did she go, the top deck?

3. The card readers are going, as the tech moves on.

2. I'm just surprised that it took him this long to start talking.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's a whole lot of snobbery between Rodbourne and Rodbourne Cheney.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wi-Failed : The Digital City is Offline

For a wi-fi company that's meant to be "innovative", the vanishing of your website doesn't inspire confidence in any potential investors.

But that's exactly what's happened with Swindon resident's-funded Digital City (they have £450,000 of our money), who's website vanished into the clear-blue sky yesterday.

Swindon Centric Says ; A valentine's Day business massacre? Everyone'll be wearing red, so it wouldn't show, got to look at the tiny positives.

Wi-Failed : In Every Medium, The Failures Are Recorded

Online, on the airwaves, and now in print the calls for an end to the Digital City era have been made.

Read Des Morgan's view and analysis of this here.

Swindon Centric Says : Save our Swindon, our money, our name and our reputation, wind up Digital City now.

Wi-Failed : SOS - Save Our Swindon

If the council leader can invoke the Swindon coat of arms and motto, so can any of us.

A review of what the latest level of bizzare activity at Digital City means for Swindon has come to the ultimate conclusion.

Read Geoff Reid's post here.

Swindon Centric Says ; If those involved aren't willing to step-down then it requires that residents step-up and highlight the embarrassment, waste and hostility this project has caused Swindon. This town is ours, those who work, live and grow-up here.

This project is causing serious and deep damage to our town, those involved have a decision to make, see it through the eyes of the people of Swindon and decide.

Health and industry, so our motto is... but is this industrial project about as healthy as a dead parrot?

Wi-Failed : The Case of the Accidental Director, AGAIN!!

Like a Saw film sequel, it just gets worse...

Avidity Consulting, the company that owns shares in Digital City (the company we, the residents of Swindon have a stake in) changed it's Director at the end of 2010. Read Geoff Reid's post here, it's explained far better than I could.

Swindon Centric Says ; How can you give up shares in a company you're no longer Director of?

A line has to be drawn in the sand, end this fool's errand. It was a bad business investment, it was just bad. For the sake of the town, it needs to end now.

Wi-Failed : Mack Holds Digital City's Failures Up To The Light

Congratulations to Graham Mack (BBC Wiltshire) for holding Rikki Hunt to account (click on the first link with the title 'Ricki Hunt talks about Swindon's wifi' for the full interview) for the quagmire that is Digital City.

Swindon Centric Says : A hat tip to Graham Mack. With the reinvigorated efforts from the Swindon Advertiser and now the BBC, it would appear those based on the hill have cleaned off the field-glasses and are peering once again down towards the Civic Offices, well done chaps.

Wi-Failed : No Repayments for 3 Months - Council To Repossess Own Lamposts

October, ahh, the month of autumn, golden days with crisp frosts, crunchy leaves and the ancient festival of Halloween.

Do you remember last October?

If not, you should. It was the last month that Digital City (the business that has £450,000 of public money from Swindon Borough Council, as a loan) repaid anything to Swindon Borough Council.

Swindon Centric Says ; But not to worry, we've been assured a private investor is waiting in the wings to buy out/in Digital City and it's conditional on us getting our money back, as our-councillor-on-the-board has said.

Hold on though, wasn't this the same councillor who said the money was being paid back?

Swindon Centric's probably just light-headed from the private investor promise, Lord Ashcroft-backed investor maybe? Sounds super!

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 186

"I have it on good authority that if you type 'google bus' into Google, you can break the internet"

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm not really a fan of him, but he was rather funny.

9. New series of Being Human, yey!

8. There's three reasons he won't go out with you and coming onto me on the way home is going to give her a fourth.

7. They need someone with knowledge of pre 1973 policies, so my job's safe.

6. I thought if people wrote in in big enough numbers it might come back.

5. She drinks far too much and can't remember a thing about it the next morning.

4. Did you remember to remind me about that thing I shouldn't forget?

3. I'd put a fiver on him not coming back, but being on facebook all the time talking about it.

2. I want to get a copy of that book, I'll have to ebay it, amazon is so corporate.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. In 1840, one man transformed travel in Britain, and he wasn't Brunel!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 185

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. What's your pin?

