Sunday, June 03, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 420

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Were you to be as thin as me we wouldn't be having this conversation.

9. No she's not German but she wants everyone to think that.

8. If it's the World Cup I can forgive that.

7. It's the second stop after that freezer shop with the funny doors.

6. Our cat keeps vanishing for weeks, coming back and smelling of polish.

5. They reckon they'll close, sack everyone, then reopen on cheaper contracts.

4. There's only 20 minutes left now.

3. No, Michelle and I went to Subway, that must have been where we lost you.

2. Where they've reopened it's much bigger, but it hasn't got much atmosphere.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Quinoa isn't all it's cracked up to be when you've got it three days in a row.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 419

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a surge of a kind.

9. That's not a noise, that's a whimper.

8. It's a peak and I think no.

7. Charges are going to be brought you know.

6. A pasty that heats itself up, that's the future.

5. Malcom keeps his pants on even in the shower.

4. If I give him a packet of crisps he keeps quiet for the morning.

3. The prosecco went flat, but it tasted better.

2. That Sharon needs to be more subtle when it comes to her wedding hats.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The fact of the matter is, he doesn't believe in his children.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 418

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You totally ruined the mood with your choice of shoes.

9. It's his birthday, I swear he has two a year.

8. The garden rake has gone walks again, I shall have to speak to my mother.

7. This is the way the world is now, or at least at the moment.

6. In 1976 I lost the end of my middle finger, look.

5. My book would be all about my shameful attitude towards dark chocolate.

4. Hopefully he won't turn up to the wedding dressed in a Nazi outfit.

3. Never been good at figures, I think it stems from having a calculator on my phone.

2. If we all go to protest it'd terrify the living daylights out of them.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I don't want to be married to a supermodel, I want to be married to you.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 06, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 417

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He really went out of his way to be helpful.

9. Jess was lovely, but she put on her coat and things started to turn.

8. You can do my job and we'll see just how much you really know.

7. It's named after that latch we had in the kitchen.

6. There was nowhere to park, so we didn't bother going in.

5. There was a chicken curry but it tasted like cake.

4. It wasn't stolen, it was left behind and they never came back for it.

3. I popped in and everyone was in, so I stayed and we had a great old time.

2. Didn't he turn up at her leaving do bragging about his decking?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You can't get much lower than me.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, May 04, 2018

Swindon Election - Within a Hair's Breadth

Labour came within touching distance of taking control of Swindon Borough Council last night, but it was no cigar for the reds.

They did claim a significant piece of turf, taking another seat in the Eastcott ward, out of an area the Lib Dems often claim to be their Swindon home (that home now very small, a bedsit room in an Eastcott HMO probably).

But the yellow's did win in Wroughton & Wichelstowe from the Conservatives, showing that the retired, wealthy blue voters over the M4 can't always be relied upon.

So there is now a one seat Tory majority Swindon Borough Council. Full results here.

Labour will now be pinning their hopes on a by-election that they can gain a seat and the council by.

Any families or gardens out there that need to have more time spent with them?

Anyone?

Wednesday, May 02, 2018

Swindon Election : The Tory Legacy - The Monetisation of Swindon

If the Tories lose their majority on Swindon Borough Council tomorrow it'll mark the passing of an era that's a microcosm of Conservative national policy on one location.

Ultimately it'll mark the passing of the era that shifted from a full-service local authority to the tendering-out of much of it's function, then as the financial crisis started to bite the spinning-off of various remaining parts in an effort to make them profit-centres for SBC. Realising that was impossible for most parts and the cost of bringing them back in house and the final incarnation, an SBC cut back to beyond the bone, with vital bits missing, operating barely with minimal or no financial support and an entire absence of experience and knowledge from it's senior officers.

It saw a body of politicians so out of touch with it's own electorate (scared? Probably) that it imposed a new level of local bureaucracy (parish councils) to offload services and itemise the parish precept to them with explaining it away with "you're paying more because there's a parish now" despite the idiocy of many Borough councillors also now being Parish councillors at the same time.

The loss of economies of scale in contracting, purchasing and administration mean you are paying more and you are getting less, be in no doubt. This advert shows nearly £26,000 for a deputy parish clerk in one parish, plus they'll need an office, a PC, printer/photocopier, a website, I.T. support...

