Sunday, June 16, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 474

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm not sure whether to keep the attachments or not.

9. What would you make of me just leaving right now?

8. I don't know, you're better at these things than me.

7. I seem to have ended up with one too few of the metal bits.

6. When you've been talking too much it always takes you about ten minutes to realise.

5. I had to buy twice as long to cover up the identical same area.

4. The food was appalling, I've never seen chicken like that before.

3. You can say whatever you want, but on reflection I won't mind really.

2. I'm going to the tills now to make payment, exeunt.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Keeping things all bottled up never helped, look at any serial killer to see how that worked out.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, June 09, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 473

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Is it two legs or one, I'm confused?

9. Did Chris Evans actually make an appearance?

8. He's not going to touch it if it's not easy to reach.

7. The water was flowing down so fast we couldn't sweep it away.

6. That type of dirt will get everywhere, it was never like that at my old place.

5. Put it on toast, fantastic.

4.  It got set on fire, but it wouldn't catch, which tells you something.

3. Whey, I mean, what is it really?

2. Don't look so pleased with yourself. every normal person does it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It was all made up, I thought I was watching a really bad student programme.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, June 02, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 472

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. So wait, you're not getting married?

9. This is what I've chosen for you, it's an extra large.

8. There's chicken bits in the freezer if you get desperate.

7. I'm always the last one to know about these aspects of controversy.

6. How are you feeling about the changes to the buying section?

5. I went in there and all I wanted was a pair of tweezers and I came out with a basket.

4. They had really thickly cut ham that was on the edge of going off before the weekend.

3. It looks like a cake, but when you take it out of the box it appears like a trifle.

2. Teenagers deserve a break, they'd got to put up with us.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. My mum is not happy about it one little bit.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, May 31, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 471

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They're only just covering their costs.

9. I had the melt, it was frozen.

8. The salad they had tasted like it was on fire.

7. You're just sat there waiting for something to go wrong.

6. Keep looking and I'm sure you'll find what you're searching for.

5. Tai keeps on at me to change my address, but I don't have another one.

4. Come on, get your stuff, we've arrived in dodge.

3. I wrapped the scarf around the side of my head and carried out until I couldn't see them anymore.

2. There's a bottle of it that I got reduced to 37p, it tasted like bubble gum.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She's come back again, even though they sacked her twice.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 470

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I always go to Vegas and see the shows, I love the classiness.

9. It was at number one for so long even my gran knew it.

8. It lashed down and ended up being hail.

7. The jump was so far he fractured his wrist in about three places.

6. When they danced it spoke volumes.

5. If you put the sauce on first it doesn't taste as bad.

4. Keep that on your lap and I'll push it if it slides.

3. I've got to go all the way back and collect my badge before my holiday.

2. It's new but it looks really old like it's going to fall to pieces.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Her toilet hadn't been connected up yet and there was a poo done in it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 469

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There were four to start with, I don't remember buying them.

9. He claimed he'd been set up, nice fantasy.

8. Kay reckons it won't be long before he gets sent to Cardiff.

7. It got fixed, it's only taken two years and about half a dozen visits.

6. A salad was tried, with little success from the males that were there.

5. It's all gone new and I hate to admit I don't always understand it.

4. The warmth will come back if we give it a chance.

3. When you're living it, it's slightly different.

2. That man will make or break the shop.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They got back in, they could set fire to the town and people would still vote for them.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 05, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 468

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. That man's coming on right now.

9. The food is just plain nasty.

8. Don't say you can't move, look at all that room.

7. It's time to leave, this is pretty much my stop.

6. Those sweets are making me sick, take them away.

5. Call your friend and tell them what I just told you, go on.

4. You need to use metal supports to make sure they can stand up.

3. I was told he was keeping it secret that there was no more money to run it.

2. You can act all civilised, but it does not take away that you're mostly really rude.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. If I had loads of money, I'd still live next to you, I suppose.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Saturday, May 04, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 467

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's got less sugar but more colouring.

9. Some of the sites I've been on are not fit for human consumption.

8. The fox will end up coming after me if I disturb it.

7. Water was as tall as this and I had no choice but to wade through it.

6. I saw them in Iceland and bought enough to fill the compartment with.

5. He got stuck inside then decided he needed to see daylight and went in the garden for a bit.

4. She's never seen a badger in person.

3. Make me wait up for it and I'll be asleep before the weather at the end of the news.

2. If you go that way you'll end up in the middle of that weird park with the noisy trees.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Nothing from the yellow lot, but then again yellow paper isn't easy to find.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, May 01, 2019

Swindon Elections - The Long Bluh Shadow

Despite it being over six years since Rod Bluh was Swindon Conservative leader, his comments have rankled the current members into a long and rambling statement.

From Brexit to not living in the ward, to the track record of the Tory candidate and finally a swipe at Corbyn, it seems like the person writing the statement has just cobbled together any old guff and sent it out.

The bluster of the Tory statement shows just how much sway they believe Rod Bluh's comments hold with voters.

But of course, they won't admit it.

Maybe tomorrow night's results will reveal the Tory vote slowly sinking into the marshy ground of Wichelstowe, clucking away about anything it doesn't like.

Swindon Elections - Is Dale's Dream Dead?

Remember it being said that councillors who get hold of their own library end up moaning about litter in the rain?

For Dale Heenan, it appears to have just started lashing down.

Covingham Parish Council are no longer willing to part-fund Covingham Library run by Dale's trust. From reading the Parish meeting minutes from January, it seems the Parish was under the impression their funding was to allow the Trust to get on it's feet and eventually be self-funding (or maybe through monies from elsewhere). This does not seem to have come to fruition, and a request for funding for the 2019/20 year from the Parish for the library was received. Not only that, the Library Trust requested an increase of a thousand pounds on the amount it received from the Parish in previous years.

With lack of accurate usage figures for Covingham Library, the Parish have not been able to work out if they are getting value for money and therefore have stopped their funding.

As you can imagine, Dale is not happy, as seen in this part of one of his election leaflets from this month.

It seems there was a reaction from the local community to the news, but it was rather muted. According to the March Parish Council minutes, two residents asked questions in person, and four emails on the topic were received (one of them from a Friends of Covingham Library member).