9. The whole thing is coming down in May.

8. Keep your hands over there.

7. You want the other side, 24.

6. There are no windows at the back!

5. The report he wanted me to finish is never going to be seen by anyone, so I just filed the file with blank A4 and headed for the shops.

4. That's all your time used up, sorry.

3. I don't quite know how to tell you this, but she doesn't like you.

2. Where did that come from? Aldi? Well, take it back, it's horrid.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You could have made more of an effort and worn less clothes.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 184

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Stick a needle here.

9. It's a bargain all the time!

8. I really want to meet your mother.

7. There's a streak of crazy running through this town.

6. Time to regift.

5. How do I tell him I think he's the embodiment of idiocy?

4. There's nothing wrong with that, sort of.

3. The wine was non-alcoholic, why?

2. He's the Grandad of the modern estate.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. His birthday card had all the warmth of a government deficit reduction plan, an icy feeling.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Swindon Centric For Those With Attention Deficit Disorder

Swindon Centric is now on Twitter.

You can find us at @swindoncentric

Swindon Centric Says : More damage, in less characters!

Wi-Failed : The Money's Ran Out - Official

That's pretty much it really.

After many weeks of promises of "an announcement soon", the straw that broke the camel's back appears to be a combination of Geoff Reid's words on Talk Swindon and (suspected) decision on the running of a story with-or-without comment by the Swindon Advertiser. They did comment.

Swindon Centric Says ; There's no money left, new investors are sought for what Councillor Perkins (who's coming across more and more like the Walker character from Dad's Army) still insists on calling "innovative" (it's not, it's wireless internet, it's been around since 1999).

Two questions now need to be asked :

What's our money been spent on?

and

Is the fundamental part of the council's checks and balances, the scrutiny process (that decided this investment was sound) unfit for purpose?

plus

How rotten are Swindon Borough Council's processes if this has been allowed to happen?

and one more for luck

Will the Swindon Borough Council councillors who openly criticised Chris Watts, Des Morgan and Councillor Steve Wakefield now apologise as this admission now vindicates their concerns?

The business idea itself was just bad, plain and simple. It was a bad investment idea.

Pedestrian Potholes, Fearless Leaders & Sick Notes.

A tremendous new year to all, now on with the important stuff...

The majority of Skanska contractors, who installed the new paving in Regent Street (and initially in Canal Walk) have done the job, but they may be regularly returning (not just for future contracts for other public realm work), but for maintenance on the Leader's New Paving.

The choice of paving slabs was altered by the council leader (according to whispers and despite advice from, you know, engineers), but they're slightly soft, which makes them absorb muck, tire tracks and other debris at an alarming rate. Happily, a budget for regular jet-washing of the paving has been set.

However, if you stroll along Regent Street, up from the fountain, you'll see several holes (no bigger than the size of a two-pence piece) appearing in the middle of slabs which are in the centre of the street.

Is this caused by the softness of the material chosen, the jet-washing, or a combination of both?

Any work on this will have to wait for Councillor Bluh (THE man for micro-managing) to return fully to work, having been scarcely seen since the start of the year.

Swindon Centric Says ; According to Swindon Borough Council employee rules, I'm sure after two days he's provided a sick-note to those in HR, giving his reasons for his absence.

Is there a tick-box for 'leadership challenge' on a doctor's note these days?

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 183

If only parts of Scott Pilgrim had been filmed on the number 15.

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Changes in attitudes and latitudes, I saw it over his shoulder.