That's not even mentioning wringing cash out of Thamesdown Transport in the good years, then turning face and saying it was responsible when councillors chose to cut bus subsidy to lightly-used routes that could never be commercially run. Then of course selling it off in the end.

Then there's the £400,000 they gave to a businessman and we never saw again, the closure of Sure Start Centres, the axe swung in Dial-a-Ride's direction, the shock-doctrine threatened closure of all the town's libraries (except one), the Lydiard Park cock-up but the continued subsidy to Steam, the sacrifice of land around Coate Water, the roads to nowhere for a decade at Wichelstowe, the privatisation of Swindon Commercial Services (then that being reversed), the spinning-off of adult social care (SEQOL), the bizarre situation where they sponsored the town's half marathon, then it's return to council ownership, and on and on and on.

None of the above was inevitable, councillors get to choose what happens when they run a town, the choices may be limited in some situations, but they still exist.

Swindon has a choice tomorrow, we can choose to have a town with a council who's officers and politicians truly are the servants of the people. Or we can carry on like this.

The choice is ours.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 416

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. That's the wrong sprinkler to think of to use.

9. It was coned off, so I moved the cones and went straight through.

8. I expect he got a meal deal, he's got no imagination.

7. Most of my boys all wear the same thing.

6. Soon we'll get to the corner and they'll all pile on.

5. No, when they pulled it down the sign vanished too.

4. Who's Fleming anyway?

3. That's not the pasty I expected.

2. I only give out my screen name to people I know will get me into trouble.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Once I use to be 21 and that ended in disaster.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 415

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You're doing very well to keep your balance.

9. This usually goes the other way, but today it goes this way.

8. A smart shirt is all it takes.

7. The effort is very little when you factor it in.

6. I'll be realistic and you can continue to kid yourself.

5. When the sun comes out the awful tattoos get to say hello.

4. No-one's said anything, but he is actually breaking the law.

3. So, your mother, has she always been like that?

2. I can recite the entire Star Wars films, now which order shall I do them in?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Last time he did a barbecue we all needed up off work with food poisoning.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 414

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Keep it realistic, no one wears those anymore.

9. Peanuts should be outlawed for being so incredibly boring.

8. I expect nothing less from you.

7. I hid behind the door and waited until they'd gone away.

6. Once they finish at that junction they start on the other one which finishes just in time for my retirement.

5. Honda are not going to hang around if it doesn't get sorted.

4. They swarmed, then I ran, then I woke up.

3. Cheese should taste less gritty than that.

2. Mule heels are hell, just pure hell, sent from the devil to kill my feet.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We can't decide what to get them until we know their colour-scheme.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 08, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 413

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You really have to prove yourself if you take it like that.

9. There's no gin let, I'm telling you.

8. It's not true that those pants are her pants.

7. Originally it was done on the stage, in New York I believe, or Gloucester.

6. You've dredged the bottom now.

5. She never looks you in the eye, which I find very off-putting.

4. It doesn't matter how many times you ask me.

3. I really don't fancy that on today of all days.

2. Subway is where you go when you can't think of anywhere better go for lunch.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Since I've stopped my nose doesn't tingle any more.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 01, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 412

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's the second generation being far quicker than before.

9. The invention itself will be laughably slow.

8. He stayed in bed all day when I was on my way to the airport.

7. There's nothing sexy about a bus journey.

6. But Easter is all about eggs, eggs made of cheese.

5. Her and her boyfriend spend their nights out looking at their own phones.

4. My clothes don't seem to last as long as they did.

3. France nearer than you think, it takes longer sometimes to get across Bristol.

2. If I got the kingfisher on a wire, how would I put it in the garden and make it stand out?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Well if it goes wrong, I can just get divorced.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 411

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Lets keep thinking of ways I can make him understand what I mean.

9. But there's no chocolate about.

8. If that news comes out then it's game over for them.

7. He always brings it at the last moment and never takes it away for months.

6. She'll come round and she'll just sit and drink tea and not help.

5. I don't think they'll be able to sell them at the current price.

4. It's not mid-Victorian.

3. This dress keeps creasing in the wrong places.

2. Running it themselves looks like a plan for disaster.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Worse case scenario, I fall off and die they think.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 410

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. We need to spread it around.