It's quite telling that the Swindon Community Library Trust (set-up to takeover Covingham Library and Liden Library when the Borough Council withdrew their own funding) has a website that has not been updated for nearly a year (the last news story being about a beer festival in June 2018). 

Things seem to have gone full-circle, with the quiet news that the Borough Council has decided to keep it's main 5 libraries as Borough Council entities and to not create a charitable trust to run them. The Borough Council seem to have realised that keeping the main libraries centralised allows them to be easier to run and meet council aims. A startlingly vibrant revelation indeed, but a boringly sensible and right decision none the less.

Where does this leave the libraries run by the Trust? Only Dale can answer that. But he's busy in the town centre, appearing to suggest that if people vote other than Tory at this week's local elections they risk causing Debenhams to close. 

That's quite a desperate and daft suggestion (Maybe Tories in Wroughton and Wichelstowe are using the same tactic, suggesting to their voters that a Lib Dem victory will cause Waitrose to walk away from Middle Wichel?) . But considering he said in the same story that the Oasis ski slope is to be in the town centre (the site at North Star is not in the town centre, it's in North Star), it seems his grasp of geography is like his grasp of library funding, not quite to scale.

Has anyone checked the maths on the Dale idea of selling off the Civic Offices plan to pay for the new museum and art gallery and Wyvern? 

Get out the slide rule and the correcting fluid... make sure it doesn't get washed away in the pouring rain.



Sunday, April 21, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 466

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm angry about more than you think.

9. Lets focus on what's important though.

8. It was a very, very big deal.

7. I agree with you, it looks provocative.

6. He worked with her for so many years it's not funny.

5. I didn't call her a bitch, I know her and I like her.

4. Tolerating that is the thin end of the wedge.

3. Contactless isn't all that when you think about it.

2. Being cool isn't what you think it is should be when you see other people.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We're supposed to be humble, we're supposed to be humble and grateful.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 465

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I heard him whispering behind the wall.

9. Stop acting like kids, we will get off.

8. I use to sing that before I realised what it was about.

7. Are you talking to Mal again?

6. It was lovely to relive it all again.

5. It clearly worked as you're here aren't you.

4. I'm celebrating it's sheer size mate.

3. Back in the 70s you could not find any of them in tins.

2. That soft buzz was all I could hear until it all came back to me.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's no art around what you're doing, it's just mess.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 07, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 464

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Over the mountain and over the sea is where I want to be.

9. They had pasta, but it looked sort of rubbery, so I had an apple instead.

8. Shine it up and you might like the look.

7. I'm not taking that off you if you're going to be like that.

6. We've got that voucher which could be used if you wanted.

5. I like to get in early and avoid all the staring people.

4. It sounded like a strangling, but in broad daylight.

3. All the way over the back there, where Steve's old wife lived.

2. The spelling mistake was intentional, that's the joke, but not for you.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's no need to lose your mind over it, it's not like I've died and come back.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, April 05, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 463

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Like if you lost it, you'd never get it back again.

9. Try if you like, but I'm not interested in your business.

8. Tina keeps bragging about this bag and lamp.

7. Biscuits seem like such a comfort when I feel like this.

6. They left it totally open to the elements.

5. A salad won't do what you think it's going to do.

4. Remember I've always been the one to stick with you.

3. If she gets that paranoid when nothing happens, then don't tell her about this afternoon.

2. The last time I saw you was when Noel was still on the TV.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Try and keep it together until we get home please.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Monday, March 25, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 462

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was carbon monoxide. We didn't know for a week.

9. If you go like that you'll lose the beat.

8. This will make you crazy in short order.

7. It's alway when I'm trying to do something.

6. It's not like I've got time to laze around you know.

5. Keep it to yourself if that's possible.

4. Sheila likes to do that but I'm not that keen.

3. They use to do decent wallpaper back in the day.

2. That pub is always busy, do none of them work?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Is chorizo spicy?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 461

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was really blowy, but we got there.

9. There is a special kind of magic, you're right.

8. Come to me.

7. This was all planned years ago you know.

6. It's got to be all around me before I'm satisfied.

5. That's a lie and they all know it too.

4. It's got really dark all of a sudden for no reason.

3. I really want you to stay if I'm honest.

2. Sheila knows all of my opinions on that subject without any doubt.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You are such hard work.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 460

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Those photos are just what you'd expect.

9. Oh I like this song since they changed it.

8. If you go faster you'll end up getting there quicker.

7. She's really unproductive. She gives lazy people a bad name.

6. There was no singing, it was just someone fiddling with something.

5. I'm not that old. I'm younger than many think.

4. If you keep fiddling with that I'll take it off you.

3. Having that many dogs cannot be healthy.

2. The fare stage is on that post.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You know nothing of me. Nothing.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, February 24, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 459

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Don't wedge it there for goodness sake.

9. People like to complain about it whenever they get the chance.

8. I've been like this since I was born.

7. None of them understand, they're all office managers.

6. The whole place was in a state of shock when we heard.

5. But if it's not been running at full capacity for a while, how did people not suspect?

4. Watching it back, I look really good.

3. Try matching that colour up to this top, it's impossible.

2. They cover the car up, and it was mild enough overnight I left my windows open.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They can't all go to Pressed Steel, they only make little cars there.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 458

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Stop playing with that phone.

9. It happened randomly so I was surprised.

8. Aged two I could recognise everything.

7. We're going to have our hair done for the first time.

6. She travels a long way just for that, it seems such a waste.

5. I would hang around, but it was just to be seen.

4. That whole thing looked like a rocket that wasn't moving.

3. Wrap this around your head, a bit like a helmet.

2. They don't have those any more, not sure when they got rid of them.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. That chip shop use to be so far away, but my legs use to be shorter then.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 457

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. We should go along to the castle for that meeting.

9. The thing to remember is it's her home.

8. That big old painting terrifies me.

7. It's the most office type thing I've ever seen in all my days.

6. The last thing I want to do is create a scene.

5. Dinner was great, I didn't make too many mistakes.

4. When I get tired I leave the cat to do the washing up.

3. I'm going to keep it to myself and go to bed.

2. An eerie light was being given off by the picture.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You just blatantly ignored me.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, February 03, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 456

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The company needs more mugs like him.