9. Do you like asparagus?

8. It's a confidence thing - no one else is as good as him.

7. I suspect they've ran out of double-deckers.

6. The number 13, 14 of 19.

5. Move the eggs to the cloth bag, or you'll be having an undercooked, impromptu omelette on the bus.

4. I haven't seen it advertised anywhere, but believe me, it's there.

3. Jackie said that Hayley had seen Tyrone, she was majorly embarrassed.

2. We nickname it Spiffington Manse, sounds better than The Lodge.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They've reduced all the 2010 New Year-branded stuff, I bought a bagful.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 182

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Is that you, or a thin version of what I hope you would be?

9. It's howling like a wolf at the vet's.

8. Stacey wouldn't like a set of hair straighteners as her main present.

7. If it explodes, there's going to be presents all over the bodies.

6. Who cares who carves it? Is it going to make him less of a man if M&S have pre-sliced it?

5. The bell will toll for not just thee, but the entire rotten bunch of you, give me it back!

4. Preparing for some Christmas sharin', or words to that seasonal effect.

3. They stop after 8 o'clock, considering the last one's at 4.25pm, it makes very little difference.

2. His reply was as expected, moany, lacking in any interest or respect and via a memo.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Remember me? I used to run around after you before I realised what a cow you were?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 181

There's more excitement on the top deck.

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a buffet, there'll be paper plates I'm sure.

9. Sounds like lift music to me, not that I've ever been in one.

8. Much like the elastic in your pants, it's failing all over.

7. Hold on, my hands are full.

6. Check and see whether he's home yet, if not, we'll go to my mother's.

5. You've got to be joking me?

4. He seemed frightfully surprised, throughout the evening, that I could, and was, dancing.

3. Take your hat off, this is not a film noir.

2. I see that you bought shiny wrapping paper, rather devil-may-care for you?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's doubtful it'll be busy, besides, who shops in their, apart from mercinaries and your family?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Enterprising New Year Bus Price Cuts!

With buses still running through the snow today, this news of a price cut (yes, CUT!) by Stagecoach in Swindon and Thamesdown Transport seems terribly appropriate.

The 7-day TravelPassPlus (allowing unlimited bus travel on both companies buses within Swindon and out to Wootton Bassett, Cricklade, Highworth, Foxhill and a host of other places) is being slashed to £10 between the 9th January and the 5th February.

This is great news for those who commute from places outside the town and passengers within Swindon. The usual price for a 7-day TravelPass in the Swindon area is £13 and for those in the 7-day TravelPassPlus area is £15.

Swindon Centric Says ; Well done Stagecoach and Thamesdown, get saving those pounds in the New Year!

Wi-Fail : Councillor Contradicts Roll-Out Plan By Digital City

A 'where-aren't-we-now' story this week by the Swindon Advertiser's Charley Morgan did well to keep the public's attention on the collapsing council-backed project.

One comment by everyone's favourite 'Your councillor on the wi-fi company's board', Garry Perkins is very telling.

The quote is, "And we hope a large part of the town will be completed by this time next year."

When Rikki Hunt (CEO of Digital City, the company meant to be doing the work) appeared on Graham Mack's Swindon Breakfast Show on BBC Wiltshire at the start of October, this exchange occurred...

Graham Mack : "So it'll be finished this time next year?"

Rikki Hunt : "Yeah".

Swindon Centric Says : Who's right? Who's wrong? Who knows?!!!!

PS - If you're having a Christmas Party this weekend, Swindon Centric wishes you a great time, and hopes you can leave work worries at the door.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 180

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She was a force of nature.

9. It's down Fleet Street, no, the really grotty bit.

8. I've now become 17% more productive since getting divorced.

7. How many people did that and got away with it though.

6. Salmon, chicken or pasta, you have 10 seconds to decided.

5. At home last time I checked, among the mass of memories in the garage.

4. I couldn't stop laughing, then realised he was just getting warmed up.

3. Four layers, I am the Layer King!

2. There's a thaw coming, hold onto your frozen bits.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I predicted a riot and look what happened, hope they know a good glazier.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Week ; 179

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Trickle-down doesn't work.

