20 and out

Sense has prevailed and the Thamesdown Transport service 20 will not return.

Despite politicians trying to lay the blame for it's demise at Thamesdown's door, the straight-talking from the bus company's head should be commended for making it clear that the service never covered it's costs.

Swindon Borough Council can "um" and "ah" about it's withdrawal and there being subsidy available to run some sort of service, but when that subsidy is only £25,000, you can see the deep blue water between politics and reality of how much it costs to run a bus service on the ground.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 284

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. We thought we'd get done for assault.

9. The number 20, no-one uses it, if someone wants to pay for it fine.

8. I didn't know they could physically do that.

7. I always made sure you had enough at Christmas, most of the time.

6. There's nothing in it, I know he took it on Thursday.

5. My JSA's not come through yet, so do you want them or not?

4. She'd done so many selfies, it's a wonder that Nationwide have got any work out of her.

3. They might get suspicious, which is the last thing anyone wants.

2. I reckon garlic bread should be freely distributed en masse.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. And you absolutely cannot eat anything after 8 o'clock, otherwise you might as well just give up all hope right now.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 283

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Admit nothing, remember that.

9. He'll be like a spare part if he comes along.

8. I was absolutely soaked, I've said that the lock on the door needs to be fixed for months.

7. Do it in your funny voice, that makes you sound like a little girl.

6. Claire reckons I don't know, but I do and I really, really, don't care as much as she thinks.

5. Go for it, push, go on, it won't come off.

4. Whatcha mean, I've got a bag-full here, of course we've got enough.

3. The supplement is never inside it, I don't know why I bother even trying to buy it at the full price.

2. Let me think about all of this and call her back, because I'm not convinced she is talking about the same thing I am.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. That's a wow bad image to put in my head, what the hell is wrong with you, you freak?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

View from the Blue Top

A nugget of wisdom from today's Swindon Beaver Herald (yes, a Beaver) courtesy of the housewives's favourite Tory Boy, Marcus Monter...

I don't mean to gloat, but he won! Yes, the most unelectable leader of Labour since, well the last leader, that bacon sandwich-munching twit. Well done, but he doesn't stand a chance, and if he's still here in a year's time, I'll eat something from one of those cheap supermarkets, but only if it's a premium brand. Meanwhile, blah blah, hard working families, blah blah, poverty? I'd love to comment, but I'm up to my word count, up the Tory Blue workers!

For reasons of balance, the red party were contacted locally, but they were too busy weaping into their boxsets of 'Now, this is what I call the 1970s'.

Anything but the Mechanics'

It seems the Mechanics' Trust has now crowned itself the voice of Swindon's historic buildings, following this recent Adver story about the Corn Exchange.

This follows onto the growing list of new projects and pies the trust seem to have their limited fingers into. This includes the Baker's Arms pub, the Central Community Centre, the old Railway Museum cottage and an allotment.

Meanwhile, the building they're meant to be dedicating their time to sits empty and derelict and they don't own it.

Is the trust diversifying itself for the day it's decreed they're not to be involved in the future of the Mechanics' Institute?

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 282

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's what the corporate world has come to expect of us, which is sad.

9. You'd expect someone to say, but I just walked out with it.

8. Are we starting with the introduction first?

7. Put everything in that one bag, then I can keep this clear for the soft things.

6. You don't need change on those.

5. It doesn't run anymore, it's not gone for years now.

4. 'Ello Elsie, how's you going since your husband passed?

3. He started going on about how amazing the bay was, I had to pretend to be interested.

2. Ever since they replaced it with lights, it's always blocked, bring back the roundabout!

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The sad thing is, the clock stopped chiming, then working and hardly anyone noticed.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 281

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. What's unnatural about that, she's up for it.

9. The ladies don't like it when you ask them to lick your sausage.

8. People didn't have as many relatives back then.

7. You're not undercover, they know you're producing a report on their department.

6. Elaine didn't reckon the marketing plan could be carried out by someone wearing canary yellow.

5. Do you want a babychino?

4. If this traffic don't move I'll be home too late to do dinner and too early to do tea.

3. I think they're alright, he's funny and she's not as moany as I remember.

2. They wanted me to fill out yet another form after they'd lost the original order and couldn't find the email that showed the bolts falling out.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Matty was clearly annoyed, she was throwing out expletives like a trigger happy prison guard firing a machine gun.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 280

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There'll always be someone that comes along and invents something.

9. Not the best start but we'll see what happens.

8. They've only got 3 points, it's not like you can get out the champagne and all that.

7. Is that a Swindon number?

6. This goes the same way as the 13, you're okay.

5. Only Sam knows what I'm like when I come home drunk, it's not pretty.

4. No, it's gonna rain all day, take the brolly.

3. 10 real ales, and 5 fake ones.

2. You can sit here for 4 minutes, we're ahead of time, switch off your engine.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She says she speaks Spanish, but I'm convinced she's not quite as convincing as she makes out.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Has Time Been Called On Time Itself In Swindon?

The Town Hall Clock has not chimed for well over a month now.

Are repairs underway, planned, or is Swindon Borough Council about to announce something innovative?

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 279

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He'll never fit under there, you watch.

9. Help your mother for god sake.

8. Do you want a big family? I think they're coming back into fashion.

7. You're not Katie's sister, who use to work in the garage are you?

6. How kind of you, so thoughtful.

5. We could get KFC, I'm totally starving.

4. It was huge, I've never seen one like it, plus there's more of them coming.

3. This is your sort of fun, not my sort.

2. I can borrow as much money as I like and I haven't got to pay it back until sometime in the new Year.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Don't forget that no-one texts any more, it's all about WhatsApp and Snapchat.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 278

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She's behaving very suspiciously.

9. He's not from where I thought, but he doesn't sound like where he is from either.

8. Standby for word from me when it happens.

7. That'll be all you'll get from Deborah, she doesn't tend to say much unless she's in a mood.

6. All this has nothing to do with work so why the hell does she always bring stuff up about her family in the Monday meeting?