9. No two ways about it, he fancies her like there's no tomorrow.

8. That skirt just works, it just does.

7. I've got just enough left to keep into enough trouble.

6. Playing all round the world is the aim of that company.

5. They're all casual, and it really shows in the quality of the service.

4. Shock of my life when I heard the news of the engagement.

3. He'd been to about 5 different places all over town and it wasn't even properly lunchtime.

2. The last time we kept those in the kitchen was back when my father was paranoid about the electric going off.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It'l be a right laugh if you wear that face.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 455

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The right shoes set it all off like a party.

9. I found my car keys on the bus.

8. You said it wouldn't matter, hob nobs.

7. It's a shame your face is shaped that way after all.

6. They stopped the countdown just before it all kicked off giving a bit of welcomed delay.

5. She asked for forgiveness, but I'm not ready to grant it.

4. I had a second thought about the Powell problem.

3. They don't seem to be very productive considering how long they're in for.

2. Your father was a great man, not a leader.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I stopped hanging out with him because he became more boring than ITV on a Saturday night.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 454

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Nobody else would act like this if they had your legs.

9. That sausage roll is causing a lot of problems for you.

8. Looking in the eye is a sign of danger.

7. Don't feel it's a standing obligation to always go this way.

6. If you don't wake up with regret that will be progress.

5. The rules state you cannot board with that rabble.

4. A new tie does not make you an executive.

3. It's all voluntary, so of course, it doesn't get done.

2. The consequences will be as bad as the choice of sandwiches.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. If you're going Vegan it's healthier to just eat crisps straight from the multipack.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Just(in) out of touch


The elephant in the room in Justin Tomlinson's online response to last night's government defeat, was no mention of the 118 Conservative MPs who voted against.

Interesting that he instead mentioned the opportunity of opposition MPs to 'wreck Brexit'.

Interesting there was no mention of his own party colleagues who seem to be doing that.

Interesting even further that he seems to be playing politics with a huge moment. Even though he's the first person to accuse opposition parties of playing politics.

Strong and stable.


Sunday, January 13, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 453

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Over 100 years old isn't that surprising these days.

9. There's was a doorbell ring, then a small popping sound.

8. That music makes no sense to me, like metal.

7. They're getting married and it was so very happy to hear.

6. The women were fighting, no idea what's caused that.

5. The pass expires, but I'll keep using it.

4. You can't resist the lure of cake.

3. She's heard stories all about it and pretends she hasn't.

2. My name isn't my real name I'm sure.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. What are you waiting for, you've got the right shoes on.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, January 06, 2019

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 452

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's like their normal habitat, shopping.

9. Don't mess around, I'm feeling quite fragile now.

8. Samuel can think what he wants, I know the truth and now so do you.

7. Keep it in perspective, you haven't got any teeth.

6. I ate nothing over Christmas, I'm starving if I'm honest wth you.

5. You fainted twice on getting your post.

4. Quick thinking isn't always as good as you think.

3. Salad will be my secret weapon in the new year.

2. The reunion always happens at Christmas.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You can't put your box there, I've got my drum.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 451

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Potatoes are best if you don't know what to do.

9. There were like 20 men behind him.

8. It's an obvious disguise because everyone's seen it several times already.

7. Just give it a twist if it gets stuck.

6. I saw the face you made then.

5. Forget what happens last and remember how it starts.

4. Josie never shuts up about her floors.

3. But there's cold pizza left here.

2. She can either walk over and be picked up, or wait 40 minutes for me to get through the traffic.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He will stop at nothing, not even that.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 450

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The custard hasn't quite achieved it's ultimate destiny.

9. You've not thought through this one little bit have you?

8. I was terrified that she might be a feminist, then I was terrified that she might not be one.

7. I had no idea pants shopping could be so enthralling until I dived in.

6. I would have given them a tenner for it, but they weren't having it.

5. Furtive whisperings to cheese.

4. That's a lowercase 'l' Katherine.

3. We like to set off late so if we get stuck it'll be dark and we can fall asleep.

2. She had antlers on, making her easy to spot in an open-plan office of people dressed the same.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. How can she hit me with a broken arm?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Park and Hide

For the sake of the town's sanity, can Swindon Borough Council put some (make that, any) roadsigns up to direct people to the Wroughton Park & Ride if they're going to the Outlet this weekend?

It's fine advertising it through press releases, but there are no sign on the roads at all.

If you want it to work, do it properly, come on!

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 449

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Don't tear the lid, just pop it off.

9. There's not much more left to say about that outfit.

8. Everyone keeps talking about David, despite him not knowing anyone.

7. You'll have to pay for the privilege of coming to my house.

6. It wasn't very steady considering how much weight is being carried.

5. Not a footballer, they use to be the boyfriend of someone on a reality show.

4. I could have bought something for his parents, but they have never spoken to me since that night.

3. Their Christmas do turned into an awful car crash of regret.

2. Adam has not finished talking yet.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He was going to throw it in Kev's face, but he ate it instead.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, December 14, 2018

Do as I say, not as I do

The row about budget cuts at Swindon Museum & Art Gallery is insightful to civic assets that are deemed more important than others, depending on where they are.

The quote from Councillor Heenan is even more interesting :

"The unvarnished reality is that the current Museum and Art Gallery brings in no income of note, has extremely low footfall and is subsidised by taxpayers to the tune of £200,000 per year and Labour councillors are happy to see this continue."

Substitute the asset name 'Liden Library' and the different amount of subsidy pre-Henan takeover and you have the perfect example of what is deemed important to councillors now we all live in a parished world.

The Conservative Borough council (along with Labour councillors) was more than happy to heap praise upon the Museum when councillors had the scent of lottery money in their nostrils. As that has fallen by the wayside, we're all expected to forget the very recent past and rally behind the budget cuts in an alternate reality.

With the current councillors in charge, don't forget, the council (under the influence and whims of ruling councillors) functions primarily just as an accounting exercise.

Do as I say, not as I do (apart from if it's in your own parish).

Sunday, December 09, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 448

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He crossed over, did a little jiggle and fell over.

9. Don't jingle those balls.

8. From my standpoint I couldn't see over the policy.

7. The founder took all the money from the till and swanned off.

6. I like to see myself as helping people do great things in their lives.

5. The supermarket seems to be designed to make me spend all my money.

4. Buying that would be pointless when I'll have no need for it from June.

3. What you're doing is wrong even in Moredon.

2. We are not going to let her call her child Hogan.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The fraud check revealed an awful lot of fraud, which is good because we know it works.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Saturday, December 08, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 447

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. In another life we'd both be slightly taller.