9. Horizontal and vertical strips, do you have the number for the fashion police?

8. You've sold yourself to your work.

7. He stands around, cheers occasionally, and comes home with a cold.

6. They're so upset, they're practically throwing chairs against the wall.

5. She's shaking hands with all the people who'd rather have the job.

4. It's still likely that he'll act like an idiot and make you stand up.

3. How do I sweeten the offer without pushing Sarah into a diabetic coma?

2. The deal stands, you owe me a tenner.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'd rather you didn't kiss me, but go on!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Week ; 178

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I oppose your incompetence.

9. Two out of the three people in our department thing he'll be gone by the Spring.

8. I will do everything in my power to look as inappropriate for the end of year party.

7. You know me, the chase is half the fun.

6. We think it's wrong, that's the official line, meanwhile, we're all doing it.

5. It's being held hostage by free-loading idiots.

4. I suspect your plan may have more holes than a fishing net Sandra.

3. He asked her out, she was only 15!

2. This notion that we're all safe is exactly what they want us to think.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. When everyone start using sweet potatoes?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Last Week ; 177

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Does she have a pin and where is it?

9. We're ignoring the pressure all around us.

8. You are asking for trouble.

7. It adds 900 million pounds to the debt.

6. In return for that, I want you to promise me you'll stop being a sod.

5. No decorations this year, I can't be arsed.

4. The 'modern economy', no-one knows what that means!

3. What about your continuing ability to be suave?

2. Christmas party in November, say what?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You've got to fight for your right... to a seat over the wheel arch.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 176

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's got a shot of whiskey in it, for that extra double-kick.

9. It gave me a great chance to waffle until the senior managers started to lose feeling in their budgets.

8. Bus pass, BUS PASS, where is it?!

7. I put it to you that it's the hottest topic of the moment, iphone or blackberry?

6. That wasn't romance, that was wine.

5. What's your pin, so we can be in contact even when we're poor and broke?

4. I'll leave you behind at Specsavers and catch you up at Rymans.

3. There's plants all hanging from it, you'll have to see it, I can't describe it.

2. She's planning to dress up with huge pants, a pink top and giant ears.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He's one of life's great thinkers... never done a thing, but he's like your Dad; always thinking.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Keep Your Ear To The Wall

After a delay, today saw the green walls in Canal Walk revealed. The larger one on the pedestrian bridge is radically different to what's gone before. The other green wall is smaller, and higher up, on the thin edge of the eastern side of the girder bridge.

Despite the heated discussion about the water feature and the town centre redevelopment, the green wall has got off (relatively) lightly. It'll be interesting to see how it goes, what it looks like in brighter conditions and what flowers/matures on it.

Swindon Centric Says : The green wall is certainly a grower, not too sure about the Mickey Mouse ears being put on the wall of the Brunel carpark at the same time. A moment after this picture was taken, Swindon Centric saw one side of the ears become terribly lopsided, appeared a worker had let go, oops!

Tune in tomorrow to see if the ears are where they should be, unlike Swindon Centric's which are always deliberately kept to the ground.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 175

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's the same, but on a different World.

9. She told me to avoid fizzy drinks, fool!

8. If it's easy, it's probably not worth it... but it is terribly convenient.

7. I think she was the makeup artist on Titanic, or was it Hollyoaks?

6. The final showdown shall feature my wife, her mother-in-law and nothing but my wit!

5. He always takes the apposing view, it's irritating but necessary.

4. I spent half an hour checking if it was true, an hour and a half seeing who told her and most of the afternoon apologising.

3. If it catches fire, don't worry, I never liked this top anyway.

2. Why do most of our arguments centre around food, are we getting conversationally obese?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The graves shall yawn and the dead shall rise, put that in the press release, go on!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Labour Win Moredon By-Election

It may be off everyone else's political radar, but a few minutes ago, Labour won the Moredon council seat in the by-election.

The resignation of former Conservative councillor Stephanie Excell in September (due, as she's sort-of revealed since was because she couldn't agree with budget cuts) was the cause of the by-election.

