Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 110

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He took me to one side, the other side was occupied.

9. Don't do the obvious, do the strange.

8. It's a ghost bus, there's never anyone on it, not even a driver.

7. Stop picking at it, it'll get worse.

6. Jordan's got swine flu, poor thing.

5. I'm a petite size 9.

4. Making anything rhyme with Malcolm isn't easy.

3. I have half an hour before they threaten me again.

2. The sandwich is toast.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Something just fell off the bus, just above the driver's neck!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Caution : Unmapped Road Ahead

Swindon switched off it's fixed speed cameras yesterday because the Borough Council doesn't feel the £320,000 it spends per year is value for money for five cameras.

Wiltshire Police will still monitor motorists with mobile units and speed guns.

The money is to be used instead for other strategies to improve and maintain road safety... but even the council aren't sure what they are yet. “We believe there are better ways we can reduce the accidents on our roads than just through the use of speed cameras" , says Councillor Greenhalgh, but then doesn't say what methods will be employed instead.

Councillor Greenhalgh then goes on to let us know how much he doesn't like speed humps either. Judging by the speed hump issue in Freshbrook (they are to be gotten rid of, as reported in the latest issue of The Link Magazine), he seems to be well on his way to winning the votes of motorists for his party nationally at the next election.

The drive for popularity and votes for the Conservatives is reenforced by Councillor Greenhalgh's comment in the Council press release on the issue, "In Swindon we are developing a reputation for challenging the status quo and being at the forefront of new thinking." That sounds like they're excited at getting all this attention from the other children at school. Golly!

Swindon Centric Says ; The press release even states that they will "continue to work on a new road safety strategy."
Wouldn't it have been logical to have a new safety strategy in place before switching off the cameras? Once again, it seems joined-up-thinking has passed Swindon councillors by, at a great, unchecked speed.

Bar the work by Wiltshire Constabulary and their speeding equipment, Swindon's road safety strategy appears to be, 'we'll keep our fingers crossed and keep a sharp eye out'.

Made In Swindon 3 - First Town Redevelopment Area Looks A Picture

Despite the relatively unpredictable weather over the last few weeks, local artist Ken White has done stirling work on repainting his mural. Swindon Centric talked to Ken last week and he remarked that he would dart for cover into the small container when the rain began, fortunately none of the repainting has run in the wet weather.

Swindon Centric Says ; Ken expected to be finished by the end of today.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 109

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She's the grandmother-in-chief.

9. The clock is running.

8. Road humps be damned, here I go!

7. It smells worse than Destiny's armpit.

6. You say potato, I say ; potential chip-based meal.

5. They are mounting like a pile of unsold cardboard recycling.

4. He wrote the whole series and didn't go mad.

3. I know all the lyrics, but don't know the tune.

2. The cholesterol is washing over me right now.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. When they misspelt my job, 'booker' on the website, I had to change my phone number.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 108

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I faked an English accent all the way home.

9. A stand-up bloke if there ever was one.

8. Would you like to get a cup of coffee?

7. There are no depths to which he will plunge.

6. You have to tell her the truth, that one leg is shorter than the other.

5. Don't sit there, that seat is cursed.

4. Deep, deep down, I wonder what she's thinking.

3. Your sense of style could put the fear of the devil into Donna Karan.

2. The flooding is a ploy, there is a secret plot afoot in this town.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He died with his balloon on.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Twice The News, Half The Story, None Of The Redevelopment

There seems to be some (more than usual) confusion emerging about a town centre developer going into administration this weekend.

As Swindon Centric reported Thursday, Swindon Borough Council officially announced that the Regent Place plan was dead, due to "Modus Ventures' financial difficulties" (read financial difficulties as, in administration) on Tuesday. This was despite Modus being reported as in administration on 29th of May by the BBC.

Swindon Centric Says ; So, there isn't ANOTHER developer going bust, it's still Modus. Meanwhile, we're still waiting for our town centre.

For One Bus, The Number Is Up

No, the headline doesn't refer to a service being withdrawn, indeed, some buses seem to be thriving, in stark contrast to others.

According to their Annual Report for the year to April, Stagecoach West lists the number 49 route (Swindon to Trowbridge via Devizes), the 'Trans-Wilts Express' as seeing a 14.8% increase in passengers.

Hooray to all staff and passengers!

Swindon Centric Says ; Will this inspire Swindon Borough Council to reinvigorate the Groundwell Park & Ride and make it work? Probably not.

Musing On The Mode Of Town Centre's Stagnation

Swindon Borough Council have now officially announced that the Regent Place scheme, championed by Modus, is dead.

However we're assured that the Union Square (old Fleming Way Post Office site) scheme, to be carried out by Muse, is "moving ahead".

But this small piece of news from last year shows an ironic twist. A celebratory lunch (was it on expenses? Surely not!), organised by Anne Snelgrove MP wasn't attended by the group it was arranged for, Muse (in recognition of the Union Square deal). So instead, the crustless sandwiches and little cakes were in honour of the people from Modus, celebrating the Regent's Regent Place deal.

Oh the irony.