9. My backstop is the end of turning circle.

8. He's called something like Solomon, he didn't get the wisdom though.

7. There was silence, then someone coughed and laughed at the same time.

6. This reminds of the forgot road, just along there.

5. She's the most shameless self-publicist I've ever known since social media began.

4. Then all the putty fell out at once.

3. But if breakfast isn't included, then who's going to pay for it?

2. I really like this and I'll tell you why, it's very substantial.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I totally love mild cheddar.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 446

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a total I'm not proud to have been in.

9. She nearly shoved her and knocked her down he stairs.

8. The reliable bunch have turned up.

7. It always get stuck at this time, when will someone do something?

6. They've not had a manager there since 1996.

5. There is no way it can be better than what we've currently got.

4. For women it's hugely empowering.

3. What got written in that newsletter was entirely avoidable if they had just listened.

2. He is odd and his mother does not help, running round after him all the time.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They're all wearing lanyards like a badge of honour, it's nothing to be proud of.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 445

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You don't even look when you pass by.

9. We all see you've got your head in the clouds.

8. I didn't really work out the moves to the whole thing.

7. I've been waiting since nine past and look here's three of them.

6. They always say it'll be blocked, but the traffic vanishes into another dimension on Akers Way sometimes.

5. Been driving for ages, never acknowledges passengers and has gone years without anything resembling a smile.

4. Let's keep in perspective in all of this, she doesn't like you and never will.

3. But it's love then you better hold on for dear life mate.

2. No Christmas markets this year, I'm still up to my ears in scented candles.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. As soon as I get this baby dropped I'm coming after him.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

An Outlet for Poor Planning Permission

The discounting of Rodbourne and Even Swindon residents complaints about the Outlet Village traffic could only last so long and has recently come to a head.

In the stock-comment by councillors, plenty of room is always made for not wanting to make changes that will ruin the Outlet's success.

One blindingly obvious point about the traffic problems that comes right back to the council's involvement, is never mentioned. Namely that Swindon Borough Council councillors signed-off the continued expansion of the Outlet and the former Works site through planning applications, and ultimately the accompanying transport and traffic plans.

After several years of near-gridlock at busy times that blocks roads not just nearby, but also into the centre of town, the west and north, plus major disruption to bus services, an easily-deployable traffic plan is only now being discussed.

Swindoncentric will provide one for free. When the Outlet's car parks are full, close them and direct drivers to Bristol Street or to the Brunel Centre's car parks. Needless queues are created by drivers waiting at the ticket barriers, then driving around to find no spaces and queuing to leave. Plus, deploy traffic marshals on Rodbourne Road, Kemble Drive, Paddington and Penzance Drives to keep traffic moving and more specifically bus services.

Christmas is just around the corner, crack on.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 444

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They swept it right into my direction.

9. That seat is the prize seat, second only to the driver's.

8. I waited so long and eventually it happened and it was so quick.

7. You always ask that about my opinion, but I might as well not have one.

6. There was a milky-hue to it, not nice if you're lactose afraid.

5. I presume you nodded politely and left like a shot?

4. The injury was not as terrible to get as you think.

3. I saved your space, but then this happened once we got to the shops.

2. The record of my sales have been sent as far as Telford, I couldn't believe it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I did quite well, I didn't get zombie eyes when he was talking to me.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, November 07, 2018

In Swindon it's too unaffordable to build affordable houses

There was cause for hope when Swindon Borough Council said they were setting up their own housing company. At last, SBC could borrow money at historically low levels, build houses and either rent them (at council housing rates) and/or sell them on the private market. The privately-sold could have returned a profit and helped to pay for the new council houses.

But, of course, that would be too easy.

Instead SBC have built just seven houses, in 18 months of existence.

They do have a plan to build 14 houses in Shaw. Cynical residents say the original plan from the company was to build 16 houses, but that has been reduced as it realised that the plan would legally have to include affordable housing. But as we know all too well with SBC, everything, is always about the money.

Just to hammer-home that point, further sites around town identified for fill-in development by the housing company are due to be sold-off to developers, rather than done in-house.

Will there be a line in the sale contract to make sure the companies who buy the land will develop it in a short period of time and not land bank the purchase and simply fuel the housing shortage?

Of course not, this is all about the money!

- No strict control on design standards by doing it yourself.

- No new council houses to replace those being sold.

- No steady flow of new builds that the council can control.

At least they can use the money to rebrand themselves 'Swindon Housing Land Company'

How vibrant!

Sunday, November 04, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 443

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He put on the hat with the flower in it.

9. I thought all of these shoes were your husband's.

8. We only got as far as question one, it's going to take forever.

7. She took my name and didn't bother.

6. No that'll lead us to a dead end that other drivers have vanished into, never to return.

5. As a child, I remember being quite philosophical.

4. I think you've just got a common face.

3. They'll be in open revolt, mark my words.

2. If they're as good as they claim to be, why are the playing in Mark's back room?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I only watch the X Factor now for the adverts.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 442

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was giant, like the size of a bus, but a really big one.

9. The responsibility lies fairly and squarely with him, not that it'd be noticed.

8. I had eaten loads of chocolate and felt so sick it lasted three days.

7. Tell me it's all about the ego and nothing else.

6. I take her out for a drink, buy her something and give her money, but that's just normal.

5. Keep perspective on it, you're only talking about moss.

4. They cleared out his cupboards and all he got left with was money off vouchers.

3. I thought I could just fall back on my old fashioned tricks.

2. You don't know just how good you look do you, you really don't.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's no option to him sleeping up there, he's only two, I'd never take the risk.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 441

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Keep on like this and you'll get taken to hell on the dual carriageway.

9. I haven't seen him since he was dressed up as a drag queen.

8. You can't spell it that way any more, Google doesn't let you.

7. I know you like chutney more than me.

6. That car has been parked in that exact spot since before Kerry was born.

5. Oh I'll still have shorts on until at least twelfth night I reckon.

4. If he keeps this up his wife will leave him, and then his problems really start.

3. Just because you can afford all this stuff, it doesn't mean it's worth it.

2. No, those buses are mainly made out of old buses, it's all melted down and used again, including the drivers.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. At some point the family are going to find out and they're going to never speak to you ever again.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Backwards, to go Forward, Swindon

The long slow death of Forward Swindon has finally been confirmed.