9. It keeps cropping up now and again.

8. It's not a skirt, but it says it is.

7. I've got me Jaffa Cakes, so I'm all set.

6. I couldn't believe how warm it was, I put on my thin coat.

5. He only wears branded-underpants.

4. Holistically is a business word for not properly solving the problem.

3. But Tesco always leaves me with a sour taste.

2. I wouldn't really call Kingshill a hill, more a mound.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's a critical relationship.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 409

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There's no evidence to suggest anyone knows.

9. Talent, what talent?

8. The wallet was empty, so I just took my cards with me.

7. This is a total joke.

6. Social, I really hate it, it's not social at all when you really think about it.

5. Except for the details in the email, I think it's a front for trouble.

4. We're a long way from negotiations.

3. I keep bumping into her at the bus station, it's very awkward.

2. It buzzes even when I just turn it from upright to side on.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. But it's so shiny I have to cover it up at night.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 04, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 408

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You really do not understand how a person's brain works.

9. Not many people know my mate Paul.

8. I've never seen one like this before.

7. We're not going to get there straight away, it'll take some time.

6. It's not a soft drink, it's got alcohol in it.

5. It's not a leading name, I mean, I don't know it.

4. Recalling it is quite difficult now.

3. Both ends of the same thing can be seen at once.

2. There was an earthquake, but I was surprised nothing happened afterwards.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. This is my world, this is where I belong.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 407

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Luke is my friend and no-one else's.

9. Stop taking about biscuits, who really cares?

8. You really should go to hospital with that thing.

7. Let's remember what happened last time with those leggings.

6. I thought they looked far better on the model.

5. Keep that quiet, I don't want Gaz finding out about it all.

4. I'm in a home at the moment, but that's just temporary.

3. This will only work until you decide to change things and not take it anymore.

2. There's a person sat over there who looks right shifty.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Where are we anyway? I haven't seen any people for 20 minutes.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 406

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. That will go for about fifty quid.

9. I want want it.

8. Tell Shell what it is, otherwise she won't get it.

7. There use to be some wonderful managers we lost.

6. I didn't have any time to cut the dots off, so that's what it look like.

5. You're going to regret confiding in me really.

4. No it goes left, right, past the school and right by the large bins.

3. I love to see the fear in their eyes.

2. Was there any job you had that you wish you'd just quit?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You're not from round here though, you're from Stratton.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

The Bright Fairy Lights of Swindon's Bus Policy

The loss of a million miles of bus route running in Swindon & Wiltshire since 2013 doesn't seem to bother Swindon Borough Council.

They've defended themselves with pointing out that they and central government support nearly 15 services with investment (or as government usually likes to call it in it's loaded way, 'subsidy') with the Bus Services Operators Grant and Section 106 money from developers.

Oh yes, like the £55,000 of Section 106 money that has been used to decorate the Greenbridge Roundabout with lights to make it look nice.

£55,000 would have gone a long way on, maybe employing a handful of people to act as traffic officers that could be on-call on peak traffic days around the Outlet Village.

Think how good an idea that would be, whilst your stuck on a bus, staring at the pretty lights.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 405

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It didn't do well to start with, not with salmon.

9. Don't forget, it'll be cold when we come out.

8. There was soup, but it was so sloppy, it was disgusting.

7. You can't expect her to wait for you forever if you're going to mess about.

6. He got me again, I said he wouldn't, but he did.

5. It can't be denied, that I looked damn good.

4. Theatre is where I really want to be.

3. Snapchat will kill us all.

2. At the end she turned into a zombie and they got married.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They say it may snow in Highworth, because it's so much higher up.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Tuesday, February 06, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 404

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I haven't come her to discuss your family affairs.

9. No we came by car, quite a different experience entirely.

8. We had rolls, I can't abide sliced bread.

7. I'm so glad you like it, cos this is all I'm going to be wearing.

6. I suppose he's very nice too, but I'm not going to get to know him.

5. No, there's a queue and you're not in it.

4. I just thought you'd like to know that I really don't care.

3. No, it's the stop next to the giant dog.

2. You could cover that up with a sheet of the big plastic that I keep for it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She's 17, but she looks 20.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.