Sunday, July 29, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 429

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's such a hot thing to do.

9. We go back years, as far as the black and white days.

8. It was a very dry letter I received.

7. They set fire to it, which made it better.

6. That addiction is really becoming a problem.

5. The town is so dry it could burn at any moment.

4. You compete with the best for being wrong.

3. Tense your muscles and you'll look hot.

2. Penhill's finest, never a day sick in 20 years.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Okay, where are the buckets, where are the buckets.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 428

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Who allowed him to go in front of a camera?

9. He was working at the direction of head office.

8. They packed all the boxes with foam and filled the lorry with them.

7. I've been using my bathwater two days in a row.

6. That phone you gave me has a label saying 'Cindy' on it.

5. The context isn't important, it's what you say that counts.

4. I didn't add anything to it, I said it exactly as you said to.

3. A major company isn't going to want to see your legs.

2. All the info will be other people's or incorrect.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They're going to charge him to the full extent of the law.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 427

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was a giraffe, but it was reduced.

9. Tongs, that's all I can hear.

8. It'll be a good one, I've put my special trousers on.

7. Nigel doesn't reckon to any of it.

6. Years ago I wanted to be a policeman, but it's a lot of effort.

5. I forgot what I was doing and I went round the roundabout another time.

4. I never use that app, it gave me a rash.

3. They closed the floor and relocated everyone to the Oxford one.

2. I'll take the fast car, you can walk it mate.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Where's the little boys sizes?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 08, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 426

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a scary thing to do.

9. It's a really good deal, let me tell you why.

8. Bananas might eventually die out.

7. I've not done any juicing since the weather turned.

6. I've got a pair of shorts for each day of the week now.

5. They started to melt, we put them back undercover and put a bucket underneath.

4. It compares all the options, then gives you the one you wanted in the first place.

3. The bloke who was in that show about the fishes.

2. By the way, I've already had your lunch.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Personally, I don't think we have a fully functioning pair of sunglasses between us.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 01, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 425

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's what all the hip vegans are doing.

9. I know it's not real, but people really think it's real.

8. It was my first job and I didn't think much of it if I'm honest.

7. They changed the colour on the background and made everyone believe in a con.

6. The seed of an idea is always what I strive for.

5. The woman in charge of it only eats baguettes.

4. I never understood what the point was of braces in your mouth until I had them put in.

3. The left turn has been off for months, I don't think they'll put it back before they move the road.

2. We roared with laughter, nobody cared about the lady who had landed on the man in the chair.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We have diversified.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 424

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's not ideal, but you have to do it.

9. What's the benefit for them to hire you and not someone better?

8. We just rent the space, that's all we do.

7. Dave, don't ask me that, just don't.

6. A kilobyte isn't what you think it is.

5. I ironed this ages ago and it's still holding up.

4. It is unimaginably huge.

3. It's about 250 words per minute you can read.

2. But the population of the UK just does not care really.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The road will hurt you Maximus.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, June 22, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 423

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Michelle's already been through this before and picked it apart.

9. Your tie looks like a battenberg, but I can't really talk can I?

8. It's just rubbish, so crappy.

7. I thought it was ropey even before they changed the rota.

6. Keep that dream alive, but he's not going to leave her any time soon.

5. I hate pizza, it never lives up to it's promise if you think about it.

4. They offered her a place and she turned it down because it was south-facing.

3. I'm not following the business online, it's not something I want to ever be associated with.

2. It's tuna and it's so tasty, I've got some mints for afters.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I just don't believe a single word of it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 422

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Did you find the reaction different in the cafe?

9. That essay was so obscure I can't imagine anyone ever reading it.

8. Mozart isn't what you expect to get played in The Brunel.

7. He once bought some prawns, I don't know what he did with them.

6. It's the wrong method I've known, but it worked.

5. I haven't slept for two nights, so it must be real.

4. I wriggled about, it seemed to work.

3. I had a cheap sandwich, it got me by.

2. Why should they be bothered what I wear on my head?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The sex is different, not bad, just different.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, June 07, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 421

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's not the right size, it won't do the job.