5. I got a pastie and one of those cream things, they're a lot to eat, but why not.

4. There are some jobs going, get yourself in there, it's not difficult.

3. I didn't even bother to ring him last week, that was 5 weeks in a row he'd not turned up, seemed like a waste of time.

2. I can't spell it. I only know how you say it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I must have walked for like 10 miles, it took us over an hour.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 277

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can't expect me to pay that much attention to you.

9. Mark, you know Mark, Mark who use to wear the orange t-shirts and didn't care about washing, that one.

8. She's pushing people to the end of their tether.

7. Let's keep it in perspective, it's not as if she is actually stalking you, not yet anyway.

6. The back of Faringdon Road, it backs right onto their.

5. You've got about half an hour, then his phone is going to run out and he's going to be well annoyed.

4. They can't keep the accounts secret, it's a matter of public record.

3. I fall asleep as soon as I get on the settee.

2. Ribena, I mean who actually drinks it, it's so strong, does it stain the inside of the boxes.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Am I on speakerphone, hello everyone on the bus.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 276

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. So I sent him a message to tell him to stop messaging me.

9. Don't judge a book by it's digitally-generated cover.

8. The streets are so narrow you couldn't squeeze a ferret down it.

7. Just because he dresses like a twat, that doesn't mean he's going to be all sweetness and light.

6. A cheque, a cheque, where are you from, the 17th century?

5. When she smiles, it looks like she's got a mouthful of piano keys.

4. Prove that I've not got any underpants on, right now.

3. Your phone never works properly, where did you get it, Wilkinsons?

2. I've had enough of pizzas, they're like cardboard but with less flavour.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Try one, you'll like it... okay maybe you won't.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 275

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I can't tell you now.

9. You'll have to wait, I keep telling you, that's how most things are.

8. I've had this trouble for years, but only recently has it become obvious to others.

7. I was stranded with Maureen, we didn't know what to do, so we waited in the bar for them to come back.

6. Don't get carried away, it's not as if he's the answer to all your problems.

5. It looked like it was backed up all the way, but it was moving quite well, but stacked up.

4. The bottom's dropping out of the direct-sales market, everything's going online.

3. Let's be clear with her and tell her how we feel, I can keep living a lie.

2. Being all friendly when she wants something is fine, but I think she's a cow most of the time.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Keep his full attention, and you can get what you want, if you can press his buttons.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 274

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Not going to believe it unless it gets posted in the feed.

9. Noodles no way, it's got to be pizza my girl.

8. Any help you can give me on that one?

7. Relationships are all well and good, but you can't really expect me to spell it properly.

6. Don't forget the coffee, it's the most important part of the grand plan.

5. It caught fire and they still don't know what caused it.

4. She came in and I explained it and drew a layout of it, then she told Sarah she still didn't understand it, despite it being explained to her one-on-one and given a diagram.

3. Fabulous, it's just what you need for the summer, the scrappy shoes.

2. They went exploring in House of Fraser and still didn't buy anything that they could wear to work.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The most sinister word for a fashion-trend, this slashkini.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 273

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. A veil is never going to work.

9. This is really weird, normally I sit where you're sitting.

8. I feel it'll only work for you and him if you really, really want it to.

7. Don't shout, I'm not going to have a discussion with you if you're going to be like this.

6. Except less and you'll always be surprised.

5. It all started last year when she came back with that sun tan.

4. Mary always struck me as incapable of being in a relationship.

3. The main area of change will be at regional, they have no idea what's coming.

2. I've not had a drink since earlier on, but I can't remember what time it was.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Let's pretend for a minute that I actually care and let's see if Matt actually notices, because I can be really aware actually, despite what he thinks actually.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 272

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I love a good barbecue, make sure there's enough food.

9. I judge people instantly on the state of their eyebrows.

8. They're all too young to care about customer service.

7. They all go out drinking and then shagging each other, then bitch about it in the office the next day.

6. Don't post on Facebook about it, then be surprised when people find out.

5. I love rounders, I think it was the only sport I could actually do at school.

4. If I miss a banana first thing, it throws off my whole day.

3.  No, not crafts for dogs.

2. Did you know I use to work with him on the buses?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's not a lot of Rachel tension in that area of town.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 271

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. No trousers, but three tops.

9. There's no later bus, this is the last one.

8. This ain't working, I'm going to have to replace the whole circuit board.

7. She went out with the kiddie from the shop, just after the staff discount I think.

6. You'd be surprised just how far a shirt and tie can get you.

5. When you think back, who looks like they've not aged?

4. Sarah need to keep Cindy in marketing otherwise accounts will go to pot.

3. Early, early, as required, late, rest day.

2. I've not been near it since they kept us waiting for half an hour, twats.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I can track him on my phone, even when he thinks it's been deactivated, that's progress.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 270

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm not overjoyed.

9. Who'll ever want to buy one of those?

8. If you ask me, it's ridiculous, she'll never make money.

7. I always have breakfast, one packet of crisps and two cans of Monster.

6. Just grab hold of what you want and I'll take care of the rest.

5. Just a minute, how old was this girl then?

4. Those skin tight pants are so much hassle, I'll not bother with them again.

3. James said if I couldn't make a decision, then he was going to make it for me.

2. Macaroni is all well and good, but it's not fancy enough for a fancy meal.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. See the guy with the blue top, I went out with his sister, didn't get anywhere fast.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 269

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. This is a total joke.

9. Jazz's phone has been off all afternoon.

8. This is the first class of buses.

7. I always think buses are a reflection of a town.

6. It's like a secret life with him.

5. Let's remember who came up with the idea first, that's right, the inferior boss.

4. There's not real footage on it, it's all simulated.

3. Why would you want to wear a gold one, makes you look all blingy.

2. Assume Claire knows all about it, what's she going to do,

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I don't know where I am or where I'm going.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Innovative Logos

The logo for what was Swindon Commercial Services, now Public Power Solutions, which is owned by Swindon Borough Council (charged with building the Borough's renewable energy future) :

The Ariel Logo :

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 268

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Who thought of this, rubbish, rubbish, absolute rubbish.