Swindon Centric Says ; If the Union Square scheme gets built, I'll give Anne Snelgrove and everyone at the New Swindon Company a jam donut*. Probably, depending on the current economic conditions and what the response of the market is to a donut-based investment in the vibrant hub that is Swindon.

* Offer is subject to withdrawal at anytime.

New Wedding Service Route

Swindon Centric is wondering if the wedding gossip will turn up on next week's top ten list.

Congratulations to Elaine and Mark.

Swindon Centric Says ; New route, exact 'yes' or 'no' only please, no waiting.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 107

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I would only ever consider that if I was a major lead in a soap.

9. I hear they got it worse in the street opposite.

8. Grab your cockles and lets go.

7. The 14, 29, then 1 and 1A.

6. Why does everyone have to like The Beatles?

5. Sarah Perry is hotter than a bag of chips.

4. I'm meant to get off at the stop after the shopping centre, which one?

3. Keep your eyes on me and see if I lie.

2. I have a selection of options available, but I can't remember any of them.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Would you care to start with a cocktail, or should we just get down to it?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Mural Restoration - The Excellent Side Of Regeneration

The New Swindon Company may have been around since the town centre didn't quite look as bad as it does now, but not much has happened of note since then.

So Swindon Centric declares that the best part of anything in the town centre is the repainting of the Golden Lion Bridge Mural by it's creator, Ken White.

Swindon Centric Says ; You can tell this isn't a New Swindon Company project, because this one is actually going to happen.

Where else should we have a new generation of murals in Swindon? Ideas welcome.

Made In Swindon 2 - Music - The Boy Done Good Single, Out Now

Letting you know that local band, The Boy Done Good, have their debut single, Walk On Woman (the video of which is above) out now, to download on itunes, play.com, plus the B-side, You See Her, the video for which is below.

Swindon Centric Says ; As she comes and she goes, walk on woman.

Councillors Keep Hands Off Lifeboat Plug... For Now

As Komadori has noted, the council seem to be taking a very picky attitude to anyone who's a street trader in the town centre, which in a recession seems foolhardy.

The one saving grace, at least, for the minute, is the delaying on making a decision until the committee has more information (a shocking flash of honesty there).

Swindon Centric Says ; Similar to pulling a plughole out of a lifeboat after the ship has sunk and the lifeboat is all you have. Those street traders better invest in some armbands.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 106

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She's hot, take a look.

9. Have you tried readjusting your RAM?

8. The icing thicken rather too quickly for my liking.

7. She'll go into the next year with a new tutor and an old attitude.

6. I shouted, threw a few things, seemed to do the trick.

5. We're at a category 3, when it goes up to 4, things will start falling from the sky.

4. I'm sick of people going on about the weather, but it has been hot, hasn't it?

3. Once they reach the end of the route the driver gets out and has a little dance.

2. Your positive thoughts have been duly noted but I'm still scared to death.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I can't believe I've just had a letter from Marks & Sparks recalling my three year old hammock, due to weather deterioration.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Made In Swindon - Blog - Graham Carter's Foghorn Bloghorn

Searching for pictures for use in the bus list for last week and the week before, I stumbled on Graham Carter's blog, with the fantastic name The Foghorn Bloghorn.

Swindon Centric Says ; There's a link to Graham's site in the right hand column and here's one too, a great addition to Swindon's online presence.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 105

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's their golden years, more like gold-plated.

9. I couldn't even spell the word, never mind say it.

8. It's a fares boundary, like a church, it's hallowed and special ground.

7. By now the situation's a level playing field.

6. It's a press release from a marketing company dressed up in a news story's clothes.

5. There are several reasons I didn't go, none of which are true.

4. Whether they might try and tell, you should never try and bake a fishcake.

3. I'm easy, but don't put that around, I have a reputation to uphold.

2. They didn't have any unconcentrated orange juice, so I had a double-brandy.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. His car sounds like a washing machine which could be a cunning marketing ploy, but he never said so if it was.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Brunel Tries To Hold Back The Tide

This was the scene this morning at ten o'clock at the Havelock Street entrance to the Brunel Centre. Just before the picture was taken, three or four white-shirted managers surveyed the work with brooms, before vanishing, no doubt for a cup of tea.

Swindon Centric Says ; It's unconfirmed at this hour whether the barricade was an effort to stem the flow of water after the previous half-hour's downpour, or to keep back the tide of low quality shopping in Havelock Square. It's also uncertain if either effort was successful.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 104

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's not your fault, what an excuse.

9. We bonded over belgian buns.

8. My primary school is incredibly small, either that, or I got really big.

7. Glasses, contact lenses and chicken all reduced.

6. I was pushed into this, I wanted to be on the 19.

5. Everything can be recycled, nearly.

4. She's arriving in about 7 minutes, give or take 10 minutes.

3. It doesn't get much bigger than this, look.

2. If you wear a face mask, it doesn't show you're responsible, it shows that you want attention.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You really can't argue with a woman of that build.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Poetry Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 103

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

Don't forget this too, poetry for every bus user.

