Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 436

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. No, I was in a proper play.

9. This is the enhanced version of myself.

8. I was overwhelmed with your response to me.

7. That did happen, without a word of a lie.

6. This seat is the worst on the whole bus.

5. They diverted it last week and I had to walk every single day back up the road.

4. If he reverses here we'll go through that wall.

3. You can't film my reaction because I won't react.

2. The pies almost look nicer than they taste.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm in the legends status since I started to go grey.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

The League of Innocent Gentleman

The most newsworthy part of this Adver story is that Councillor Nick Burns-Howell does not know what a 'gentleman's club' is.

Swindon Conservatives should do a whip-round and buy Councillor Nick a voucher for Christmas.

Anyone for a Cheeky Justin?

Justin Tomlinson got a tour of the new Nandos at the Orbital.

Plenty of quotes about the economic and leisure benefits for residents of the area, but precious little (make that zero) on the nutritional value of a cheeky Nandos. Especially in comparison to other fast-food choices.

Did he go for a good runabout afterwards?

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 435

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's easy street, absolutely easy street.

9. You're not sure, but you're going with the wrong answer anyway.

8. Without that shirt it could look a bit nice.

7. A prawn sandwich can go soggy quicker than you think.

6. It went to sudden death and the entire form lost and it went to the ones in blue.

5. Let's just remember the reason we went, which was for all the free stuff.

4. I've got a couple more points to make, but I'll save it for the next bus journey.

3. There's parts of my body I don't like, like this one.

2. You don't need big sleeves to do that really when you think about it at a basic level.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We came here for one thing and one thing only, knives.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Noddy Promotion in Toyland

Swindoncentric nearly spat out it's coffee on hearing that Councillor Dale Heenan is now cabinet member for the town centre and regeneration.

Councillor Foley's move is slightly less interesting, apart from her quitting two positions before.

Maybe Dale can do a jumble sale to raise money for regenerating the town centre, a few quid will get Kimmerfields built, I'm sure.

I mean, look at the Sim City that is Liden after his the golden touch!

Lets hope he can spell the name of the town.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 434

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. This is what I'm going to be like into the future though.

9. Biscuits are all she really cares about now.

8. Oh, how gorgeous.

7. I thought I was going to be late after all that.

6. Put the barriers up and we'll all have to go the long way round.

5. It was a little awkward, but I'm use to that by now.

4. Places I grew up in weren't anything like this at all.

3. There are more sandwiches than you can ever imagine.

2. Draw a line under all of that, pull up your socks and move the hell on.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I went to visit him and was thoroughly unimpressed by everything.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 433

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Clear it out the way so I can get this minus through.

9. So gory I nearly fell off my chair.

8. I felt like such a fraud when they started asking the questions.

7. The character of Pat was based on me in my early days.

6. Just give him a headache tablet and it'll all just pass.

5. Did you know what a financial manager did before you started?

4. The facts were not as clear cut as you'd think.

3. I'll be so quiet, Paul would not even know I'd been through it all.

2. The sea makes such a difference to your work life balance when you live inland.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It was good, but didn't really move me like X Factor does.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

On The Slow Train To Daleville

When politicians have to use public services, they quickly realise why the public thinks the way they do about them.

The latest to come-of-age is Councillor Dale 'I-forgot-to-pay-my-council-tax' Heenan, who's realised how pricey railway season tickets are as he commutes to Bath for work.

Maybe Councillor Dale 'There's-only-one-n-in-Swindon''There's-only-one-n-in-Swindon' could get his mate MP Justin 'Can I interest you in a press release?' Tomlinson to explain the railways, as evidence suggest he's nothing but informed and consistent, especially on the topic of fares.

For a railway town, some of our politicians knowledge calls for one announcement, "MIND THE GAP."

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 432

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The lights are on, which isn't the norm for our shops.

9. 6 weeks later, they'll all have a drugs habit.

8. Never let the dog see you bathing, he'll want to be in.

7. Cereal is a total con job.

6. The cable was bought online and it looks well dodge.

5. That gig was a washout, do you remember when the police came in?

4. There was an umbrella stand, who has one of those?

3. It got smuggled in, I had it under my coat.

2. It'll get as high as the top of your neck before it falls down.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I bought a load of new sandals, better start burying them in the garden.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 431

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Pleased as Larry, that is the correct phrase I do believe.

9. It was a right mutt, god knows how it puts up with him.

8. Let's remember that before it use to hang unused in the stairs cupboard.

7. I fully expect them to have crashed by the time they get to the main junction.

6. My float is total rubbish, it'll bring no good today.

5. They forecast rain and here I am in flip flops for all the good it'll do.

4. Their pastries were all reduced to clear, so I bought them all.

3. A bongo drum has been bought, like that's the idea of our age, I think not.

2. Why are people just eating plain rice, fresh air or nothing would be better surely?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's no tune, it's just pot holes.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 430

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You must have caught me on an off day, I was being nice you see.