No-one was surprised. But who has most to gain from it?

The optimist would say, the people of Swindon. The pessimist would say the new Cabinet member responsible for Town Centre regeneration.

There does seem to be a dividing line between the eras of the former Cabinet member, Councillor Perkins and Councillor Heenan.

The Perkins era was known for it's constant stream of optimistic words, staggeringly-slow physical on-the-ground change and constant questions about accountability.

The Heenan era will no doubt see a continuation of these to greater and lesser extents, depending on whether developers, specifically in the town centre, bring the private money that is constantly talked about, but seldom seen.

The end for Forward Swindon seems to have been marked by the tearing-up of the development agreement on Kimmerfields by the council. Plus the subtle changes on the FS website's Kimmerfields page that a development plan would be this autumn, has now become a 'movement strategy' to be 'developed in late 2018' and a plan for the new bus station to be 'finalised in early 2019'.

Reading between the lines, it's easy to see that the Kimmerfields (originally called Union Square) plan will be much different to what was originally proposed. 600,000 square feet of office space was the original plan, made up of half a dozen plots, most of them two or three buildings grouped around central courtyards. These would have had retail space on the ground floors and office space on the upper floors. Some upper floors would have been flats, plus a hotel and multi-storey carpark (maybe without crumbling terracota).

With Councillor Perkins comment that a business wants 100,000 square feet of office at Kimmerfields, that means the site would include fewer, but bigger buildings, that throws off entirely the original plan. 

If the traffic plan needs revising, then maybe Councillor Perkins admission that the new bus station would have no more bays than there currently is on Fleming Way and at the current bus station, will also be revised? He also admitted that there would be no room for additional bays for future bus growth, and that the bus companies would not agree to the plan if it didn't work. In that case, Thamesdown and Stagecoach should set their handbrakes and demand extra space, they may not get another chance to say so.

The business after the 100,000 square feet, is it a new business? A current one that's already in the town and who simply wants newer more up to date office space? Swindon Centric will not reveal!

What the new economic development team in SBC needs to be careful of is what happened to The Parade development, where the headlines were all about the new shiny BHS store to replace the old. Less was said about the new BHS store reducing their floorspace compared to the old store. In a sense a consolidation of investment, rather than an increase in it.

Replacing old buildings for new ones of similar size and use, is simply allowing the town centre to tread water. The replacing of the Wyvern Theatre carpark with the Whalebridge carpark is another expensive example of what essentially is maintenance of current facilities, not an investment to giving the town greater things.

For Kimmerfields to work, the SBC team need to persuade other businesses in on the back of the 100,000 square feet business.

Councillor Heenan being busy with his Sim City in east Swindon could work to the SBC team's advantage. They might be able to get to work on Kimmerfields without someone getting the crayons out and drawing all over the white hoardings. 

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 440

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can't carry on like this all your life.

9. The use of hashtags is overrated to the point of pointlessness.

8. The children were lovely and I miss them greatly.

7. We had a little get-together, nothing too emotional.

6. It's now a weekly ritual.

5. The sushi was not a choice I'd repeat.

4. Come on, I'm not having that, you can get off now.

3. The fair ground rides didn't look safe or clean.

2. You must come round for supper one night.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I always give a sick grin.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, October 07, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 439

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm sure that's not broccoli.

9. You give me way too much credit on that one.

8. You and me brother, all the way to the end of this route.

7. I can't equalise, you've given away all your points.

6. Have you changed your mind at all?

5. That lunch was he nicest I've had in the rain.

4. Going on a limb could be a phrase deemed offensive by me if I wanted.

3. There's lots of options to win her over when it gets towards Christmas.

2. He's really creepy and quite rightly is avoided by all staff.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You've not seen Mamma Mia? Then you have not lived a full life.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 438

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. If I go wrong here I've got to go right round by the opposite side junction which scares me.

9. He brought along sausage rolls and ham sandwiches they were posh.

8. Subway is not somewhere anyone would take a baby.

7. My average evening involves tears and plenty of passive aggressive comments going back and forth.

6. Real life doesn't include what you seem to think it does.

5. For many years it use to be acceptable to drink at lunchtime, now it's acceptable to drink lots at home in the evening.

4. I saw that twinkle in the eye and just kept on talking trying to ignore it.

3. Those shoes are going to be too small and will end up pinching every time you try and dance like that.

2. It was ready ten minutes ago and I'm going to miss the crackling.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They bought us all new ties, it's the best new thing in my wardrobe since popper trousers.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 437

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. So, eggs?

9. It sounded like a comedy trumpet.

8. I saw them, they saw me and they walked straight on by.

7. It's deeply troubling when you see how much work he put into it.

6. There will be something serious, but they owe it to tell the truth.

5. No, I'm not 14, so no, I'm not going to the fair.

4. Predictions include me dying my hair silver.

3. You question me all you want, you will get nothing.

2. It was such a big disagreement I had to keep quiet from roaring across the table.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I am the resistance in our street.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 436

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. No, I was in a proper play.

9. This is the enhanced version of myself.

8. I was overwhelmed with your response to me.

7. That did happen, without a word of a lie.

6. This seat is the worst on the whole bus.

5. They diverted it last week and I had to walk every single day back up the road.

4. If he reverses here we'll go through that wall.

3. You can't film my reaction because I won't react.

2. The pies almost look nicer than they taste.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm in the legends status since I started to go grey.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

The League of Innocent Gentleman


The most newsworthy part of this Adver story is that Councillor Nick Burns-Howell does not know what a 'gentleman's club' is.

Swindon Conservatives should do a whip-round and buy Councillor Nick a voucher for Christmas.

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Anyone for a Cheeky Justin?



Justin Tomlinson got a tour of the new Nandos at the Orbital.

Plenty of quotes about the economic and leisure benefits for residents of the area, but precious little (make that zero) on the nutritional value of a cheeky Nandos. Especially in comparison to other fast-food choices.

Did he go for a good runabout afterwards?

Sunday, September 09, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 435

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's easy street, absolutely easy street.