10. I'll bet we'll be about five minutes late.

9. Please take a bite of this excellent cake.

8. The 14 or 29, it really doesn't matter.

7. Portion control's a myth, you'll still get fatter.

6. No, drinking that here is a fineable crime.

5. I've told you twice, get in the line.

4. Single or Travelpass, plus a pensioner to boot.

3. Don't look now, but that was my foot.

2. 'Formidable', or 'Daring' you could say at best.

1. 'Saints, 'Earls' and 'Westerns' making up the rest.

A special thanks to Komadori for throwing down the gauntlet for this week!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

The Need For An Extra-Large Swindon

The need for a rolling programme of building work on all edges of the town has been reenforced with the consultation on the Eastern Development Area.

Never mind about the houses still being built in North Swindon, or the lonely looking few houses in the very green Front Garden, lets get strategised for constant growth up to the middle of the century.

Swindon Centric Says ; The consultation ends on the 15th of June, so if you wish to, make your voices heard.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 102

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I think I'm going to get harassed, which I'm strangely looking forward to.

9. It means nothing if we don't get above 37%.

8. Justifying that is like trying to argue that less trees are good for sawmills.

7. Operation Chocolate is officially launched!

6. That's awfully polite of them, we accept.

5. Birth control pills are harmful, especially if you're trying for a baby.

4. I'm looking forward to the small stubby pencils.

3. Then we get all this money to expand transport, madness.

2. An old-fashioned sweet shop, right here in Swindon.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He drove hell-for-leather to get here, realised there was no-one in and kicked in the front door, he didn't even leave a note, how rude.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Made In Swindon - Music - The Boy Done Good

Starting a new strand here on Swindon Centric, 'Made In Swindon' aims to showcase that far from being a cultural desert, there's genius in this town, if you care to look...

Hence, The Boy Done Good and their single, Walk On Woman, which is being released on 29th of June.



Swindon Centric Says ; The song is even being talked about on the buses.

Town Centre Starts To Crumble

Since we're going to have to wait an awfully long time before any significant development happens in the town centre (apart from the BHS rebuild), the next best course should be maintaining what we currently have.

But oh no.

The stopped Jubilee clock has been unplugged for nearly a year and neither Swindon Borough Council, nor the Brunel Centre, who supplied the power, seem to care about it. How difficult can it be to plug a clock back in?'. Now, along with the empty shops and the stopped clock, we can put down the incredibly poor quality paving that runs around the outside of the Brunel Centre. Specifically the stretch from Havelock Square to Regent Street. Swindon Centric witnessed a man trip over the uneven storm drain covers that run where the old Brunel Centre canopy roofs used to stand. He didn't just trip, he nearly ended up smashing his face on the uneven and broken paving slabs.

The quality of the flooring is in stark contrast to that in Regent Street, which is in far better shape and brightens up the shopping street.

Swindon Centric Says ; Is the Brunel Centre going to bring their paving outside the centre up to an acceptable standard? In this case, they are being shown up by the Council, which isn't a comparison to be proud of.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 101

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's called Walk On Woman, by The Boy Done Good.

9. I can see her intentions from here, especially when she bends down.

8. Probably use it for landfill or something.

7. What does the 'a la mode' mean when people have apple pie?

6. You better have put cream on that, I'm not rubbing it in.

5. Sadistic, like the person who keeps re-commissioning Last Of The Summer Wine.

4. Such a beautiful horizon.

3. Every other person is huge, like Chief Wiggum on holiday.

2. 'Crop circles in Lawns', now there's a headline.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Park & Ride is too modern an invention for the Council to work out how to run, they're all being sent on training courses to use their kettles next week.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Missing The Stop ; Transport Policy Can't Keep To Time

The inability of Swindon Borough Council to have a coherent transport policy is the one clear thing to emerge from the murk of the closure of the Groundwell Park & Ride.

After ten years of operating the Park & Ride from the Groundwell (formerly The Copse) site, the Council decided to close it, due to a lack of sufficient numbers to cover the cost. This failure of policy (how long do you need to make changes to a service to make it cost neutral, ten years would seem to be more than enough time?) has been clouded with councillors now saying that the Groundwell site was in the wrong place all along, the phrase, a poor workman blames his tools, springs to mind.

The Groundwell closure, combined with the news of the extension of the number 11 into Wichelstowe, with council subsidy, (a district with just one family in residence) shows a vast lack of joined-up-thinking in the transport policy.

Firstly, the council was unwilling to subsidise the Park & Ride at Groundwell further. But, if over 10 YEARS, the council had worked to make it revenue neutral and tried, it wouldn't have to.

Secondly, the council is willing to subsidise the route extension of the 11 into East Wichel, before a bulk of people move in, because it believes it's better to have a service up and running before people are there to use it.

Thirdly, the 11 is a route that combines a usual service route with that of serving the Wroughton Park & Ride site. Did the council learn nothing from this route, that they could have combined the Groundwell site with a current route and share costs through cross-subsidising?

Swindon Centric Says ; Swindon, overall, has an excellent bus network, development over the last years has seen more regular evening services, the GPS at bus stops (for Thamesdown only) and a young fleet of modern vehicles, from both Stagecoach and Thamesdown.