9. Overtime I hear it, it just fills me with dread.

8. I have never worn sandals how dare you.

7. Everyone's going to be wearing the same thing anyway so there's no need to feel like a fool.

6. Ask me the questions and I'll tell you no lies.

5. Let's remember the real reason we're here, to get stamps.

4. At least you'll know for next time not to do that then in public.

3. Being as bold as you does not become naturally, either to you, or really anyone else.

2. It's not over yet, there's half a mile to go.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Doctor's orders I'm not to put water on it for three weeks, then only clean water.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 429

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's such a hot thing to do.

9. We go back years, as far as the black and white days.

8. It was a very dry letter I received.

7. They set fire to it, which made it better.

6. That addiction is really becoming a problem.

5. The town is so dry it could burn at any moment.

4. You compete with the best for being wrong.

3. Tense your muscles and you'll look hot.

2. Penhill's finest, never a day sick in 20 years.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Okay, where are the buckets, where are the buckets.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 428

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Who allowed him to go in front of a camera?

9. He was working at the direction of head office.

8. They packed all the boxes with foam and filled the lorry with them.

7. I've been using my bathwater two days in a row.

6. That phone you gave me has a label saying 'Cindy' on it.

5. The context isn't important, it's what you say that counts.

4. I didn't add anything to it, I said it exactly as you said to.

3. A major company isn't going to want to see your legs.

2. All the info will be other people's or incorrect.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They're going to charge him to the full extent of the law.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 427

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was a giraffe, but it was reduced.

9. Tongs, that's all I can hear.

8. It'll be a good one, I've put my special trousers on.

7. Nigel doesn't reckon to any of it.

6. Years ago I wanted to be a policeman, but it's a lot of effort.

5. I forgot what I was doing and I went round the roundabout another time.

4. I never use that app, it gave me a rash.

3. They closed the floor and relocated everyone to the Oxford one.

2. I'll take the fast car, you can walk it mate.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Where's the little boys sizes?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 426

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a scary thing to do.

9. It's a really good deal, let me tell you why.

8. Bananas might eventually die out.

7. I've not done any juicing since the weather turned.

6. I've got a pair of shorts for each day of the week now.

5. They started to melt, we put them back undercover and put a bucket underneath.

4. It compares all the options, then gives you the one you wanted in the first place.

3. The bloke who was in that show about the fishes.

2. By the way, I've already had your lunch.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Personally, I don't think we have a fully functioning pair of sunglasses between us.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 425

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's what all the hip vegans are doing.

9. I know it's not real, but people really think it's real.

8. It was my first job and I didn't think much of it if I'm honest.

7. They changed the colour on the background and made everyone believe in a con.

6. The seed of an idea is always what I strive for.

5. The woman in charge of it only eats baguettes.

4. I never understood what the point was of braces in your mouth until I had them put in.

3. The left turn has been off for months, I don't think they'll put it back before they move the road.

2. We roared with laughter, nobody cared about the lady who had landed on the man in the chair.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We have diversified.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 424

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's not ideal, but you have to do it.

9. What's the benefit for them to hire you and not someone better?

8. We just rent the space, that's all we do.

7. Dave, don't ask me that, just don't.

6. A kilobyte isn't what you think it is.

5. I ironed this ages ago and it's still holding up.

4. It is unimaginably huge.

3. It's about 250 words per minute you can read.

2. But the population of the UK just does not care really.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The road will hurt you Maximus.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 423

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Michelle's already been through this before and picked it apart.

9. Your tie looks like a battenberg, but I can't really talk can I?

8. It's just rubbish, so crappy.

7. I thought it was ropey even before they changed the rota.

6. Keep that dream alive, but he's not going to leave her any time soon.

5. I hate pizza, it never lives up to it's promise if you think about it.

4. They offered her a place and she turned it down because it was south-facing.

3. I'm not following the business online, it's not something I want to ever be associated with.

2. It's tuna and it's so tasty, I've got some mints for afters.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I just don't believe a single word of it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 422

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Did you find the reaction different in the cafe?

9. That essay was so obscure I can't imagine anyone ever reading it.

8. Mozart isn't what you expect to get played in The Brunel.

7. He once bought some prawns, I don't know what he did with them.

6. It's the wrong method I've known, but it worked.

5. I haven't slept for two nights, so it must be real.

4. I wriggled about, it seemed to work.

3. I had a cheap sandwich, it got me by.

2. Why should they be bothered what I wear on my head?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The sex is different, not bad, just different.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 421

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's not the right size, it won't do the job.

9. There's a shake every time we turn left.

8. No it's next to the shops and right opposite the social club, with the funny roof.

7. If they run it every 20 minutes you'll end up with about one person on each bus.

6. I'm thinking of getting rid of my phone and replacing it with staring out the window.

5. It only takes me 12 minutes to get home, I can't complain really.

4. Like, if you bought that top in Primark and swapped it for the H&M one you'd look so much slimmer.

3. I ignore it when he does this as it's all just to get attention.

2. He wanted to turn it into two flats, but then realised he actually need permission and he gave up.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You know and I know that we both have an issue with each other.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.