Swindon Centric Says ; This won't alter the balance of power in the council, but, well... it's just nice in these days of Conservatism to know the electorate haven't been scared by the right that the cuts are the only way forward.

Those numbers in full...

Conservative 755

Labour 887

UKIP 129

Lib Dem 98

If this is repeated all across the country Swindon Centric's election desk can confirm that the Lib Dems would have the same number of votes as a dead head of cabbage (with apologies to cabbage heads everywhere).

Rent-Free Premises Available (No Lift Access, Will Have To Lug Own Conscience)

If you follow to it's logical conclusion the fact that Digital City were given rent-free offices in the David Murray John building because it doesn't have lift access and therefore wouldn't be let-able to any private company tenant, this could be a huge boon for some in this era of Big Society. According to this report from the Advertiser, Labour claim £3,000 could be saved by Digital City vacating their grace and favour office.

Swindon Centric Says ; So if you're a charity, volunteer organisation or quango who are in need of premises in these lean times, contact Swindon Borough Council and as long as you sit in that grey area on a venn diagram, you could be living rent free!

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 174

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Chocolate, potatoes, orange juice and kitchen roll... not at the same time!

9. He started to lollygag.

8. He's missing out totally on this sick day out.

7. Haydon Wick is starting to get like Lawns, full of pensioners with attitude.

6. There's an imbalance and at the moment she likes to be told what to do.

5. I'm as fine as can be, considering what happened to those teeth.

4. There should be a ducking for supermarkets that put Christmas stuff out before Halloween.

3. She's going as a vampire and he as a vampire killer, she's getting a 20 minute head start otherwise the evening's over before it's started.

2. You're crushing my eggs and thick-cut crinkle chips.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's a major tenant to his plan to make everyone yield and become a member of the master-race, rather ambitious for a guy in a semi.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Week ; 173

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It doesn't need charging, it lasts forever.

9. This was the third time it happens, he's only got three nails left now.

8. He's looks like Alan Carr with good teeth.

7. According to reports it wasn't as good as it sounded.

6. Unfair but tough, that's the Lib Dem slogan now.

5. You can't park there, they're using it for a seminar.

4. You're mixing him up with the footballer who sleeps with everyone.

3. He had these massive, erm, ambitions, foolish really.

2. In a way it's a hundred percent correct, but mostly wrong.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I suspect he hasn't got the best intentions after last Thursday.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Week ; 172

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a rather cool reception, surprising, given the mild weather.

9. But what about Bruce.

8. I would like them both to be happy... and apart.

7. You'll have to move to accounting.

6. Chickpeas is a perfectly acceptable addition to a pasta sauce.

5. If he falls asleep, leave him until it goes back to town.

4. Keep quiet and calm down, otherwise I won't be responsible.

3. She's back in the news and out of her clothes.

2. I know this and so does every lying bastard.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm surrendering my right to care about X-Factor.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Last Week ; 171

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They're paying, there's pressure.

9. Don't give her the good stuff!

8. It could easily cause damage or some minor bomb damage.

7. I don't have the time for this faff.

6. It would frighten me to my boots.

5. Not taste so good.

4. Keen in the bed department, unconscious that is.

3. Any questions... good.

2. Give me your phone!

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's all to do with the cutbacks, you won't be here in a few months.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

We've Got Our Digital City Wi-Fi Eye On You

Digital City (the council funded business that's missed a platter of deadlines for giving Swindon free wi-fi) has bid to install CCTV cameras in Broadgreen.

Swindon Centric Says ; Shouldn't they be concentrating on fulfilling their initial commitments than making more?

Sparks Effect Not Extinguished By CSR

The electrification of the Great Western Main Line wasn't mentioned by the Chancellor yesterday, and sources say the scheme is "in the balance" reports Wales Online (Swindon Centric isn't able to cut and paste this into a hyperlink at the moment, but a quick Google search will find it).