9. You're not sure, but you're going with the wrong answer anyway.

8. Without that shirt it could look a bit nice.

7. A prawn sandwich can go soggy quicker than you think.

6. It went to sudden death and the entire form lost and it went to the ones in blue.

5. Let's just remember the reason we went, which was for all the free stuff.

4. I've got a couple more points to make, but I'll save it for the next bus journey.

3. There's parts of my body I don't like, like this one.

2. You don't need big sleeves to do that really when you think about it at a basic level.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We came here for one thing and one thing only, knives.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, September 07, 2018

Noddy Promotion in Toyland


Swindoncentric nearly spat out it's coffee on hearing that Councillor Dale Heenan is now cabinet member for the town centre and regeneration.

Councillor Foley's move is slightly less interesting, apart from her quitting two positions before.

Maybe Dale can do a jumble sale to raise money for regenerating the town centre, a few quid will get Kimmerfields built, I'm sure.

I mean, look at the Sim City that is Liden after his the golden touch!

Lets hope he can spell the name of the town.

Thursday, September 06, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 434

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. This is what I'm going to be like into the future though.

9. Biscuits are all she really cares about now.

8. Oh, how gorgeous.

7. I thought I was going to be late after all that.

6. Put the barriers up and we'll all have to go the long way round.

5. It was a little awkward, but I'm use to that by now.

4. Places I grew up in weren't anything like this at all.

3. There are more sandwiches than you can ever imagine.

2. Draw a line under all of that, pull up your socks and move the hell on.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I went to visit him and was thoroughly unimpressed by everything.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 433

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Clear it out the way so I can get this minus through.

9. So gory I nearly fell off my chair.

8. I felt like such a fraud when they started asking the questions.

7. The character of Pat was based on me in my early days.

6. Just give him a headache tablet and it'll all just pass.

5. Did you know what a financial manager did before you started?

4. The facts were not as clear cut as you'd think.

3. I'll be so quiet, Paul would not even know I'd been through it all.

2. The sea makes such a difference to your work life balance when you live inland.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It was good, but didn't really move me like X Factor does.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

On The Slow Train To Daleville

When politicians have to use public services, they quickly realise why the public thinks the way they do about them.

The latest to come-of-age is Councillor Dale 'I-forgot-to-pay-my-council-tax' Heenan, who's realised how pricey railway season tickets are as he commutes to Bath for work.

Maybe Councillor Dale 'There's-only-one-n-in-Swindon''There's-only-one-n-in-Swindon' could get his mate MP Justin 'Can I interest you in a press release?' Tomlinson to explain the railways, as evidence suggest he's nothing but informed and consistent, especially on the topic of fares.

For a railway town, some of our politicians knowledge calls for one announcement, "MIND THE GAP."

Sunday, August 19, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 432

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The lights are on, which isn't the norm for our shops.

9. 6 weeks later, they'll all have a drugs habit.

8. Never let the dog see you bathing, he'll want to be in.

7. Cereal is a total con job.

6. The cable was bought online and it looks well dodge.

5. That gig was a washout, do you remember when the police came in?

4. There was an umbrella stand, who has one of those?

3. It got smuggled in, I had it under my coat.

2. It'll get as high as the top of your neck before it falls down.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I bought a load of new sandals, better start burying them in the garden.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 431

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Pleased as Larry, that is the correct phrase I do believe.

9. It was a right mutt, god knows how it puts up with him.

8. Let's remember that before it use to hang unused in the stairs cupboard.

7. I fully expect them to have crashed by the time they get to the main junction.

6. My float is total rubbish, it'll bring no good today.

5. They forecast rain and here I am in flip flops for all the good it'll do.

4. Their pastries were all reduced to clear, so I bought them all.

3. A bongo drum has been bought, like that's the idea of our age, I think not.

2. Why are people just eating plain rice, fresh air or nothing would be better surely?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's no tune, it's just pot holes.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, August 05, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 430

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You must have caught me on an off day, I was being nice you see.

9. Overtime I hear it, it just fills me with dread.

8. I have never worn sandals how dare you.

7. Everyone's going to be wearing the same thing anyway so there's no need to feel like a fool.

6. Ask me the questions and I'll tell you no lies.

5. Let's remember the real reason we're here, to get stamps.

4. At least you'll know for next time not to do that then in public.

3. Being as bold as you does not become naturally, either to you, or really anyone else.

2. It's not over yet, there's half a mile to go.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Doctor's orders I'm not to put water on it for three weeks, then only clean water.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 429

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's such a hot thing to do.

9. We go back years, as far as the black and white days.

8. It was a very dry letter I received.

7. They set fire to it, which made it better.

6. That addiction is really becoming a problem.

5. The town is so dry it could burn at any moment.

4. You compete with the best for being wrong.

3. Tense your muscles and you'll look hot.

2. Penhill's finest, never a day sick in 20 years.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Okay, where are the buckets, where are the buckets.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 428

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Who allowed him to go in front of a camera?

9. He was working at the direction of head office.

8. They packed all the boxes with foam and filled the lorry with them.

7. I've been using my bathwater two days in a row.

6. That phone you gave me has a label saying 'Cindy' on it.

5. The context isn't important, it's what you say that counts.

4. I didn't add anything to it, I said it exactly as you said to.

3. A major company isn't going to want to see your legs.

2. All the info will be other people's or incorrect.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They're going to charge him to the full extent of the law.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 427

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was a giraffe, but it was reduced.

9. Tongs, that's all I can hear.

8. It'll be a good one, I've put my special trousers on.

7. Nigel doesn't reckon to any of it.

6. Years ago I wanted to be a policeman, but it's a lot of effort.

5. I forgot what I was doing and I went round the roundabout another time.

4. I never use that app, it gave me a rash.

3. They closed the floor and relocated everyone to the Oxford one.

2. I'll take the fast car, you can walk it mate.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Where's the little boys sizes?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 08, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 426

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a scary thing to do.

9. It's a really good deal, let me tell you why.

8. Bananas might eventually die out.

7. I've not done any juicing since the weather turned.

6. I've got a pair of shorts for each day of the week now.

5. They started to melt, we put them back undercover and put a bucket underneath.

4. It compares all the options, then gives you the one you wanted in the first place.

3. The bloke who was in that show about the fishes.

2. By the way, I've already had your lunch.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Personally, I don't think we have a fully functioning pair of sunglasses between us.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 01, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 425

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's what all the hip vegans are doing.