9. When they were bombing Saddam, I was on a mini-break.

8. I just have a feeling you have several sheep lined-up for me.

7. I'm a bit sniffy.

6. When my mum has a party, some of her friends end up sleeping in the dog bed overnight.

5. I'm not thrilled about the idea Darren.

4. Don't give the man false hope, a false appreciation of his body, now that's alright.

3. Next time, try it without the sauce.

2. If a psychology student raises a point in the forrest, do the squirrels strip the carcass?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I've got to go and mist my aspidistra, it's not a euphemism, despite telling people.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

You wait ages for a political bluster and two come along at once

The withdrawal of the no.65 Stagecoach in Swindon service has ruffled some feathers amongst councillors in Swindon Borough Council and South Marston.

South Marston Parish Council complain that they didn't know about the changes until a resident told them. It's clear then that none of the parish councillors use the bus. To then complain they weren't informed discounts that Stagecoach advertised the changes before, in many ways - online, at bus stops, leaflets, new timetables and in the Adver.

Not to miss out making a little hay, Swindon Borough Councillor Heenan has suggested alternatives will be discussed at the next Cabinet meeting.

One thinks, are they only reactive alternatives due to the Adver story? Surely a proactive council would have planned possible alternatives back in March (and announced they were working on them) when Oxfordshire County Council withdrew the main chunk of funding for the 65? Odd that he didn't comment on the improvement to Thamesdown Transport's service through his own constituency, with the renumbered service 1/1A now recreating a cross-town route and increasing to every 10 minutes.

But that decision didn't involve politicians of course, or subsidy.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 267

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The only time I've been on a bus is with you.

9. I'm not going to do it for you, you're a grown adult and I've just shown you the order to push the buttons in, go on, on you go.

8. It wouldn't let me fill out the form, they kept saying it's because you only get a UK birth certificate if you're born in the UK, but no-one told me.

7. They've got vacancies, I'm going for them.

6. When you're a child, you're after that type of validation.

5. You shouldn't be seen wearing those trousers outside of 1988.

4. Fish is most certainly the dish of the day, chippy tonight.

3. Mention that when you text her, that'll win her over.

2. Let's have pasta for tea, I've got some of that garlic bread too, can't beat it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Don't walk away from me, I love you Sandra, I mean Becky, Becky!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 266

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was coming straight towards me, I just froze.

9. There was Kate, Lauren and Sara, they went to Cavvy in the end.

8. You'd not know there were flowers inside by just looking.

7. Did you buy that tape I need, the really strong stuff, impossible to undo.

6. Less than I expected, but I was prepared to go higher.

5. She thinks she's indestructible, she hasn't a clue what people really think.

4. If you lengthen the nearest side, it should become symmetrical.

3. I'm avoiding meat and only really having salads and juices, I feel like I've so much more energy.

2. Don't tell the rest, but Claire is going for Sandra's job and she'll get it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Mark said marriage is about one person being in charge and the other dealing with it, it's a wonder he's single.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Inside the Mechanics Institute

These photos from 2011 show the internal state of the Mechanics' Institute, including the installation of the tin roof by Swindon Borough Council.

These photos are dated 2010, showing the state of the building, with rotting timber, missing stairs and floors and a flooded basement.

Back to the Future on the Buses

Changes proposed by Thamesdown Transport see lots of what was old will be new again.

From the 31st May, the changes will include :

- The 1/1A will now resume it's previous cross-town routing, linking Covingham and Nythe with Middleleaze and Grange Park, which will see the number 2 vanish. This gives East Swindon a 10 minute frequency again, after it being cut down to 15 minutes, then upped to 12 minutes when it's been the number 2. Evening services will go back to a half-hour frequency.

- 13/14 are rerouted after 6pm and all day Sunday via Regent Circus for the new cinema.

- The 15 sees the last service from Wichelstowe withdrawn.

- The 17 and 18 see changes to give Penhill back a 10 minute frequency to Park North and the Park South service is reduced to half-hourly and extended to Coate Water.

- The 20 will be withdrawn as it does not cover it's cost. Strangely, for a bus that doesn't have enough passengers to pay for itself, the withdrawal of it is predicted to cause car park chaos for the GWH staff forced to drive.

All in all, the changes see lots of improvements, or a return to previous service levels, with some commercial flair by rerouting to take advantage of new destinations, but the withdrawal of the 20 is a necessary move, unless Swindon Borough Council want to increase subsidies, don't blame the bus company for it's loss.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 265

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There's so much dirt on all 7 of them, he can make them do what he likes.

9. We should say "no way" to it.

8. You could go to Primark, they've always got those pants, so cheap.

7. I'll fight you right now.

6. Haribo is never as satisfying after you've been eating it for a few minutes than before you started.

5. I did my best, but it wasn't enough for Sarah, she can go and work in Norwich if she wants then.

4. You'll just have to change twice like everyone else.

3. They need a load more casuals, I'll text Steve's number to you.

2. There's more heads of state in town than Lid Dems now.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He got back in and his column sounds like the toady kid at school no-one liked.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 264

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. We've got all manner of sleeves here.

9. It was so bad, I wasn't sure if it was the flu or if it was a hangover.

8. You know when someone eats a McDonalds all their life and they're really skinny even though they eat so unhealthy?

7. They've taken everything, there were no legs left.

6. How much do you weigh after your hols?

5. It had gone all fizzy, it tasted disgusting.

4. How do you expect me to use these without the instructions?

3. You can't get there direct from Bristol so we're going to Juliana's mum's place.

2. It turns out I owe them £400, total con.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Bus full of Tories, I mean, it's even painted blue.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 263

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Come at me fast and with purpose.