However, our inability to operate more grown up 'add-ons', like Park & Ride and night buses, smacks of a town that comes across as amateurish and that doesn't pay attention to detail when it comes to vital core policies.

If other places can do these, why can't we?

Hide & Ride ; Transport Policy Gets Thrown Under The Bus

So, did Thamesdown Transport apply within the 56 days and keep it under wraps, or under the shorter timescale?

Either way, the last three days of the Groundwell Park & Ride are the final gasps of Swindon Borough Council's corpse of a transport policy.

Swindon Centric Says ; In the end, the Council didn't want it to stay open, if they had, they would have merged it with the 17 or some altered service to keep it open.

The decision had already been made before the consultation happened, full stop.

Park & Ride Has Two Numbers On It's Side - 56 & 17

The recent rumours about the closure details of the Groundwell (The Copse) seem to have omitted one small, but important, detail.

Under the 1985 Transport Act, a period of 56 days notice is required before a change to a bus service.

However, an application may be made at short notice for various reasons, including 'to meet an urgent and exceptional public passenger transport requirement', or, 'for reasons which could not have been foreseen at 56 days notice.'

Now bar the transport commissioner interpreting the 'urgent and exceptional' or 'not have been foreseen at 56 days' as the council being incapable of formulating a transport policy and believing in it, looks like the 56 days grace will apply before any closure.

Swindon Centric Says ; Just divert a current service bus,(17 perhaps?) into the park and ride and allow the facility to continue in use while allowing a more successful route to absorb some of the cost.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 100 Not Out

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I always get those two mixed up.

9. Never mind his eyes, I think he needs an IQ test.

8. Looking right over her shoulder at me.

7. Ben Affleck was surprisingly good.

6. It's on it's last legs.

5. The Illuminati runs most of Swindon, weekdays only of course.

4. It's all based on anti-matter, which isn't the most solid of foundations.

3. They now do breakfast, which is a form of small evolution, as they now cover all the days meals from dawn till dusk.

2. There was more interference than you'd expect with an aerial of that size.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's the last of the series, now I can get back to having a life, of sorts.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 99

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Celebrate diversity, yeah, we did all that.

9. I'll have to stop you right there, because I really don't care.

8. It's being diverted, which should be, well, diverting.

7. Take the 2, the 14 or whichever even number you like, they all go there eventually.

6. It's all funny voices and hackneyed old jokes, how funny.

5. It's a tradeoff between letting it fall to pieces because it's not 100% original, or having a functional building with modifications.

4. It's what makes me the delight that I am, even at 7.30 in the morning.

3. He wasn't in the room, it doesn't matter, that's the end of it.

2. Black pumps would set off the trousers perfectly.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They reported it to me, I weighed the pros and cons and didn't agree with them not one, single bit.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Oh So Quiet... Granville Street Development On Hold

A day after the scheme for the residential tower at Regent Circus was shelved, due to the recession, another part of another area due for building has been announced to be going the same way, fast.

The Regent Place (not to be confused with the college site at Regent Circus) area of 'The Hub' area of the rebuilding of the town centre, on the Granville Street carpark, has been shelved for the moment as the retail sector readjusts during the recession.

An attempt at reassurance came out of Councillor Young that the 'Union Square' area (formerly called 'The Exchange' and located on the swathes of land between Fleming Way, the bus station and the railway station) is signed and sealed contract-wise.

Swindon Centric Says ; The New Swindon Company don't seem to be doing much to justify their existence, except renaming the development areas as a marketing team might do the same for a theme park.

Expecting a runaway mine money train to be put into the plans for Regent Place any day now, once the market picks up of course.

Every Little Helps, But Tesco Might Not Be At Regent Circus

Where Swindon Centric leads, others follow, with the Adver today publishing details about the Regent Circus back-and-forth discussions.

So the majority of the scheme is still alive, but the tower plan has been put on hold for the moment, maybe after the recession it'll rise with the green shoots. But the supermarket will either be Morrisons, Waitrose, Somerfield (soon to be the Co-op) or Tesco.

Swindon Centric Says ; As long as the cinema scheme is retained, then, after 5pm, the area won't go dead like most of the town centre at the moment.

Every Little Helps With Regent Circus Development

A short story on BBC Radio Wiltshire this morning suggested that contracts are on the verge of being signed for the supermarket that will be part of the Regent Circus development. This ties with this post at the end of last month about the redevelopment negotiations.

Coincidentally, an overheard conversation in the town centre today suggested that Tesco, currently hidden away underneath Debenhams, will relocate "further up town".

Swindon Centric Says ; Will it be Tesco that will sit on the former college site?

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 98

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Don't start until you get enough.

9. Get out of the shower now.

8. Apparently, Swindon wasn't amused by Franz Ferdinand.

7. No-one wears a watch anymore.

6. Sensational isn't too strong a word.

5. That wind couldn't be stiffer if it had been starched and ironed.

4. I've had comments from others and they don't like it either.

3. You've lost your locking nut, I can tell from the rattling.

2. Don't sit there, are you mad?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It was funny, but only to those in a suicidal mood, that crowd isn't that discerning.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 97

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm innocent on all charges.

