Swindon Bus War Round 4 : 3 is not the Magic Number

Too many buses running around with fresh air on board has seen Stagecoach blink on the number 3/number 5 near identical route.

Stagecoach will stop the number 3 from 12th August, stating it started well, but once Thamesdown started their near carbon copy number 5, passenger numbers fell away.

This skirmish benefit mostly the residents of Park North, with a hyper frequency of buses from two operators to choose from. In a welcome comment, the Stagecoach MD Rupert Cox noted the large number of buses running round having a "negative impact on their communities".

Top marks to Stagecoach for the comments, conceding early and giving it a go.

Now, from one front in the Swindon bus war to another, that Battle for Bassett, how goes things at the front Rupert and Andrew?

D is for Heenan's Bad Spell at Swinon

Councillor Dale Heenan (he of the council tax debacle) has asked residents (with only a few days to the deadline, so sounds more like a tick-box engagement exercise) what they 'want to see changed or improved'.

Swindoncentric suggests Mr Heenan maybe goes for English lessons, judging by the very sloppy letter of objection he's tweeted regarding a planning application he feels strong about.

In the letter, he suggests that residents write their own letter, as it carries more weight.

True, especially since it appears he can't even spell 'Swindon' in the opening line of his.

Never mind, I'm sure putting him in charge of two Swindon Libraries will go swimmingly. Is the order for new signs in yet? Better check the spelling first.

It's S-w-i-n-d-o-n

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 373

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They were sat there all day drinking and you can guess the very hands-on response.

9. He let go of the wall, pushed off, then fell into a manhole.

8. I saw him stand up and talk to that crowd, he was very good and different.

7. But babe, remember, not everyone think's you're as good looking as I do.

6. He told her she looked fat, then laughed, and she's still with the twat.

5. It was on Snapchat but I'm losing patience to keep using it.

4. Does your phone always loose signal on Wednesdays?

3. It was full of kids, I thought the S Club Juniors had walked in.

2. It's just corn, it's not going to attack you.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Keep it to yourself, I don't want everyone to know what I've caught.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 372

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Tell Mummy all the details of the funny man.

9. I heard the bone crack.

8. It's got zero calories in it, which is good as it's basically useless.

7. It exploded and she got plastic all over the kitchen.

6. Experts from Bristol are working on it.

5. I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were going to be totally freaked out.

4. You know, I've never liked that route with the narrow left turn.

3. We all know who he's been carrying on with.

2. I'll never win any awards for world's best dad.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You'll always be ready for getting divorced in a hurry.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 371

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She's called Wendy, not exactly confidence-inspiring.

9. If you're not dressed in 15 minutes then there's no point.

8. Don't put a sauce on it, otherwise it turns it all gloopy.

7. They kept on going on at her about getting a pay rise, but that's been years ago.

6. The temporary headteacher that replaced the one that was fiddling the money.

5. A lot has been put into the report, but we all know it's flawed.

4. She has to resign now.

3. Boris better just be sent away to a desert island for a few decades.

2. She voted Labour, she's never voted for them in her life.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's all about the exit poll.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 370

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. No, it went all yellow, then it fell off.

9. No, Snapchat is where I'm at like all the time.

8. The wrath of Clive is what we'll call it.

7. There were no shoes left, so I ended up going in my socks and pretending I was being ironic.

6. Just because she turns up to your party it doesn't mean she should have been allowed to come.

5. They're every 5 minutes, it's ridiculous, most are empty, but more work for us.

4. A bucket got left out the window which the cat jumped on and got stuck in.

3. We had cod, which isn't my favourite, but certainly isn't my worst.

2. Outrageous to think he got a promotion having been at home for 7 months.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Lunch should be a fun affair, not a shrink-wrapped torrid hell.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 369

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Keeping my mind open to all possibilities that may crop up in the finance department.

9. I'm pleased to meet you after wearing your uniform.

8. It's finished, it's going to close and they've only told us three.

7. The top only fits into my left arm, which makes wearing it out a toughie.

6. There was the stupidest hashtag I've ever seen in the history of the world.

5. Black coffee is the strong thing I can ever smell, forget petrol fumes.

4. Believing what you believe isn't just backwards, it's shortly to become illegal.

3. The recipe asked for sugar so I put in a whole packet of sugar substitute pellets.

2. Sharing my crisps, no, I don't think so.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Just cos he dealt a bit the police won't leave him alone.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Swindon Election - Lib Dems Chase Ambulance in Swindon!

If the Lib Dems learn anything from their Swindon campaign this election, it's get someone professional to do your leaflets.

And don't just photograph each candidate in front of the same ambulance at the Orbital in separate photos. At least Liz Webster's North Swindon leaflet doesn't feature bits of ambulance sticking out of her torso as her South Swindon colleague's does.

Swindon Election - Stan 'Local' Lassoed Man's Your Photoshop Fail Candidate

It seems Swindon's Liberal Democratgs Liberal Democrats aren't spending their money on their leaflets, as the Adver's Chris Humphrey's has found.

Plus, as seen here, the same leaflet for Stan (you remember him from being your 'Local', but not quite  Eastcott councillor) Pjaka Pajak shows he's only been photographed once, with the same photo of him in front of an ambulance, that's then been badly photoshopped to show him with bits of emergency vehicles sticking out his torso.

Someone needs to ring for help, plus his bad hair cut needs some trained professional assistance.