The source quote in full says "This is genuinely in the balance, and we are doing all we can to see if it can be done. Do not read anything into the fact it was not mentioned by George Osbourne in his statement."

Swindon Centric Says ; A phased scheme, to Reading and then onto Oxford and eventually to Swindon and Westwards might grease Osbourne's wheels.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 170

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He called her 'Madam', he was lucky to be able to walk after.

9. There are fourteen different ways to get there and it appears we're seeing a few of them this afternoon.

8. A new restaurant is just what the area needs.

7. They think it's better for Marcus that way.

6. I'm a very good scientist, but I'm sure you know that.

5. Move to a more appropriate position before they shut you down.

4. Popcorn not included, but encouraged.

3. It's time for a change, besides, it's falling apart.

2. They'll start to get better before you know your way around in the dark.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I like it on the dining room table.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

The Living Wall : Autumn Planting

Whatever administration and red tape would appear now to be over and it's full steam ahead for the Living Wall on the bridges above Canal Walk.

Swindon Centric Says ; We've got some spare crocus bulbs, any help?

P.S. - It's a shame that this seems to have been 'announced' by the council, rather than Forward Swindon, there's nothing on their main site, or recently reinvigorated twitter page about it. Maybe the council wanted to get this out to be seen to be doing something on town centre improvements after Karen Walker's resignation.

But why not get Forward Swindon to announce this? Otherwise, what's the point of the company?

Power Cut Caused By Pot-Shot Vandalism

Last week's blue flash at 1am at the electrical substation at Moredon that caused a power cut to various parts of Swindon was caused by malicious vandalism.

A reply to an enquiry from Scottish and Southern Energy revealed that an insulator for a 33,000 volt line at the substation was damaged, causing a short-circuit and the loss of power across the town.

What's more worrying and annoying is that the insulator was damaged in a particular way from an 'outside source', it's thought to have been shot with an air rifle.

Swindon Centric Says ; Hopefully, their power went off too, fools.

Swindon Sitcom Loses Principal Character

Karen Walker has left Forward Swindon after just three months in the job.

Such a shame, considering she was working on a new regeneration plan for the town centre (taking into account the current/old one has failed) and the simple move of grassing over empty plots to give the town a radical improvement in appearance and increase in (temporary) open space.

It was for 'personal reasons', but, word is, her approach was at odds with Swindon Borough Council, who wanted a 'quick reaction plan' for when the economy picks up. The council are currently trying to push through the stunningly unimaginative scheme for Regent Circus.

Swindon Centric Says ; We need a long-term plan, otherwise we'll be in the same place in a decade, think beyond your own political interests councillors and give us some substance!

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon Buses Last Week ; 169

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Let's go to my house.

9. Move your feet, they're huge.

8. You're tremendously excited!

7. Come and look at this.

6. Parsnips and carrots, it's gone winterish.

5. Biscuits are the slow road towards obesity.

4. I'm hoping for a smart card.

3. She didn't wash her hands, grubby like a chimney sweep.

2. If you need more, ask me in an hour.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He's funnier than a six pound note and I've got one.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 168

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Bish, bash, bosh, job done.

9. I'm resigning, I just don't care any more.

8. It's of very little help, despite the mostly full-hearted intentions.

7. I've really grown into my baldness.

6. Follow the leader and wait for a pilotman by the gate.

5. These new shoes have been made out of old tires.

4. Let's take all the buses and line them all up, they'd stretch the entire length of Queens Drive.

3. It's a national responsibility, you can't be that narrow-minded.

2. The survey came out with a sampling of the most average group of consumers we could find and they all said they'd only like to buy Christmas stuff in December.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Two millionaire comedians, get their slightly less successful best mate to front a show in which he gets paid well-enough, but they make him look like a tit? Oh the dignity of these so-called 'comedy saviours'!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Council Meeting Meltdown - Bluh Apologises

Swindon Borough Council melted down in front of the public's eyes tonight.

A shambolic full council meeting was held this evening, with members of the public's questions cut off, talking-down to them by officials, interruptions by the Mayor and more.