9. There's a shake every time we turn left.

8. No it's next to the shops and right opposite the social club, with the funny roof.

7. If they run it every 20 minutes you'll end up with about one person on each bus.

6. I'm thinking of getting rid of my phone and replacing it with staring out the window.

5. It only takes me 12 minutes to get home, I can't complain really.

4. Like, if you bought that top in Primark and swapped it for the H&M one you'd look so much slimmer.

3. I ignore it when he does this as it's all just to get attention.

2. He wanted to turn it into two flats, but then realised he actually need permission and he gave up.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You know and I know that we both have an issue with each other.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, June 03, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 420

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Were you to be as thin as me we wouldn't be having this conversation.

9. No she's not German but she wants everyone to think that.

8. If it's the World Cup I can forgive that.

7. It's the second stop after that freezer shop with the funny doors.

6. Our cat keeps vanishing for weeks, coming back and smelling of polish.

5. They reckon they'll close, sack everyone, then reopen on cheaper contracts.

4. There's only 20 minutes left now.

3. No, Michelle and I went to Subway, that must have been where we lost you.

2. Where they've reopened it's much bigger, but it hasn't got much atmosphere.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Quinoa isn't all it's cracked up to be when you've got it three days in a row.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 419

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a surge of a kind.

9. That's not a noise, that's a whimper.

8. It's a peak and I think no.

7. Charges are going to be brought you know.

6. A pasty that heats itself up, that's the future.

5. Malcom keeps his pants on even in the shower.

4. If I give him a packet of crisps he keeps quiet for the morning.

3. The prosecco went flat, but it tasted better.

2. That Sharon needs to be more subtle when it comes to her wedding hats.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The fact of the matter is, he doesn't believe in his children.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 418

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You totally ruined the mood with your choice of shoes.

9. It's his birthday, I swear he has two a year.

8. The garden rake has gone walks again, I shall have to speak to my mother.

7. This is the way the world is now, or at least at the moment.

6. In 1976 I lost the end of my middle finger, look.

5. My book would be all about my shameful attitude towards dark chocolate.

4. Hopefully he won't turn up to the wedding dressed in a Nazi outfit.

3. Never been good at figures, I think it stems from having a calculator on my phone.

2. If we all go to protest it'd terrify the living daylights out of them.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I don't want to be married to a supermodel, I want to be married to you.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 06, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 417

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He really went out of his way to be helpful.

9. Jess was lovely, but she put on her coat and things started to turn.

8. You can do my job and we'll see just how much you really know.

7. It's named after that latch we had in the kitchen.

6. There was nowhere to park, so we didn't bother going in.

5. There was a chicken curry but it tasted like cake.

4. It wasn't stolen, it was left behind and they never came back for it.

3. I popped in and everyone was in, so I stayed and we had a great old time.

2. Didn't he turn up at her leaving do bragging about his decking?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You can't get much lower than me.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, May 04, 2018

Swindon Election - Within a Hair's Breadth

Labour came within touching distance of taking control of Swindon Borough Council last night, but it was no cigar for the reds.

They did claim a significant piece of turf, taking another seat in the Eastcott ward, out of an area the Lib Dems often claim to be their Swindon home (that home now very small, a bedsit room in an Eastcott HMO probably).

But the yellow's did win in Wroughton & Wichelstowe from the Conservatives, showing that the retired, wealthy blue voters over the M4 can't always be relied upon.

So there is now a one seat Tory majority Swindon Borough Council. Full results here.

Labour will now be pinning their hopes on a by-election that they can gain a seat and the council by.

Any families or gardens out there that need to have more time spent with them?

Anyone?

Wednesday, May 02, 2018

Swindon Election : The Tory Legacy - The Monetisation of Swindon

If the Tories lose their majority on Swindon Borough Council tomorrow it'll mark the passing of an era that's a microcosm of Conservative national policy on one location.

Ultimately it'll mark the passing of the era that shifted from a full-service local authority to the tendering-out of much of it's function, then as the financial crisis started to bite the spinning-off of various remaining parts in an effort to make them profit-centres for SBC. Realising that was impossible for most parts and the cost of bringing them back in house and the final incarnation, an SBC cut back to beyond the bone, with vital bits missing, operating barely with minimal or no financial support and an entire absence of experience and knowledge from it's senior officers.