9. I know it's not real, but people really think it's real.

8. It was my first job and I didn't think much of it if I'm honest.

7. They changed the colour on the background and made everyone believe in a con.

6. The seed of an idea is always what I strive for.

5. The woman in charge of it only eats baguettes.

4. I never understood what the point was of braces in your mouth until I had them put in.

3. The left turn has been off for months, I don't think they'll put it back before they move the road.

2. We roared with laughter, nobody cared about the lady who had landed on the man in the chair.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We have diversified.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 424

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's not ideal, but you have to do it.

9. What's the benefit for them to hire you and not someone better?

8. We just rent the space, that's all we do.

7. Dave, don't ask me that, just don't.

6. A kilobyte isn't what you think it is.

5. I ironed this ages ago and it's still holding up.

4. It is unimaginably huge.

3. It's about 250 words per minute you can read.

2. But the population of the UK just does not care really.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The road will hurt you Maximus.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, June 22, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 423

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Michelle's already been through this before and picked it apart.

9. Your tie looks like a battenberg, but I can't really talk can I?

8. It's just rubbish, so crappy.

7. I thought it was ropey even before they changed the rota.

6. Keep that dream alive, but he's not going to leave her any time soon.

5. I hate pizza, it never lives up to it's promise if you think about it.

4. They offered her a place and she turned it down because it was south-facing.

3. I'm not following the business online, it's not something I want to ever be associated with.

2. It's tuna and it's so tasty, I've got some mints for afters.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I just don't believe a single word of it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 422

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Did you find the reaction different in the cafe?

9. That essay was so obscure I can't imagine anyone ever reading it.

8. Mozart isn't what you expect to get played in The Brunel.

7. He once bought some prawns, I don't know what he did with them.

6. It's the wrong method I've known, but it worked.

5. I haven't slept for two nights, so it must be real.

4. I wriggled about, it seemed to work.

3. I had a cheap sandwich, it got me by.

2. Why should they be bothered what I wear on my head?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The sex is different, not bad, just different.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, June 07, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 421

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's not the right size, it won't do the job.

9. There's a shake every time we turn left.

8. No it's next to the shops and right opposite the social club, with the funny roof.

7. If they run it every 20 minutes you'll end up with about one person on each bus.

6. I'm thinking of getting rid of my phone and replacing it with staring out the window.

5. It only takes me 12 minutes to get home, I can't complain really.

4. Like, if you bought that top in Primark and swapped it for the H&M one you'd look so much slimmer.

3. I ignore it when he does this as it's all just to get attention.

2. He wanted to turn it into two flats, but then realised he actually need permission and he gave up.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You know and I know that we both have an issue with each other.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, June 03, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 420

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Were you to be as thin as me we wouldn't be having this conversation.

9. No she's not German but she wants everyone to think that.

8. If it's the World Cup I can forgive that.

7. It's the second stop after that freezer shop with the funny doors.

6. Our cat keeps vanishing for weeks, coming back and smelling of polish.

5. They reckon they'll close, sack everyone, then reopen on cheaper contracts.

4. There's only 20 minutes left now.

3. No, Michelle and I went to Subway, that must have been where we lost you.

2. Where they've reopened it's much bigger, but it hasn't got much atmosphere.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Quinoa isn't all it's cracked up to be when you've got it three days in a row.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 419

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a surge of a kind.

9. That's not a noise, that's a whimper.

8. It's a peak and I think no.

7. Charges are going to be brought you know.

6. A pasty that heats itself up, that's the future.

5. Malcom keeps his pants on even in the shower.

4. If I give him a packet of crisps he keeps quiet for the morning.

3. The prosecco went flat, but it tasted better.

2. That Sharon needs to be more subtle when it comes to her wedding hats.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The fact of the matter is, he doesn't believe in his children.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 418

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You totally ruined the mood with your choice of shoes.

9. It's his birthday, I swear he has two a year.

8. The garden rake has gone walks again, I shall have to speak to my mother.

7. This is the way the world is now, or at least at the moment.

6. In 1976 I lost the end of my middle finger, look.

5. My book would be all about my shameful attitude towards dark chocolate.

4. Hopefully he won't turn up to the wedding dressed in a Nazi outfit.

3. Never been good at figures, I think it stems from having a calculator on my phone.

2. If we all go to protest it'd terrify the living daylights out of them.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I don't want to be married to a supermodel, I want to be married to you.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, May 06, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 417

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He really went out of his way to be helpful.

9. Jess was lovely, but she put on her coat and things started to turn.

8. You can do my job and we'll see just how much you really know.

7. It's named after that latch we had in the kitchen.

6. There was nowhere to park, so we didn't bother going in.

5. There was a chicken curry but it tasted like cake.

4. It wasn't stolen, it was left behind and they never came back for it.

3. I popped in and everyone was in, so I stayed and we had a great old time.

2. Didn't he turn up at her leaving do bragging about his decking?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You can't get much lower than me.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, May 04, 2018

Swindon Election - Within a Hair's Breadth

Labour came within touching distance of taking control of Swindon Borough Council last night, but it was no cigar for the reds.

They did claim a significant piece of turf, taking another seat in the Eastcott ward, out of an area the Lib Dems often claim to be their Swindon home (that home now very small, a bedsit room in an Eastcott HMO probably).

But the yellow's did win in Wroughton & Wichelstowe from the Conservatives, showing that the retired, wealthy blue voters over the M4 can't always be relied upon.

So there is now a one seat Tory majority Swindon Borough Council. Full results here.

Labour will now be pinning their hopes on a by-election that they can gain a seat and the council by.

Any families or gardens out there that need to have more time spent with them?

Anyone?

Wednesday, May 02, 2018

Swindon Election : The Tory Legacy - The Monetisation of Swindon

If the Tories lose their majority on Swindon Borough Council tomorrow it'll mark the passing of an era that's a microcosm of Conservative national policy on one location.

Ultimately it'll mark the passing of the era that shifted from a full-service local authority to the tendering-out of much of it's function, then as the financial crisis started to bite the spinning-off of various remaining parts in an effort to make them profit-centres for SBC. Realising that was impossible for most parts and the cost of bringing them back in house and the final incarnation, an SBC cut back to beyond the bone, with vital bits missing, operating barely with minimal or no financial support and an entire absence of experience and knowledge from it's senior officers.