9. It was absolute durge.

8. People are suffering in Coleview too you know.

7. The clock still doesn't work.

6. It's amazing the cost of carrier bags these days.

5. I suffocated her with a mountain of memos.

4. It's very full, but at some point, everyone will get off.

3. It's reasonable to assume I'm going to be late.

2. I'm soo outside the bubble, I can't even see it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Coming soon, an exciting new joke on that, I'm working on it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 96

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm open to the idea, though I'm not mad about it.

9. The tape was entirely wiped, there's no evidence.

8. At least in this dress, no one can see my intentions.

7. They're moving all the stops.

6. How many bags can I safely carry onto the bus?

5. My stop, hurrah!

4. I find it quite pleasing, keep going.

3. It takes a while but drops me right outside.

2. He hasn't been on a bus for years, I doubt he'd know what to do.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I hate it when you're standing and get a text, you can't answer, I've tried it, you fail at both things at once.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 95

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Even if you wanted to, why would you steal all that toothpaste?

9. It's played by a large number of men with odd shaped balls.

8. So long, until tomorrow.

7. That seems to be a mighty big omission, does it not.

6. It's only open for 3 days a week, 4 months a year.

5. I find that if I wait until the corner to press the bell, it keeps them on their toes.

4. It's a fish based dish, he said he didn't like salmon, but ate three and must have liked it.

3. I start every day by asking myself, "why not?"

2. How many more things can Ricky Gervais make that aren't funny?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. A councillor got asked about the non-working clock and appeared to be stumped.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 94

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I've called you already, come get your dinner.

9. There's a spatula under your seat.

8. That jewellery looks awfully good on you.

7. I love his pants, perhaps too much.

6. It bothers me less as the time goes on.

5. No goat's cheese salad for you.

4. You take it out once the top starts to go brown and crispy.

3. If you want me to come round and have a look at your pipes, just tell me when.

2. It's a home opener, the game of summer.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I can't believe that the clock STILL isn't working.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 93

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It doesn't take much, just a glimpse of a slip.

9. High School Musical 4, come on!

8. It's in quad-sound.

7. Lets smash those calories into dust.

6. She's far more interesting than ITV at prime-time, which isn't saying much.

5. Oh my dear old thing.

4. Have you see what they're wearing, anything they like, they've no sense of fashion anymore.

3. What's with the number of old people wearing coats and scarves when it's 17 degrees and sunny?

2. He told me to suck on that, but I'd had a rather heavy lunch, so killed the atmosphere stone dead.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I never catch the bus, I risk being seen by people who know who I am, doesn't mean to say I know who they are though.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 92

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I make the same sound as him, but he doesn't like it.

9. There was an awful lot of 'he'.

8. It was wonderful none-the-less.

7. Metalwork is where the fun is at, if Swindon College would have you believe.

6. You've had some of these already, but have some more.

5. I won't be taken seriously.

4. He never gets called a professional man-about-town.

3. Save the library, it's only open for a couple of hours a week.

2. I'm being bugged by the damp course.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. At least it wasn't diarrhoea, then we'd have needed stronger bags.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Joined Up Thinking On Development & Regeneration ; Current Forecast - Patchy

The failure of the Council to specify and give guidance for what will replace the Tented Market (several lacklustre proposals were rejected) contrasts with the longer-term discussions about a snow-dome for North Star.

You'd be forgiven for thinking the railway line marks the dividing line between councils, but alas, the failure to develop the small-fry site that is the Tented Market is brought to you by the same people that seem grown-up enough to talk long term on plans for North Star's leisure facilities.

At least the building at the top of Farnsby Street hasn't been demolished, so can be made of use again. Hopefully the traders who could occupy it again will be selling a wide and interesting range of products. Whether that's food, tools, CDs/tapes/vinyl, mobile phone covers etc. Any chance of a specialist bookshop, or maybe an art gallery?

Swindon Centric Says ; Are the people in charge of economic development, regeneration, leisure, recreation, sustainability and strategic planning unable to concentrate on more than one plan at once? Can you explain their inconsistency?

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 91

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I had it stuck in my teeth for several hours.

9. It's entirely fictionalised.

8. If he doesn't like what they turn out like, why does he keep giving them permission to do it?

7. Who isn't in the mood for a nice grisly murder?

6. I was woken up halfway through by the sound of my own snoring.

5. I'm not so highbrow as you two.

4. Were you conned, are you going to admit it to us?

3. I'd like to be a lot fitter, but my legs aren't long enough.

2. It's hard, hard work, he's not use to it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. These balls are going straight back to the shop as soon as I can manage to lift them.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Bright Eyes Not So Bright For Some Cats

Things are getting desperate in the county if this story is anything to go by, from the mean (and slightly less reflective) streets of Broad Town. Sounds like a case for DI Maggie Forbes and the CATS team.

Swindon Centric Says ; Are there vast amounts of cash to be made from the flogging of cat's eyes to, either blind cats, or road construction companies? Lets check the market conditions of ebay...