9. Coconut water is more overrated than a Green Party soundbite.

8. He's making a complete pig's ear of it.

7. Andy's not got a chance of hearing me over those headphones.

6. I think you're gonna make it, you've got three minutes,

5. The number 1 is your best bet, it's going half-hourly soon.

4. Did this bus even turn up yesterday?

3. It was so late that by the time we got to the main junction everyone who got on thought we were the next one.

2. Have you got two 10 pences I can borrow?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They said the future was paperless, I'm afraid I didn't get that memo.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Do the Mechanics Have Enough Volunteers?

In the recent saga of the Mechanics' Institute, things seem to have shifted to the Mechanics' Institution Trust taking control of several Railway Village buildings, but not the one they want, the Mechanics' Institute itself.

- The Baker's Arms pub (that closed in 2012 after a police raid) is empty and is being eyed-up by the trust as a cafe.

- The Central Community Centre has been given to the trust as the council has been getting rid of it's community centre in recent years.

- The old Railway Museum cottage has been recommended to be given to the trust by the council to run.

- An allotment plot has been given to the trust to run.

The trust was awarded £30,000 by the People's Health Lottery, which saw the hiring of a Community Development Officer in April last year. But a recent interview saw the adver talking to a community development co-ordinator, with no mention of the officer that had been appointed the previous year. A Facebook post on the Central Community Centre page dated 19th September 2014 announces the departure of the Community Development Officer as "the trust have decided to go in a different direction and reshape the Community Development Co-ordinator post". 

What were the differences that caused the job to be filled by the daughter of long-time Mechanics' campaigner Martha Parry?

Plus, does the trust have enough volunteers to run the pub, the community centre, the cottage, the allotment and have people working on getting control of the Mechanics' Institute itself?

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 262

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I wouldn't call that a crowd, more an annoyance.

9. She was on the last one last night, she looked a right state.

8. There's no more room, next one's right behind.

7. Oh no, look at that, it's all over the seat, move.

6. You looked better with the black one on, that one's going to get dirty so quickly.

5. He text and said how he couldn't stop thinking about me, bit desperate.

4. Do you go right at the shops, or straight on and across the roundabouts?

3. There's going to be a buffet lunch, I'll go if it's decent.

2. Martin keeps that hat on no matter what time of year it is.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I mean, you don't know who he's shagging when you're stood next to him.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 261

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. So what does that matter? He's still got my phone,

9. I pay you 260 quid, then you pay me back for what you owe after the last lot.

8. She lives way over Moredon, I always get lost on the way.

7. That's not fun, it's just what you've got to do.

6. Upstairs is the way to go.

5. Standby for something sarcastic and not very funny.

4. Away we go to the shops.

3. James didn't bring those tissues, just use her sleeve.

2. I wouldn't do that, there's too many by the doors.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He caused a tailback all along Great Western Way, top way to get everyone to vote.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 260

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Keep that quinoa for Jess, she's a fan.

9. I've never heard such a racket in my life.

8. Let's make sure it works, otherwise what's the point of wearing these shoes with it.

7. I went in and got my tins, and all my frozen stuff, it's so cheap, you'd never believe it.

6. Si thinks I need just let Connor find his own way, but it's driving me nuts.

5. It was nose to tail all the way back to the roundabout, I was an hour late at the end.

4. No, they can't go under Whitehouse Bridge, wish they'd just lower it.

3. She didn't press the bell, moaned at me, but then stayed on until we came back round the loop.

2. The wind was so strong it blew the carrier clean out of her hand, landed in the drain.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. If this keeps up, it'll be quicker every time to just walk, bloody, sodding joke.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 259

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. If I swap this battery, that should give you a bit more.

9. She's sitting there, no her.

8. I bought four and I might keep them for meself.

7. Jason said we'd go all the way to his mum's for the weekend, but I don't fancy going all that way, might persuade it to be Burnham instead.

6. That Poldark's rubbish, all the accents are watered down.

5. If you lined them up, I couldn't pick that one who's left out of them, all look like fake boy band members, no distinguishing features.

4. But if she never married then he's not entitled to anything she might leave behind.

3. The traffic was so heavy I even considered walking, but then I passed the time with a tube of Pringles.

2. The egg was huge, I'm expecting a small group of chocolate people inside it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. No, you can't use a double decker, it'll hit the bridge, then we'll never keep to time.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 258

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He didn't reckon on my pants being that colour.

9. No, I don't believe it, you have no clue.

8. You've got to remember that their mortgage is way too big, even for Paul and Sandie at the top of the road.

7. I was being kind and it was just thrown back at me.

6. We went to the cinema, it was rubbish, can't stand going with her, she talks all the way through.

5. Have you seen they're shut the road, bloody ridiculous.

4. Two more trips on this then I'm off for two weeks.

3. He despatched two pallets without getting it signed off, I don't think they'll keep him.

2. Get 4 more stamps and I can get a ready toasted sandwich, but I prefer the salads.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm making the point that you can't expect anyone to care about the accounts, it's not a sexy department like marketing.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 257

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. If I were you, I'd stick to the blue cover, they had that in Made In Chelsea.

9. Did you think she wouldn't notice, it was on Facebook.

8. I left before Claire arrived with her cats from sales.

7. I must inform you that you're very wrong.

6. I've defaulted the jumper, it's the best I can do.

5. We went out for drinks, then I drove her home, to Covingham.

4. I was nearly late, but then I put my easier shoes on.

3. He always sits in that seat, OCD?

2. They're going to buy one for the other depot, should make them less pissy.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm getting ready for summer, diet has started, dug out the sunglasses and I've bought loads of new underwear.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Wheels off simple project in several Swindon Skating Moves

It appears West Swindon councillors are nursing grazed knees as the ability to deliver a small local project is beyond them.

The proposed-skate park in West Swindon at Rivermead is to be tendered again after the contractor increased the cost. Not surprising when councillors decide it should be built on a piece of open space prone to flooding.

Having discounted the views of children who will be a chunk of the users, you can't expect skaters of voting age to have much confidence in councillors to get the project done any time soon.