At one point a member of the public told off the councilors and officials present for their behaviour, manners and attitude towards the public present.

Things came to a head when Council leader Rod Bluh apologised for what he considers the worst ever council meeting he's attended.

Swindon Centric Says ; The public's confidence, shaky as it was, has been shot to pieces. You know things are bad when Councillor Fionuala Foley then pleads with the members of the public who've been insulted to continue to engage with their council.

Council Bleeds As Budget Crunch Comes

Councillor Stephanie Excell (Conservative, Moredon) has resigned, confirmed by Councillor Steve Wakefield (Independent, Toothill & Westlea) on Talk Swindon.

Swindon Centric Says ; With the strike this weekend, the Mechanics', the emergency budget (sorry 'review') and a full council meeting tomorrow, this is another item the ruling Conservative party could have done without.

So, Stephanie, what was it? Answers on a piece of recycled Mechanics' Institute roof.

Explosions, Blue Flashes & Power Cuts

There was a blue flash (something going bang?) at an electrical substation in Moredon at 1 o'clock this morning, causing a power cut across various parts of the town.

Swindon Centric Says ; Something to liven up a quiet Sunday evening, no doubt!

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 167

Gentlemen, when did you last give up your seat on a crowded bus? Make it your task for this week.

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Jaffa Cakes have practically nothing bad in them, it's what it said on a packet.

9. Look at the gorgeousness.

8. It's so full on here I think it might just explode.

7. I'm not a trained dog, I'm a Level 3 employee.

6. On the soul train, climb aboard!

5. Just let them all on, no tickets.

4. Such a childish outburst from someone who can't wear shoes with laces.

3. I've barely started on that thing you did with your hair.

2. What the hell does LMC stand for?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The film is just an excuse for uber comedians to make fun of stupid people and any other film is better than it, do not endorse it by garnering it with your attention.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Bus Tickets, Timetable Tweaks & The Great Roof Rerouting Caper

Once Stagecoach in Swindon introduce their smartcards, let's hope Swindon's fashionistas make the way you carry your card the next big-thing for this autumn's season.

For those residents of Okus, your bus service is being changed again, but just by tweaking. The number 22 will now run to the very end of Okus Road and turn round at St. Helen's View. This change may be a result of feedback from passengers after the changes necessary due to funding cuts, small but may be significant for those passengers living at the far western end of Okus.

Any further possible changes to the bus service to Okus will have to wait to see how heavily debated the issue is at the next full council meeting.

Anyone who may have caught a Stagecoach bus since the beginning of the month will have noticed the new ticket machines they've fitted, which, most interestingly, have a 'touch in' facility for smartcards.

Due to the 'raising the roof' of the Mechanic's Institute, the usual route for services 1, 1A, 8, 13, 14, 19, 19A, 27, 29, 53, 54, 55 and 55A will change to be via Faringdon Road and Park Lane, rather than via Emlyn Square. That diversion starts from tomorrow (Monday 13th) and will be until further notice.

Swindon Centric Says ; Will Stagecoach soon be launching a smartcard ticket range in the town and will it be compatible and complimentary to that Network Card-branded system that's been in use for a while on Thamesdown?

Mechanics' To Become Swindon Borough Council's Defining Moment?

The roof of the Mechanic's Institute is weak enough to be in danger of collapse and Friday's press release from Swindon Borough Council details the removal of the roof before that happens.

After much politicking in recent years, the announcement that the Council were to carry out the emergency repair work on the Mechanics had the feel of a sudden redemptive move by a drunk waking up the morning after. There was much throwing up of specially made banners and hoardings and portacabins and then... little visible work appeared to happen.

The fact the roof was about to fall on Swindon Commercial Services workers explains that.

In the intervening days and weeks between SCS moving in and today the full-extent of the works needed to be taken has become starkly clear to all involved. There seemed to be an attempt to soften the blow when the building's condition was given an interim assessment in this press release. No simple quick fix, photo-op and glory taking by councillors seems possible and thank goodness.