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 90

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. How can playing the same song once every hour be called 'music variety'?

9. You'll need red kryptonite to keep people from sitting next to you.

8. There's nothing wrong with that shop, didn't the Queen get her Christmas puddings from there last year?

7. The flute is the most misunderstood of all the instruments.

6. She could use the mashed potato to fill in the cracks on her face.

5. If there's blood on the tracks, it'll be the wrong type of blood.

4. According to this machine, I'm corrupt.

3. Where are you, I'm over here.

2. I haven't had a cold since about 1998, so that's damned good going.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Experimental aircraft, that's what those lights were, but don't breath a word.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Chinese Takeaway As Pagoda Is Left Deserted

The country's biggest chinese restaurant, the Pagoda Palace, has closed without warning.

Formerly the Chinese Experience, customers have lost deposits, phones have been disconnected and the interior fittings having been cleared. The Chinese pagoda-style building remains a landmark in West Swindon, the building was especially striking just after opening when most of the Peatmoor area was yet to be constructed.

Lost motorists would be left scratching their heads as they drove up Mead Way ; there was a lagoon-side Chinese Palace in the middle of the Wiltshire countryside. Am I seeing things?

Swindon Centric Says ; Someone's got to snap up this building, even in the recession, it's a landmark that needs to be empty for as short a time as possible. Last thing we need is another vacant landmark building.

You've Overshot the Consultation Street Stop, Hello?

That seems to be the case on the Groundwell Park & Ride cut.

The passengers trying to save their service reported that the staff at the site had already been paid their redundancy money, before the council meeting, on Monday evening (at which the final decision on the service was meant to be made).

As the dust begins to clear, but the question that no-one seems to be asking the council is why had staff already been given redundancy money before the 'final decision' was made?

Swindon Centric Says ; Was the consultation a sham? Would councillors like to answer this question and explain?

PS - How can the cabinet member for 'Sustainability, Transport & Strategic Planning' (Peter Greenhalgh) seriously dismiss the increase in cars driving into the town centre by saying that this would be cancelled out by not having the park and ride buses running? (This was reported in the Adver's print edition)

Is Mr Greenhalgh aware that a bus only needs to be a third full to be more efficient than the equivalent number of single-occupancy utilised cars? Or does he think all the Groundwell site commuters will be driving into town in hybrids and electric cars when the site closes? Perhaps he's thinking some of them might be Mr Fusion powered DeLoreans?

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 89

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The bus just goes round and round all day.

9. But luckily for me I don't have a job and can spend the day watching press conferences.

8. A stapler shouldn't be called a 'paper adhesive production device', unless you want the hardest of slaps.

7. Her makeup is always two degrees away from a drag queen's.

6. I'm loving the shoes by the way, who's wardrobe did you swipe them from?

5. What you doing here, shouldn't you be in London driving a van?

4. Cherries and bananas are just fruits is like saying acids and drain cleaners are soft drinks.

3. Fashion is a war.

2. It's a ball, it's ball shaped, I don't know how much more I can do to describe it to you.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

CORRECTION : Swindon Centric, thanks to the Director General, now knows his east from west...

1. The number 1 now ends at Fleming Way, where the even number takes the journey onward to the east.

Overheard something we've missed? Let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 88

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. What is the capital city of Taiwan?

9. I know that song, I use to work as the entertainment manager in Woolworths.

8. Change, I'll give you change.

7. A new bike, he'll go to school on a penny-farthing if I have my way.

6. She's on shift for six hours, that means we can go in every 20 minutes and drive her right round the twist.

5. It's the most nutritionally dense food going, unlike ITV primetime programming, which is just dense.

4. They took a sample and found that the centre of the trunk was almost entirely rotten.

3. Something you can really get your teeth into, icing sugar is delicious.

2. Valentine's Day is such a hoot for those who have risen above the fray and can gloat at those who have to pretend to be happy for the sake of their partner.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. If he gave it to you and you've got no symptoms, that means you're a courier... no, carrier sorry.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 87

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I only have eight minutes or less to entertain him.

9. Who would have put us together, not me.

8. The timetable is written by the same people who write political manifestoes.

7. She flew down the bus and hit her head on the validator machine, it started beeping the invalid sound.

6. It's all pillow-talk, don't believe a word.

5. Broccoli, mushrooms and those things that are like mini onions with a funny name like my cousin, Charlotte.

4. He'd never seen Hustle, he kept going on about that crap show, The Real Hustle.

3. Everything is a fight to him, he refused to let the weather beat him and made his way into his the-world-will-end-if-I-don't-get-into-work job on Thursday and Friday.

2. I shook my fish supper on the pavement and created a haven of friction in a land of frozen frictionless wastes.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The town's out of grit, I'm out of my depth and we're out of options, that's it, call Bruce Willis.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

The Snow - Best Place To Bury Bad News

There are reports today that council tax is expected to rise by 3.5% and the information has been accidently 'leaked' out.

A couple of things about this are rather smelly.