The 'no brainer' option would to be to have it at the Link Centre and have written the proposal into the contracts the council agreed with GLL, it's now operator.

Swindon Centric Says ; But then, if SBC councillors can't get GLL to answer their phone, what hope is there for contract writing or concrete-mixing in the Tory-blue wards of West Swindon?

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 256

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He reads women's magazines and talks loudly about it, over-compensating.

9. There's no need to show in Tesco, Aldi have it all and it's more interesting.

8. They did need a drink after, Sarah said he left with that woman.

7. Bad news, he's moving to business investment, bad if you own a business.

6. If there was more time I'd have bought at least another two pairs of shoes, it's only for a long weekend, but I do love me shoes.

5. I watched that film about Stephen Hawking, pretty good, he deserved the Oscar.

4. Clarkson's done nothing wrong, I'd have been angry at cold ham after a day's hard presenting.

3. Dangerous that the only way of accessing the turning is to cut across two lines of manic traffic.

2. Keep them in the Primark bag, then you can hand them over when we get off.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Turn left at the roundabout, follow it to the petrol station then right and you'll see the first stop, but it's behind two massive conifers, so you might have to get out and go and check first.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 255

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Read that memo that was stuck up, then forget all about it.

9. I'm not questioning your choice, but it's stupid and you know it Sharon.

8. There's not change, not for years now, when did you last go?

7. They didn't think much of her presentation, it was mainly about her and nothing about hiring policy.

6. Would you credit their chances of winning that contract?

5. Nandos, sick, totally sick.

4. Toasters need to be less complicated and stop it burning.

3. It's really sensitive, but I'm not putting any pressure on it to give some relief.

2. Keep it in that bag, then we can swap over when we get back, otherwise it'll go everywhere and this is quite a posh bus.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Ironically, Tash was seen out with him again at the same restaurant she took Mark last year, no shame.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 254

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You'll never get away with this.

9. Bullying isn't being properly dealt with.

8. That was a narrow escape, no salad for me.

7. I'm going to go for the first half an hour then head off.

6. Mol said I'd have to ring him first and see exactly what it was that she was so bothered by.

5. Wink at him and I'm sure there'll be more to come later.

4. Two sausage rolls and a cream horn, I didn't have any breakfast.

3. Where did he go? He was on the 13 when we got on at college.

2. It's a two-minute walk from where they live now, a lot nicer.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He said they're going to move into the shop next door soon and start selling the full range again as they're still only to be imported and not made in the UK.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 253

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I don't expect him to understand wearing that.

9. This is very serious, I only eat the unsalted ones.

8. That app is a rip off, it just gives you reviews of all the other apps.

7. There is no golf course in Surrey he's not been to and failed at each one.

6. I've done my part, it's up to Sue now to decide if she wants it built on the street side or in the loft.

5. Lowest at £1, but it just falls apart after a week or too and in the right light, it's see-through.

4. We'll end up with an office full of 10 year olds that haven't heard of negative equity.

3. Maybe if you moved your workspace to Manchester you'd get more support from the divisional office.

2.  I think that's a very good idea, I'll make sure he wears his full length ones on the holiday and see what difference it makes.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I can't remember a worse time since Clive use to come into work and lear over my asset management desk. I use to use a wet-wipe to clean up afterwards.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 252

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. No it's misty, that's not smoke.

9. In the interview she kept referring to KPIs, all I could think of was KP nuts.

8. I've not had these crisps since you could buy them in the canteen.

7. He's got crap all over his desk, their apartment must be like a tip.

6. What an undercut, knobber.

5. No the other side, over where you'd turn off for Eldene, he lives there, but it's a lot bigger than you'd imagine, you could park a tank on his front drive.

4. Too me ages to look like this, I tried on four pairs of trousers.

3. He wanted to keep things casual, so I've not seen him for a week.

2. Try to keep it to yourself, but I'm leaving after the next set of sales results.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Can you remember a time where you didn't care about your iPhone?

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 251

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You smell of bacon.

9. Give me that back you thieving thief.

8. I tapped, unwrapped and then felt massively guilty.

7. I keep my ID badge in the same pocket as my minstrels, pastels, and weight watchers card.

6. Have a merry new year, or whatever it is.

5. That's exactly why when you asked me to come over, I pretended to be fixing the fridge.

4. I posted it on Facebook, no-one could be arsed to comment on it, so I've gone off grid.

3. Talking of Fiona, how long did you know her before she started to be a cow?

2. There he is, look, there, now!

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I play 1, 2, 6, 7, 18, 19 and 49, never won a single thing.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 250

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can't, there's cameras.

9. If she wants me to work she'll have to really get it together, I'm not standing in the cold holding a tray again.

8. No, this does usually go that way, but the road's shut, so it's going back the way it use to go before I dyed my hair.

7. I've got one more of these, two hours off, then, who knows.

6. But it's what I'm truly passionate about, I just love Twitter.

5. He's newly divorced, but I think it's going to be good, I mean he can spend more time with his girlfriend now.

4. Don't think that gives you the right to do and say what you want just because I'm not with you.

3. There's little doubt in my mind that we're on the wrong bus.

2. I can't call him, what would I say? "Hi, I saw your arms on a poster at work and want you to hold me with them"?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I never go upstairs, I'm always worried the height and motion will make me seasick, plus stairs never agree with me.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Why Swindon's Mayor Needs to Go Now

The council has reported that the Mayor of Swindon needs to apologise for his comments and undergo training.

The Mayor has responded Mayor has responded by saying he shouldn't have used a word and will consider his position.

The mayoral position is usually a ceremonial one, with the post being a 'first citizen' that represents the people of a town to the wider world on official occasions.

The individual chosen is representing every single person in Swindon, from worried Honda employers, demoralised council workers, teachers in schools, retired Plessey folk, the 18 year old who's desperate for work, to the new family that have moved to Swindon because it seemed like a decent place.