It saw a body of politicians so out of touch with it's own electorate (scared? Probably) that it imposed a new level of local bureaucracy (parish councils) to offload services and itemise the parish precept to them with explaining it away with "you're paying more because there's a parish now" despite the idiocy of many Borough councillors also now being Parish councillors at the same time.

The loss of economies of scale in contracting, purchasing and administration mean you are paying more and you are getting less, be in no doubt. This advert shows nearly £26,000 for a deputy parish clerk in one parish, plus they'll need an office, a PC, printer/photocopier, a website, I.T. support...

That's not even mentioning wringing cash out of Thamesdown Transport in the good years, then turning face and saying it was responsible when councillors chose to cut bus subsidy to lightly-used routes that could never be commercially run. Then of course selling it off in the end.

Then there's the £400,000 they gave to a businessman and we never saw again, the closure of Sure Start Centres, the axe swung in Dial-a-Ride's direction, the shock-doctrine threatened closure of all the town's libraries (except one), the Lydiard Park cock-up but the continued subsidy to Steam, the sacrifice of land around Coate Water, the roads to nowhere for a decade at Wichelstowe, the privatisation of Swindon Commercial Services (then that being reversed), the spinning-off of adult social care (SEQOL), the bizarre situation where they sponsored the town's half marathon, then it's return to council ownership, and on and on and on.

None of the above was inevitable, councillors get to choose what happens when they run a town, the choices may be limited in some situations, but they still exist.

Swindon has a choice tomorrow, we can choose to have a town with a council who's officers and politicians truly are the servants of the people. Or we can carry on like this.

The choice is ours.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 416

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. That's the wrong sprinkler to think of to use.

9. It was coned off, so I moved the cones and went straight through.

8. I expect he got a meal deal, he's got no imagination.

7. Most of my boys all wear the same thing.

6. Soon we'll get to the corner and they'll all pile on.

5. No, when they pulled it down the sign vanished too.

4. Who's Fleming anyway?

3. That's not the pasty I expected.

2. I only give out my screen name to people I know will get me into trouble.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Once I use to be 21 and that ended in disaster.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 415

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You're doing very well to keep your balance.

9. This usually goes the other way, but today it goes this way.

8. A smart shirt is all it takes.

7. The effort is very little when you factor it in.

6. I'll be realistic and you can continue to kid yourself.

5. When the sun comes out the awful tattoos get to say hello.

4. No-one's said anything, but he is actually breaking the law.

3. So, your mother, has she always been like that?

2. I can recite the entire Star Wars films, now which order shall I do them in?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Last time he did a barbecue we all needed up off work with food poisoning.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 414

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Keep it realistic, no one wears those anymore.

9. Peanuts should be outlawed for being so incredibly boring.

8. I expect nothing less from you.

7. I hid behind the door and waited until they'd gone away.

6. Once they finish at that junction they start on the other one which finishes just in time for my retirement.

5. Honda are not going to hang around if it doesn't get sorted.

4. They swarmed, then I ran, then I woke up.

3. Cheese should taste less gritty than that.

2. Mule heels are hell, just pure hell, sent from the devil to kill my feet.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We can't decide what to get them until we know their colour-scheme.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 08, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 413

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You really have to prove yourself if you take it like that.

9. There's no gin let, I'm telling you.

8. It's not true that those pants are her pants.

7. Originally it was done on the stage, in New York I believe, or Gloucester.

6. You've dredged the bottom now.

5. She never looks you in the eye, which I find very off-putting.

4. It doesn't matter how many times you ask me.

3. I really don't fancy that on today of all days.

2. Subway is where you go when you can't think of anywhere better go for lunch.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Since I've stopped my nose doesn't tingle any more.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 01, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 412

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's the second generation being far quicker than before.

9. The invention itself will be laughably slow.

8. He stayed in bed all day when I was on my way to the airport.

7. There's nothing sexy about a bus journey.

6. But Easter is all about eggs, eggs made of cheese.

5. Her and her boyfriend spend their nights out looking at their own phones.

4. My clothes don't seem to last as long as they did.

3. France nearer than you think, it takes longer sometimes to get across Bristol.

2. If I got the kingfisher on a wire, how would I put it in the garden and make it stand out?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Well if it goes wrong, I can just get divorced.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.