Firstly, this number comes from papers which are to be used at a cabinet meeting on Wednesday when a decision will be made. Surely no decision will be made about the final figure until the meeting? Otherwise the process is a farce if, behind closed doors, an agreement about the number has been made, the meeting would be rather pointless.

Secondly, when Shirley Ludford on Swindon 105.5 mentioned the story in a phone interview with councillor Nick Martin this morning, his response was, "oh, it's been leaked out, has it?" Now the cynic in me thought he sounded not-at-all surprised. But maybe that's the view you get of leaks of information when you've been in office as long as Mr Martin has.

Thirdly, is this a preemptive 'lets make the figure worse than it is, then come in with a lower one, the real one, to everyone's relief and be seen in good light for manipulating people's expectations' ploy?

Swindon Centric Says ; A genuine leak? An 'authorised one? A political spinning of the council tax?

Which one is it? We'll have to wait until the thaw to see what's under the snow.

Where Swindon Centric Goes, Others Struggle To Keep Up

The team at SwindonWeb have only just just reported on the story about The Apartment closing, one week after Swindon Centic broke the story.

Swindon Centric Says ; Expecting The Adver to get this story in a month or two. After the venue has closed and reopened as something else, several times over.

Chaos Begins To Thaw - Swindon Gets The Feeling Back In It's Extremities

The following emergency alterations are in operation:

1/1A: Now operating normal routes.

11: Operating from Rodbourne Arms via Moredon Road, Haydonleigh Drive and Westfield Way to Haydon Wick, not serving Greenmeadow.

13/14: Now operating normal routes.

17: Now operating normal route.

18: Not serving Sparcells Drive.

19: Operating via Marlborough Road to Coate Water and GW Hospital, not serving Windsor Road or Queens Drive.

21: Not serving Ramsbury Avenue at Penhill.

23: Not serving St Helen’s View at Okus, terminating at Tithebarn Crescent.

24: Not serving Whitworth Road, Greenmeadow, Haydon Wick or Ash Brake. Running direct via Cricklade Road to St Andrew’s Ridge and Blunsdon.

Services 26, 43A, 46, 47, 48, 48A, 53, 53B and all school buses are cancelled today.

Stagecoach in Swindon are operating a limited service on routes 7 (every 15 minutes), 51 (As per the timetable from 1420) 54 (Swindon / Wroughton only) & 55 (every 30 minutes).

All other Services are cancelled for the remainder of the day.

Robotic Snowmen Stalk The Streets - Update

A few extra details now about the Doctor Who Christmas Special-like chaos that has been dumped upon Swindon.

Thamesdown services ;

The following emergency alterations are in operation:
1/1A Terminating in West Swindon at Link Centre, not serving Grange Park, Ramleaze or Middleleaze.
11 Terminating at Rodbourne Arms, not serving Greenmeadow or Haydon Wick.
13,14 Teminating at Moredon (Boundary House), not serving Haydon Wick.
17 Operating via Grafton Road at Penhill, stop at Fairford Crescent not being served.
18 Not serving Sparcells Drive.
19 Not serving Marlborough Road, Lawn or GW Hospital.
21 Not serving Penhill Valley.
23 Not serving St. Helen's View, terminating at Tithe Barn Crescent.
24 Not serving Whitworth Road, Greenmeadow, Haydon Wick or Ash Brake. Running direct via Cricklade Road to St. Andrew's Ridge and Blunsdon.
26,46,47,48,53 and all School Buses cancelled.

- Stagecoach Buses remain suspended, but this may change later in the day.

- Swindon College and New College are closed today, with all classes and evening courses cancelled.

Mild Peril Hits Swindon - Snow Covered Zombies Begin To Roam The Street

Swindon has been covered in snow and although the sun has yet to rise panic appears to be spreading all over the town.

- There currently aren't any Stagecoach buses running anywhere in town. There is a note to this effect on their website with updates to follow.

- There don't appear to be Thamesdown Transport services running either, their website has yet to be updated this morning.

- Swindon College at North Star will not open today.

- Roads are blocked all over town, with many people up, but staring out at the snow.

Swindon Centric Says ; What other word can be used other than chaos? Chaos was used earlier this week for that light dusting, so what do we use? Email us your suggestions!

Swindon Just Doesn't Have Enough Grit! Council To Try Resurrecting John Wayne

Ok, so in this report it talks about Wiltshire, but the headline for this post was too good a tongue-in-cheek opportunity to pass up in the recent 'news' about the weather.

Swindon Centric Says ; What's left to go after the grit's gone? Swindon and Wiltshire's backbone?

Update : The Apartment Closure

In an update from last week's story about the loss of The Apartment in Havelock Square.

Further details obtained by Swindon Centric today indicate that The Apartment will close, with deep irony, at the end of Friday 13th February, in less than two weeks.

Swindon Centric Says ; That falling sound you can hear isn't snow dropping off your roof, but the level of quality in eating and drinking falling in the town centre. We wish the two dozen staff who are about to be made redundant the best in finding something else.

At least they won't be short of places to buy doughnuts and hotdogs on the doorstep of their soon-to-be-former place of work.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 86

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm living again, awake and alive.