That person needs to have conduct of the highest order, to be fair, tolerant, passionate, respectful, sociable, and to have the deepest of respect for the people of Swindon.

Does that describe Mayor Nick Martin?

He needs to go for the sake of the civic pride of our town.

Swindon Political Sense Takes a Walk In The (Lydiard) Park

Swindon Labour claim Swindon Borough Council may be about to sell off Lydiard Park

Swindon Conservatives claim that's entirely false.

This Swindon Borough Council document proves that the ownership status of Lydiard Park (along with Steam, Stanton Park, Coate Water and the Platform) is up in the air in an effort to make them pay their way.

Swindon Centric Says : Is the ownership of Swindon's Crown Jewels a line that simply cannot be crossed for some politicians, Tory, Labour or Lib Dem? Looks like we're about to find out.

Will Swindon's May election be won or lost on who will not sell Lydiard?

Partnership Working - The Sop for Swindon's Budget Cuts

Whether it's the Big Conversation, or the One Swindon Partnership, Swindon Borough Council seems eager to keep making a lot of getting by with very little.

In the run-up to the 2010 General Election, much was made of how government departments and agencies would need to work closer, sharing budgets, staff, equipment and more as budget cuts were coming. This policy was embraced strongly by Swindon Borough Council with both arms, as they rushed to work out how to save £15 million from one year to the next. Much was made of moving the council towards just being an 'enabler' (which sounds creepy) that would let contracts to companies to do all the jobs the local authority had previously carried out.

Another main plank was getting departments of the council, it's 'partners' (mainly it's hugely contracted-to-do-everything Capita and Swindon Commercial Services) and even, in the longer term, other neighbouring local authorities, to work in partnership to provide service and projects.

It seems even nearly 4 years later, if the word 'partnership' can be tacked onto anything, no matter how unnecessary the service or project, it's elevated to a solid level of respectability. However there's a big problem that's now being hit and that's money.

Getting departments and organisations to get to know each other and build up local knowledge is fine and should be encouraged, but trying to squeeze the same amount of productivity as pre-2010 from a council that has mostly part-time staff, tiny departments and have lost much of their local knowledge is trying to simply deny the simple truth.

If you want greater productivity and a council that plans properly for the future, we need to spend money on it. Otherwise all that'll be left is a person manning a telephone desk and a warehouse full of orange paint.

Are their any councillors arguing for investment into council manpower? Strategies and partnerships don't empty the bins.

Swindon's Buses : Our Local Councillors' Political Panic Room

If you catch the bus in Swindon, whether it's Stagecoach, Thamesdown, Wilts and Dorset, or even National Express, you may not have realised that your method of transport has become a political safe ground for the town's politicians.

Since the reduction in bus subsidy locally by Swindon Borough Council and the reduction in the Bus Service Operator Grant, the attitude of councillors towards this method of transport has become something to observe.

But even back in May 2010, we got an early warning of what was to come in terms of councillors attitude (http://swindoncentric.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/omnibus-obfuscation.html).

However, after the cutting of carparking charges in the town centre and the rise in people walking through the town centre, those two events were linked as cause and effect. Something that was not taken into account included businesses taking car parking spaces for their employees (that would also show up as a 'shopper' in the council view of things, with an office worker walking past the cameras recording the numbers whilst doing their Monday to Friday '9 to 5') and the number of 'shoppers' traveling to and from the town centre by bus (or indeed train).

Why was the effect of bus travel on town centre footfall not distinguished? It could be the love-hate relationship that Swindon Borough Council appear to have with their own bus company, Thamesdown Transport. Don't forget, the council own Thamesdown Transport. Love, because in the good times, it can generate a welcomed income for the council and the fallback is always available of selling TT if things get really bad and we build even more roads to nowhere at Wichelstowe and we suddenly have to really pay for them. And hate because councillors can (and indeed have been doing a lot recently) of faux outrage when TT announce a proposed change to a bus route to keep themselves in the black. 

These route changes wouldn't be needed if Swindon Borough Council hadn't decided to cut it's bus subsidy in half from £400,000 to £200,000 to balance it's books. What's made worse is that councillors continue to play politics as they 'battle' to save services that everyone knows don't have a hope in hell's chance of lasting commercially because there aren't enough passengers.

But instead of explaining that the only way to keep them running is to put council subsidy into them, councillors rally against the bus companies (including Thamesdown, which the council and therefore every single taxpayer in Swindon owns) and blame the big bad bus companies!

So once and for all, Swindon councillors, stop cutting bus subsidies for unprofitable routes and then blaming the bus company when they can't make it pay it's way with a handful of passengers a day and need to close it.

The town, it's bus passengers and especially all those staff at Thamesdown Transport deserve better transport politics than using the bus as your political safe ground.

Arse!

At least in the Swindon Twitter storm, this wasn't said.

Wi-Failed : Double-Feature Coming Soon!

The accounts of Swindon's drunken dalliance with the money black-hole Digital City (they promised to bring us all free wi-fi and unlock a money-making machine and, well, it didn't happen, but they did spend all their money, but on what exactly?) will soon be published.

Get. The. Popcorn.

Superfast Wi-Fi Cover Is Here

That's right! After ages of waiting, the ultimate flack cover for the pesky business deal that went south is now here.

It'll resemble the first deal in nearly no respects, but because of it's flexible ability to be spun in any direction required, this non-feature will never be noticed (subject to beta testing). That's right, don't delay, call today and order your superfast broadband flack cover!

By The Numbers on Honda and BMW

A statistical analysis of North Swindon MP Justin Tomlinson's weekly column from the Swindon Advertiser about the Honda news.

Frequency of works and phrases within the column -

I = 4

We = 7

Investment = 6

Manufacturing = 4

Debt = 1

Reckless = 1

Financial Sector = 1

Our = 5

Skilled = 2

Jobs = 2

Recession = 0

By The Numbers on Croft School

A statistical analysis of Swindon Borough Council Leader Rod Bluh's weekly column from the Swindon Advertiser in which he defends the construction of the new Croft Primary School.