Swindon Centric Says ; The fate of this building represents perfectly the fate of Swindon Borough Council and it's ruling Conservative party. What outwardly seemed solid-enough clearly, after investigation, is dangerously in need of work before it collapses in on itself and showers everyone, councillors, council workers and locals with debris.

If this weekend's announcement of careful, painstaking dismantling and repair of the northern roof is followed through, this could just mark a brave (a word never used in politics, for it represents a true decision that can lead to political suicide for the people concerned) move that Swindon Borough Council's ruling executive needed to make.

Does today mark the day our Council finally chose to be a council?

Only the fate of the roof in Emlyn Square can be the marker for that (appropriately, it's currently covered in Conservative-blue plastic sheeting).

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 166

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It wasn't separate then, and it worked perfectly well.

9. Preparations are progressing at a walking-through-toffee pace.

8. It's a turning point.

7. Impact-specific, time-sensitive projective achievements.

6. I'm not even supposed to be here, I'm a man on the run.

5. There's eight new ones, can't wait to cop them.

4. We were talking and the subject of your strange gait cropped up.

3. Pizza resembles something somebody's regurgitated.

2. You teach it, but you don't believe it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You must be joking if you think I'm taking responsibility for that thing, put it AWAY!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 165

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I can't remember what name was used, but it included many f's.

9. Did you get that second insulting text as well?

8. I'm keen to see something, anything, involving cooking in that kitchen.

7. It was clear we're heading for Disney.

6. You need scatter-rugs and a personality.

5. Mixed, baked and thoroughly cheesed-off.

4. Get David, ask him, then go totally the other way.

3. Everyone can respond to.

2. Charlotte's not been seen since March, she could have been cut back, it's a long name badge to produce.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Pick it up, run with it, slow down, collapse, job done.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 164

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Go after him and see if he runs off.

9. Extend them to the top three percent and we could all have double-glazing.

8. It's a fourth plank, good looking, but ultimately useless.

7. Don't tell me fine dining involves anything you can microwave.

6. A fire tornado, aren't they being phased out?

5. It's the week after, then all things will become humdrum routine.

4. Finally to Liden.

3. You need a better excuse to not go than that.

2. Accept what was said, slash all his clothes and move on.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. At least in Wales I know where I stand.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 163

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He didn't have a stich on.

9. They've never got anything in apart from biscuits, ready meals and an attitude.

8. It's articulated, like them buses.

7. Owned by the holding company, using the old name, managed by the Swiss.

6. I'm taking it all off for a 3rd time now.

5. It's a whole new World.

4. Even I fancy him and I'm not into the men.

3. Right now, it's happening, NOW!

2. Put that earpiece down and listen.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm speaking with the greatest of sincerity, but you're a boring git.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Confirmed - Wi-Fi Scheme Has NO Paying Customers

This scheme has all the shades of The Simpson's Monorail episode.

The open secret about the commercial success of Digital City's venture (using £450,000 of council money) has been confirmed by this article.

There are no paying customers for the business, those people in Highworth are only using the free one at present. The article gives the indication that Digital City haven't chosen to launch the pay service because of the problems encountered in Highworth (the hills and the lack of lamposts)

Swindon Centric Says ; "The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley and I come before you good people today with an idea..."If Leonard Nimoy doesn't turn up soon, we'll not be happy.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 162

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was right out in the countryside.

9. There was absolutely nothing special about it.

8. The open air, with a sniff of a gherkin for added spice.

7. Use the spotlight, then you can make it seem very worrying.

6. I've actually invaded your brain and implanted that idea, so I claim it for myself.

5. Bending and warped, I'm worried it might fall out of it's slot and ruin everything.

4. Get comfortable, I've got a story to tell you.

3. How does it work, do you have to hand your self-respect in at the door.

2. I'm worth perhaps 17 times more than her mid-level management babbleness.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The odds have strangely lined up in her favour, this never happens.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.