Wednesday, November 07, 2018

In Swindon it's too unaffordable to build affordable houses

There was cause for hope when Swindon Borough Council said they were setting up their own housing company. At last, SBC could borrow money at historically low levels, build houses and either rent them (at council housing rates) and/or sell them on the private market. The privately-sold could have returned a profit and helped to pay for the new council houses.

But, of course, that would be too easy.

Instead SBC have built just seven houses, in 18 months of existence.

They do have a plan to build 14 houses in Shaw. Cynical residents say the original plan from the company was to build 16 houses, but that has been reduced as it realised that the plan would legally have to include affordable housing. But as we know all too well with SBC, everything, is always about the money.

Just to hammer-home that point, further sites around town identified for fill-in development by the housing company are due to be sold-off to developers, rather than done in-house.

Will there be a line in the sale contract to make sure the companies who buy the land will develop it in a short period of time and not land bank the purchase and simply fuel the housing shortage?

Of course not, this is all about the money!

- No strict control on design standards by doing it yourself.

- No new council houses to replace those being sold.

- No steady flow of new builds that the council can control.

At least they can use the money to rebrand themselves 'Swindon Housing Land Company'

How vibrant!

Sunday, November 04, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 443

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He put on the hat with the flower in it.

9. I thought all of these shoes were your husband's.

8. We only got as far as question one, it's going to take forever.

7. She took my name and didn't bother.

6. No that'll lead us to a dead end that other drivers have vanished into, never to return.

5. As a child, I remember being quite philosophical.

4. I think you've just got a common face.

3. They'll be in open revolt, mark my words.

2. If they're as good as they claim to be, why are the playing in Mark's back room?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I only watch the X Factor now for the adverts.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 442

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was giant, like the size of a bus, but a really big one.

9. The responsibility lies fairly and squarely with him, not that it'd be noticed.

8. I had eaten loads of chocolate and felt so sick it lasted three days.

7. Tell me it's all about the ego and nothing else.

6. I take her out for a drink, buy her something and give her money, but that's just normal.

5. Keep perspective on it, you're only talking about moss.

4. They cleared out his cupboards and all he got left with was money off vouchers.

3. I thought I could just fall back on my old fashioned tricks.

2. You don't know just how good you look do you, you really don't.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's no option to him sleeping up there, he's only two, I'd never take the risk.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 441

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Keep on like this and you'll get taken to hell on the dual carriageway.

9. I haven't seen him since he was dressed up as a drag queen.

8. You can't spell it that way any more, Google doesn't let you.

7. I know you like chutney more than me.

6. That car has been parked in that exact spot since before Kerry was born.

5. Oh I'll still have shorts on until at least twelfth night I reckon.

4. If he keeps this up his wife will leave him, and then his problems really start.

3. Just because you can afford all this stuff, it doesn't mean it's worth it.

2. No, those buses are mainly made out of old buses, it's all melted down and used again, including the drivers.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. At some point the family are going to find out and they're going to never speak to you ever again.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Backwards, to go Forward, Swindon

The long slow death of Forward Swindon has finally been confirmed.


No-one was surprised. But who has most to gain from it?

The optimist would say, the people of Swindon. The pessimist would say the new Cabinet member responsible for Town Centre regeneration.

There does seem to be a dividing line between the eras of the former Cabinet member, Councillor Perkins and Councillor Heenan.

The Perkins era was known for it's constant stream of optimistic words, staggeringly-slow physical on-the-ground change and constant questions about accountability.

The Heenan era will no doubt see a continuation of these to greater and lesser extents, depending on whether developers, specifically in the town centre, bring the private money that is constantly talked about, but seldom seen.

The end for Forward Swindon seems to have been marked by the tearing-up of the development agreement on Kimmerfields by the council. Plus the subtle changes on the FS website's Kimmerfields page that a development plan would be this autumn, has now become a 'movement strategy' to be 'developed in late 2018' and a plan for the new bus station to be 'finalised in early 2019'.

Reading between the lines, it's easy to see that the Kimmerfields (originally called Union Square) plan will be much different to what was originally proposed. 600,000 square feet of office space was the original plan, made up of half a dozen plots, most of them two or three buildings grouped around central courtyards. These would have had retail space on the ground floors and office space on the upper floors. Some upper floors would have been flats, plus a hotel and multi-storey carpark (maybe without crumbling terracota).

With Councillor Perkins comment that a business wants 100,000 square feet of office at Kimmerfields, that means the site would include fewer, but bigger buildings, that throws off entirely the original plan. 