It saw a body of politicians so out of touch with it's own electorate (scared? Probably) that it imposed a new level of local bureaucracy (parish councils) to offload services and itemise the parish precept to them with explaining it away with "you're paying more because there's a parish now" despite the idiocy of many Borough councillors also now being Parish councillors at the same time.

The loss of economies of scale in contracting, purchasing and administration mean you are paying more and you are getting less, be in no doubt. This advert shows nearly £26,000 for a deputy parish clerk in one parish, plus they'll need an office, a PC, printer/photocopier, a website, I.T. support...

That's not even mentioning wringing cash out of Thamesdown Transport in the good years, then turning face and saying it was responsible when councillors chose to cut bus subsidy to lightly-used routes that could never be commercially run. Then of course selling it off in the end.

Then there's the £400,000 they gave to a businessman and we never saw again, the closure of Sure Start Centres, the axe swung in Dial-a-Ride's direction, the shock-doctrine threatened closure of all the town's libraries (except one), the Lydiard Park cock-up but the continued subsidy to Steam, the sacrifice of land around Coate Water, the roads to nowhere for a decade at Wichelstowe, the privatisation of Swindon Commercial Services (then that being reversed), the spinning-off of adult social care (SEQOL), the bizarre situation where they sponsored the town's half marathon, then it's return to council ownership, and on and on and on.

None of the above was inevitable, councillors get to choose what happens when they run a town, the choices may be limited in some situations, but they still exist.

Swindon has a choice tomorrow, we can choose to have a town with a council who's officers and politicians truly are the servants of the people. Or we can carry on like this.

The choice is ours.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 416

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. That's the wrong sprinkler to think of to use.

9. It was coned off, so I moved the cones and went straight through.

8. I expect he got a meal deal, he's got no imagination.

7. Most of my boys all wear the same thing.

6. Soon we'll get to the corner and they'll all pile on.

5. No, when they pulled it down the sign vanished too.

4. Who's Fleming anyway?

3. That's not the pasty I expected.

2. I only give out my screen name to people I know will get me into trouble.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Once I use to be 21 and that ended in disaster.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 415

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You're doing very well to keep your balance.

9. This usually goes the other way, but today it goes this way.

8. A smart shirt is all it takes.

7. The effort is very little when you factor it in.

6. I'll be realistic and you can continue to kid yourself.

5. When the sun comes out the awful tattoos get to say hello.

4. No-one's said anything, but he is actually breaking the law.

3. So, your mother, has she always been like that?

2. I can recite the entire Star Wars films, now which order shall I do them in?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Last time he did a barbecue we all needed up off work with food poisoning.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 414

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Keep it realistic, no one wears those anymore.

9. Peanuts should be outlawed for being so incredibly boring.

8. I expect nothing less from you.

7. I hid behind the door and waited until they'd gone away.

6. Once they finish at that junction they start on the other one which finishes just in time for my retirement.

5. Honda are not going to hang around if it doesn't get sorted.

4. They swarmed, then I ran, then I woke up.

3. Cheese should taste less gritty than that.

2. Mule heels are hell, just pure hell, sent from the devil to kill my feet.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We can't decide what to get them until we know their colour-scheme.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 08, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 413

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You really have to prove yourself if you take it like that.

9. There's no gin let, I'm telling you.

8. It's not true that those pants are her pants.

7. Originally it was done on the stage, in New York I believe, or Gloucester.

6. You've dredged the bottom now.

5. She never looks you in the eye, which I find very off-putting.

4. It doesn't matter how many times you ask me.

3. I really don't fancy that on today of all days.

2. Subway is where you go when you can't think of anywhere better go for lunch.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Since I've stopped my nose doesn't tingle any more.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 01, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 412

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's the second generation being far quicker than before.

9. The invention itself will be laughably slow.

8. He stayed in bed all day when I was on my way to the airport.

7. There's nothing sexy about a bus journey.

6. But Easter is all about eggs, eggs made of cheese.

5. Her and her boyfriend spend their nights out looking at their own phones.

4. My clothes don't seem to last as long as they did.

3. France nearer than you think, it takes longer sometimes to get across Bristol.

2. If I got the kingfisher on a wire, how would I put it in the garden and make it stand out?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Well if it goes wrong, I can just get divorced.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 411

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Lets keep thinking of ways I can make him understand what I mean.

9. But there's no chocolate about.

8. If that news comes out then it's game over for them.

7. He always brings it at the last moment and never takes it away for months.

6. She'll come round and she'll just sit and drink tea and not help.

5. I don't think they'll be able to sell them at the current price.

4. It's not mid-Victorian.

3. This dress keeps creasing in the wrong places.

2. Running it themselves looks like a plan for disaster.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Worse case scenario, I fall off and die they think.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 410

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. We need to spread it around.

9. It keeps cropping up now and again.

8. It's not a skirt, but it says it is.

7. I've got me Jaffa Cakes, so I'm all set.

6. I couldn't believe how warm it was, I put on my thin coat.

5. He only wears branded-underpants.

4. Holistically is a business word for not properly solving the problem.

3. But Tesco always leaves me with a sour taste.

2. I wouldn't really call Kingshill a hill, more a mound.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's a critical relationship.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 409

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There's no evidence to suggest anyone knows.

9. Talent, what talent?

8. The wallet was empty, so I just took my cards with me.

7. This is a total joke.

6. Social, I really hate it, it's not social at all when you really think about it.

5. Except for the details in the email, I think it's a front for trouble.

4. We're a long way from negotiations.

3. I keep bumping into her at the bus station, it's very awkward.

2. It buzzes even when I just turn it from upright to side on.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. But it's so shiny I have to cover it up at night.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 04, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 408

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You really do not understand how a person's brain works.

9. Not many people know my mate Paul.

8. I've never seen one like this before.

7. We're not going to get there straight away, it'll take some time.

6. It's not a soft drink, it's got alcohol in it.

5. It's not a leading name, I mean, I don't know it.

4. Recalling it is quite difficult now.

3. Both ends of the same thing can be seen at once.

2. There was an earthquake, but I was surprised nothing happened afterwards.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. This is my world, this is where I belong.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.