9. Hello, good morning, how you been?

8. I don't like the colour of that sky, Chief.

7. They closed the road so they could move a rather large person.

6. She was talking about all this personal sexual stuff on the bus, I wouldn't do that.

5. I missed you like a cat with no neck misses licking it's own arse.

4. Only shooting stars break the mould.

3. Sliding, flying, here we go.

2. He thinks it cool to leave a pause for the people at work to pick a name, idiot.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Are you allowed to get married on that day of the week, are you sure?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Havelock Square Goes Further Downhill - The Apartment To Close

Swindon Centric has been told that The Apartment, the bar and restaurant venue in Havelock Square, is to close imminently.

The news comes with further unclear details that it may be bought by someone else.

The venue was the first example of a fight back against the Fleet Street/Regent Street pubs and bars about ten years ago, by adding a quality drinking and eating place to the centre of town. Swindon Centric can remember in the summer months that lunch would be served on tables and under parasols in the square, adding a touch of 'cafe culture' that all town planners wish to excel to. That's a far cry from the uneven, chewing gum-caked mess that the square is now, along with the aroma of doughnuts and sugar floating on the air.

Jamie Cullum played The Apartment just over five years, with tickets at £10, all 300 were sold within 20 minutes, the venue has held dance classes and comedy nights.

Swindon Centric Says ; Shame to see such a quality venue come to an end in a part of town where quality is sliding down. With the (hopefully) imminent redevelopment work, this is the type of venue that needs to be retained and encouraged once the work is finished.

Crazy Paving Reporting From One Day To The Next

Standards, as written about here, are wide and varying at the Adver with yesterday's story comparing Sheffield's regeneration with Swindon's showing the other end of the spectrum.

Stephanie Tye's report was knowledgeable, well balanced and had a positive tone, much like Mark Easton's, which focussed on some similar issues.

Swindon Centric Says ; Swindon needs a reporting consistency like well beaten egg whites, rather than the gravy-like consistency it has currently, thick and lumpy.

Swindon's Flimsy Reporting Backbone "Going Nowhere Fast"

Once again, the mention of Swindon in the national media has raised mostly unfounded "uproar" from who exactly?

Just the Adver.

The Adver used the headline "BBC jibe at town causes uproar" in response to a detailed and well balanced report by the BBC's Mark Easton on the effect of the recession on the town.

They hooked onto one line in the report, that Swindon was a town "going nowhere, fast", which was in the wider context of Swindon's historically fast growth and used it to justify another piece about Swindon bashing.

Swindon Centric Says ; People in this town have far more backbone and sense than the Adver assumes in it's reporting and no "uproar" has been evident in the streets of the town, on the buses (for further details, see the post below) or in the pages of the newspaper (apart from councillors and MPs, who were probably asked to comment).

They missed the entire point of the report, which showed a former Honda worker retraining at college and the far better position the town is in compared to other places to cope with the recession.

The Adver's reporting policy needs to grow some backbone, stop focussing on pettiness and fully understand a story before publishing it.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 85

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He's under the thumb like a fish under a frozen lake.

9. Oh, pre-washed spinach, how middle class.

8. You can't say that unless you're willing to suffer the consequences.

7. It goes black, black, white, black, white, black.

6. She kissed a girl and she liked it.

5. I have your payment confirmation right here.

4. When they said we were in recession, the entire department let out a cheer.

3. He holds so much change, when he runs for the bus most of it flies out his trousers.

2. I can hear a beautiful noise, listen.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Change has come to America, the world and the 1A between Covingham and Fleming Way.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

News Is Put On Ice, With Ice Fall Council Sue Fluff 'Story'

Yes, the headline says it all.

A woman from Upper Stratton fell in Old Town during the cold weather and is blaming the council for it. It includes legal action for not salting the pavement.

Swindon Centric Says ; Mrs Ireson seems to think it is directly the council's fault for the fall by saying, "I want to show them I wouldn’t be suffering if it wasn’t for them".

Well, no, the cold weather caused you to fall. If it had been salted and you'd still fallen, would you still have blamed the council?

Meanwhile, a duck held up traffic somewhere, it sounds more interesting, we'll get you the details.

Passport To Pimlico St Helena...Via Swindon?

This story surprised Swindon Centric, not least that it's rather nice that some communities don't feel the need to be more connected than they deem is necessary in the current age.

But, according to the BBC, a large number of St Helena island expats live in Swindon. But there's no explanation given as to why a small island in the Atlantic has a large expatriate number in Swindon.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 84

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They're going to call it the ASBO theatre company.

9. I just ran out of things to say.

8. Desperation got the better of me, I picked up my coat, a banana and ran off.

7. Here comes 2009, like a lorry packed with dangerous goods, speeding too fast around a corner.

6. He'll win the recount by about 250 votes.

5. It wasn't so much the smell, but the taste that put me off.

4. Why is there a volleyball book in the geography section?

3. He had his hair cut because now he can be seen on the webcam.

2. There are no oranges anywhere, I even checked under the seat.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm Lionel, I'll be your driver today, we'll be traveling at a level of one and a half feet.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.