If the traffic plan needs revising, then maybe Councillor Perkins admission that the new bus station would have no more bays than there currently is on Fleming Way and at the current bus station, will also be revised? He also admitted that there would be no room for additional bays for future bus growth, and that the bus companies would not agree to the plan if it didn't work. In that case, Thamesdown and Stagecoach should set their handbrakes and demand extra space, they may not get another chance to say so.

The business after the 100,000 square feet, is it a new business? A current one that's already in the town and who simply wants newer more up to date office space? Swindon Centric will not reveal!

What the new economic development team in SBC needs to be careful of is what happened to The Parade development, where the headlines were all about the new shiny BHS store to replace the old. Less was said about the new BHS store reducing their floorspace compared to the old store. In a sense a consolidation of investment, rather than an increase in it.

Replacing old buildings for new ones of similar size and use, is simply allowing the town centre to tread water. The replacing of the Wyvern Theatre carpark with the Whalebridge carpark is another expensive example of what essentially is maintenance of current facilities, not an investment to giving the town greater things.

For Kimmerfields to work, the SBC team need to persuade other businesses in on the back of the 100,000 square feet business.

Councillor Heenan being busy with his Sim City in east Swindon could work to the SBC team's advantage. They might be able to get to work on Kimmerfields without someone getting the crayons out and drawing all over the white hoardings. 

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 440

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can't carry on like this all your life.

9. The use of hashtags is overrated to the point of pointlessness.

8. The children were lovely and I miss them greatly.

7. We had a little get-together, nothing too emotional.

6. It's now a weekly ritual.

5. The sushi was not a choice I'd repeat.

4. Come on, I'm not having that, you can get off now.

3. The fair ground rides didn't look safe or clean.

2. You must come round for supper one night.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I always give a sick grin.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, October 07, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 439

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm sure that's not broccoli.

9. You give me way too much credit on that one.

8. You and me brother, all the way to the end of this route.

7. I can't equalise, you've given away all your points.

6. Have you changed your mind at all?

5. That lunch was he nicest I've had in the rain.

4. Going on a limb could be a phrase deemed offensive by me if I wanted.

3. There's lots of options to win her over when it gets towards Christmas.

2. He's really creepy and quite rightly is avoided by all staff.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You've not seen Mamma Mia? Then you have not lived a full life.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 438

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. If I go wrong here I've got to go right round by the opposite side junction which scares me.

9. He brought along sausage rolls and ham sandwiches they were posh.

8. Subway is not somewhere anyone would take a baby.

7. My average evening involves tears and plenty of passive aggressive comments going back and forth.

6. Real life doesn't include what you seem to think it does.

5. For many years it use to be acceptable to drink at lunchtime, now it's acceptable to drink lots at home in the evening.

4. I saw that twinkle in the eye and just kept on talking trying to ignore it.

3. Those shoes are going to be too small and will end up pinching every time you try and dance like that.

2. It was ready ten minutes ago and I'm going to miss the crackling.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They bought us all new ties, it's the best new thing in my wardrobe since popper trousers.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 437

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. So, eggs?

9. It sounded like a comedy trumpet.

8. I saw them, they saw me and they walked straight on by.

7. It's deeply troubling when you see how much work he put into it.

6. There will be something serious, but they owe it to tell the truth.

5. No, I'm not 14, so no, I'm not going to the fair.

4. Predictions include me dying my hair silver.

3. You question me all you want, you will get nothing.

2. It was such a big disagreement I had to keep quiet from roaring across the table.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I am the resistance in our street.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 436

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. No, I was in a proper play.

9. This is the enhanced version of myself.

8. I was overwhelmed with your response to me.

7. That did happen, without a word of a lie.

6. This seat is the worst on the whole bus.

5. They diverted it last week and I had to walk every single day back up the road.

4. If he reverses here we'll go through that wall.

3. You can't film my reaction because I won't react.

2. The pies almost look nicer than they taste.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm in the legends status since I started to go grey.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

The League of Innocent Gentleman


The most newsworthy part of this Adver story is that Councillor Nick Burns-Howell does not know what a 'gentleman's club' is.

Swindon Conservatives should do a whip-round and buy Councillor Nick a voucher for Christmas.

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Anyone for a Cheeky Justin?



Justin Tomlinson got a tour of the new Nandos at the Orbital.

Plenty of quotes about the economic and leisure benefits for residents of the area, but precious little (make that zero) on the nutritional value of a cheeky Nandos. Especially in comparison to other fast-food choices.

Did he go for a good runabout afterwards?