Frequency of words and phrases within the column -

I = 4

We = 7

OFSTED = 1

Children = 5

Class Solutions = 0

Business Opportunity = 0

Consultation = 0

Cost Overrun = 0

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 249

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. That foot of yours will have to go.

9. I see no reason we can't have pasta tonight. But I'd prefer a curry.

8. Your afternoon has been rather terrifying.

7. She was asked to return after it had gone back to it's usual size.

6. Mousy, tousled, that type of thing.

5. There's no internal dialogue, I mean I did have my earphones on at that point.

4. Less is very much more, but only on spec.

3. There's no philosophy connected with it, it's just money-grabbing.

2. He's a lot smaller, but that does make him quicker in several respects.


And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Your teeth can't itch, it's the same rubbish people talk about having your heart in your mouth, unless you're eating haggis.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 248

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. This was totally what he warned me would happen even without me sleeping with him.

9. Let me just test out that theory on my thighs, I'll see how I get on.

8. It's an original jumper before they started moving production to Asia and everything was made out of crumbly thread.

7. Round up those paper-thin people from accounts and get them drunk.

6. Zaha is that woman I use to go to zumba with before she got thin.

5. It's not a new one, but it will do I suppose.

4. Imagine for a minute I care about what you're saying, just for a minute.

3. You can't brag about those shoes, look at them, they're not fit to be seen in the dark in.

2. No potatoes have gone up and I'm always at a loose end with them.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I can't prove the moon orbits the earth, but like Mike and his wandering eyes, I know it happens.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Reinventing the Portakabin

The discussions about the Croft School centre on one fact that has not been clearly established.

Has Swindon Borough Council built an unnecessary school in a district that didn't need one with decisions that were influenced by it's commercial interests in the building methods of the structure?

Swindon Centric Says ; As today's Swindon Advertiser editorial comment says, "It would be nice if the people who paid for the school were deemed important enough to be told the truth".

More about Class Solutions (the modular school building design that Croft is the testbed for) and whether it smells of Digital City in a future post.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 247

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He needs to be kept in check, follow him at lunchtime.

9. It won't be as easy as you make out.

8. I'm not telling you what to tell him, I'm just giving my side of the story.

7. Not very flattering, but I can't understand why you're that bothered by it all.

6. Does Sarah have a coloured baby? Does she have a brown baby?

5. Well I can't do that with these swollen fingers, can I?

4. There are no legal grounds for it's suppression.

3. Steam it open, no one will know, or care.

2. Starting a war is never a business growth move in telesales.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She looked like she'd have been happier sitting in a chair, with a damp cloth on a her face and someone rubbing her feet.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 246

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's character building, like divorce.

9. They're brothers but everyone knows he was adopted, meanwhile he was an accident.

8. Everyone had to deal with sore balls, until you get that cream.

7. It's worth £4 each, or 2 for £8.

6. Forget bonding, I had a cracking night on my own with a takeaway.

5. His flat is all well and good, but you can't retire on it can you?

4. There's fire in it, but that might just be the lactic acid.

3. You've never used the word 'medaled' before.

2. Put Sarah down, she does not want to be moved like that.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1.Dressage? Dressage? No idea what it is, but I'm drawn to watch it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Sunday Satire

Just a bit of fun.

The Councillor Scorecard

The engagement of residents in local politics is something that only often reaches a critical mass on single-issues.

What will it take to engage people day-to-day?

This question sits uncomfortably alongside that of the effectiveness and efficiency of local councillors. As Swindon Centric has talked about, too often local councillors consist of a wide-range of abilities, motivations and interpersonal skills. A way to get councillors who only seem to surface from their sleep at election time is to make them take ownership of their ward.

Why not create a scorecard for each ward, using some simple housekeeping targets? What percentage of streetlights don't work? The level of cleanliness, with scores for graffiti, litter, dumped rubbish, the quality of street furniture and more. Councillors would not be set targets, but monthly totals could be kept and be easily accessible via the Swindon Borough Council website. This would make councillors be responsible (truly take ownership) for 'their patch', would get them out on the streets of the voters who they represent and would give them first hand 'shop-front' experience of reporting defective services and see that report through to the problem being resolved.

This would not be a replacement for residents reporting problems themselves, but many people do not seem to even know they can report a raft of issues for quick fixes, especially the Council's Streetsmart service simply and quickly by phone and email.

Swindon Centric Says ; This would truly give residents the ability to see how committed councillors are to their wards.

UPDATED : I'd like to see a set of figures each month covering those 'basic standards' (percentage of working street lights, graffiti tags logged and cleaned, rubbish dumping logged and cleared, etc). The onus would be put on councillors that they should take an active role in reporting these and reducing them in their wards, walking a 'beat' and noting down what needs doing and reporting it to Streetsmart for rectifying.

The community clean-up days we see most wards have occurring once a year gets councillors a nice shot of publicity, but this type of 'roll up your sleeves' should be a daily, second-nature attitude. Keeping a tally on the 'housekeeping' in each ward would give an indication as to how active your councillor is.

The Whalebridge Breaks the Surface

The entire top surface of the Whalebridge junction has been removed months after it was laid following the removal of the junction roundabout.

Why?

We've seen the traffic queues, the diverting of traffic round the court, the non-finishing off of grass verges, the inconsistent pedestrian crossing standards with lack of buttons and the piss-poor light phasing. Yet nothing has been done about this.

But now we see the tarmac surface and all road markings gone, why? Was it poorly laid?

Swindon Centric Says ; Get someone from Serco to re-phase the lights, scatter some grass seed in the muddy verges, put pelican crossings in all of the crossings points, not just some and until the regrading of Fleming Way starts, allow all traffic to turn west into Fleming Way from Whalebridge.

The entire population of 209,000 people will be entirely thankful.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 245

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I suspect you're right, but will pretend you're wrong.

9. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

8. Just 'cos you've got a smartcard, don't act like it's a gold-plated iPad.

7. Yeah but she's a slapper, the whole street knows it, they've all had her.

6. Have you seen Burn Notice? I stream them online, totally illegal but it's quicker than waiting for them.

5. I've done four of these already, want to swap?

4. I smacked her in the mouth, I didn't use my fists, I used my sarcasm.

3. Try seeing what the cuts will do to their I.T. department, less screens and attitude from them for a start.

2. Stare right down there and you can see all the way to the top of the hill.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They've got the heating on, are they trying to kill me or grow tomatoes?

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses (Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last) Last Week ; 244

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He has the charm of a Lib Dem front-bencher.

9. Wearing pink socks does not make you wild.

8. She stared the entire time, never seen somebody that thin before.

7. I'll buy you a coffee, I haven't the money for a tequila shot.

6. Can you get blue tomatoes?

5. You have a smaller interest in Sally than I thought.

4. Should have left it at home, I told you, didn't I tell you?

3. I'm not interested, just buy me a pair of jeans and be done with it.

2. Does it go to Liden? Does it, I thought Liden was near Oxford.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Don't even reckon on me turning up, I'd just come in, smack two people from the main office in the face, take all the free drinks I'm allowed, and walk out.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Swindon's Very Own Shock Doctrine

The stateside version of this, with some variances, covered on MSNBC's The Rachel Maddow Show

If your streetlights have been broken for an age and the graffiti on your walls has now got moss growing on it, it could because of Swindon Councillors subscribing to the 'Shock Doctrine'.

The theory by-which governments push through major neo-conservative policies (privatisation, liberalisation of constraints on industry, simplifying government processes, etc) when a citizenry is in 'shock' from a disaster has and is happening in Swindon.

The disaster? The financial crisis, the credit crunch, the following recession, stalled recovery and now double-dip recession.

We're constantly being told, and have been, by the ruling councillors at Swindon Borough Council that there is not any money for basic services in the way they have been provided before.

How has this policy been followed? There's so many to mention -

- The privatisation of Swindon Commercial Services (the works department of the Council, now run to make a profit and wholly owned by Swindon Borough Council as an investment interest).

- The spinning-off of adult social care in Swindon to another organisation.

- The cutting back of hundreds of front-line staff in Swindon Borough Council, from libraries to park rangers.

- The administration of benefits to Swindon residents now provided by Capita, not Swindon Borough Council.

- The attempted privatisation of Swindon's entire assets of it's Council Housing stock. This was prevented after a vote by council house tenants.

- To a derived point, the Wi-Failed scheme. One of the numerous reasons given for the scheme was that the council now had to look at ways of producing revenue (making money).

- The latest, the transfer of green spaces to house-building companies.

- The transfer of the Oasis leisure centre and a chunk of land at North Star to a private investment company to refurbish the centre and build a snow dome and other leisure facilities, to be operated by them and not Swindon Borough Council.

Swindon Centric Says ; The constant banging of this drum of 'if we don't reduce our deficit it'll come and attack you in a lonely alleyway' is spin, as Swindon Borough Council seem happy-enough to run up record debts building infrastructure at Wichelstowe.

Why are Swindon Borough Councillors happy to spend money on easy things like roads and paths to tempt house builders, but won't work hard to come up with a detailed, costed, long-term, council-funded plan to rebuild assets?

Have our councillors become lazy and unknowledgeable? For Swindon, it should be renamed The Shock and Lazy Doctrine.

Swindon Gives Away The Crown Jewels

Is giving a private company Swindon's Oasis Leisure Centre, in return for it's refurbishment and substantial expansion the only option, or an austerity-cloaked privatisation?

The plan for a Snowdome at the Oasis North Star area is not new and the fact it's reached this far is great news. But is the part of the deal that the company concerned, Morai Capital Investments, will be allowed to build this leisure addition, in return for full modernisation of the Oasis, too high a price to pay?

And the Swindon Card you may own? That won't be usable at the Oasis any more.

In the same way that the street light switch-off was spun that it would save us substantial amounts of money in the long-term, what the real story consists of, is our local authority getting out of having to worry about the town's infrastructure. The 'saving' councillors talked about concerning the lights was actually the cost of replacing the lights, as the areas in question included street lights which were rapidly approaching the end of their working lives. The spin about the lights being in areas 'it wasn't thought they would be much needed', or the environmental benefits, was just that, spin.

A 'get-it-off-our-books-as-quickly-as-you-can' attitude.

Swindon Centric Says ; Were the options of direct capital investment from Swindon Borough Council even looked at? Did the council even research taking out loans to modernise the town's assets? If they did, are these documents available for us to see please?

Time for a Freedom of Information Request maybe?

The Mayor of Simpleton

 How strange it would be if the Queen was to vote in a Commons or Lords situation, shaking the foundations of the system.

On a local level, that's about to happen in Swindon.

The Conservative Group have a majority of one in the recent local council elections, which means in the event of a tie, the Mayor (which is largely a ceremonial position, despite the selected mayor being an elected councillor) will, like-never-before, be called upon to cast the deciding vote. The new Mayor, Councillor Mick Bray (Conservative, of the Lydiard and Freshbrook ward) may find it increasingly difficult to justify his position as he votes on issues in the council chamber one moment, then remains non-political whilst grinning for the cameras and having cake at his official mayor duties the next.

 Swindon Centric Says ; We live in interesting times.

Wi-Failed : Digital City Boss Paid £82,000 of Our Money

The boss of Swindon Borough Council-funded Digital City was paid £82,000 for 'coaching fees' during his tenure. The news is in today's Swindon Advertiser, a link to come later.

The company was set up to provide Borough-wide Wi-Fi access through an initial £400,000 loan from Swindon Borough Council.

The company failed to meet a single target and is dead in the water.

Swindon Centric Says ; Disgusting, shameful. To paraphrase a previously used line, if you stand on the top of the David Murray John Building (where Digital City were given free offices by Swindon Borough Council), on a clear day you can see a democratic council.