Sunday, September 09, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 435

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's easy street, absolutely easy street.

9. You're not sure, but you're going with the wrong answer anyway.

8. Without that shirt it could look a bit nice.

7. A prawn sandwich can go soggy quicker than you think.

6. It went to sudden death and the entire form lost and it went to the ones in blue.

5. Let's just remember the reason we went, which was for all the free stuff.

4. I've got a couple more points to make, but I'll save it for the next bus journey.

3. There's parts of my body I don't like, like this one.

2. You don't need big sleeves to do that really when you think about it at a basic level.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We came here for one thing and one thing only, knives.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, September 07, 2018

Noddy Promotion in Toyland


Swindoncentric nearly spat out it's coffee on hearing that Councillor Dale Heenan is now cabinet member for the town centre and regeneration.

Councillor Foley's move is slightly less interesting, apart from her quitting two positions before.

Maybe Dale can do a jumble sale to raise money for regenerating the town centre, a few quid will get Kimmerfields built, I'm sure.

I mean, look at the Sim City that is Liden after his the golden touch!

Lets hope he can spell the name of the town.

Thursday, September 06, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 434

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. This is what I'm going to be like into the future though.

9. Biscuits are all she really cares about now.

8. Oh, how gorgeous.

7. I thought I was going to be late after all that.

6. Put the barriers up and we'll all have to go the long way round.

5. It was a little awkward, but I'm use to that by now.

4. Places I grew up in weren't anything like this at all.

3. There are more sandwiches than you can ever imagine.

2. Draw a line under all of that, pull up your socks and move the hell on.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I went to visit him and was thoroughly unimpressed by everything.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 433

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Clear it out the way so I can get this minus through.

9. So gory I nearly fell off my chair.

8. I felt like such a fraud when they started asking the questions.

7. The character of Pat was based on me in my early days.

6. Just give him a headache tablet and it'll all just pass.

5. Did you know what a financial manager did before you started?

4. The facts were not as clear cut as you'd think.

3. I'll be so quiet, Paul would not even know I'd been through it all.

2. The sea makes such a difference to your work life balance when you live inland.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It was good, but didn't really move me like X Factor does.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

On The Slow Train To Daleville

When politicians have to use public services, they quickly realise why the public thinks the way they do about them.

The latest to come-of-age is Councillor Dale 'I-forgot-to-pay-my-council-tax' Heenan, who's realised how pricey railway season tickets are as he commutes to Bath for work.

Maybe Councillor Dale 'There's-only-one-n-in-Swindon''There's-only-one-n-in-Swindon' could get his mate MP Justin 'Can I interest you in a press release?' Tomlinson to explain the railways, as evidence suggest he's nothing but informed and consistent, especially on the topic of fares.

For a railway town, some of our politicians knowledge calls for one announcement, "MIND THE GAP."

Sunday, August 19, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 432

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The lights are on, which isn't the norm for our shops.

9. 6 weeks later, they'll all have a drugs habit.

8. Never let the dog see you bathing, he'll want to be in.

7. Cereal is a total con job.

6. The cable was bought online and it looks well dodge.

5. That gig was a washout, do you remember when the police came in?

4. There was an umbrella stand, who has one of those?

3. It got smuggled in, I had it under my coat.

2. It'll get as high as the top of your neck before it falls down.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I bought a load of new sandals, better start burying them in the garden.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 431

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Pleased as Larry, that is the correct phrase I do believe.

9. It was a right mutt, god knows how it puts up with him.

8. Let's remember that before it use to hang unused in the stairs cupboard.

7. I fully expect them to have crashed by the time they get to the main junction.

6. My float is total rubbish, it'll bring no good today.

5. They forecast rain and here I am in flip flops for all the good it'll do.

4. Their pastries were all reduced to clear, so I bought them all.

3. A bongo drum has been bought, like that's the idea of our age, I think not.

2. Why are people just eating plain rice, fresh air or nothing would be better surely?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's no tune, it's just pot holes.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, August 05, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 430

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You must have caught me on an off day, I was being nice you see.

9. Overtime I hear it, it just fills me with dread.

8. I have never worn sandals how dare you.

7. Everyone's going to be wearing the same thing anyway so there's no need to feel like a fool.

6. Ask me the questions and I'll tell you no lies.

5. Let's remember the real reason we're here, to get stamps.

4. At least you'll know for next time not to do that then in public.

3. Being as bold as you does not become naturally, either to you, or really anyone else.

2. It's not over yet, there's half a mile to go.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Doctor's orders I'm not to put water on it for three weeks, then only clean water.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.