Saturday, October 14, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 388

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I've really been holding out for it, but to no hope, really.

9. I'm on Sylvia's side in this, she deserves someone who just acknowledges her.

8. She's done all her shopping up until the Spring.

7. They drank a lot, and he really hates it, but he always does it.

6. They're perfect together, but they need to know where their limits are.

5. I never really thought about him when I was away, bad isn't it.

4. God gets talked about all the time, I'm sure he's bored of it.

3. No I got fish, which hardly anyone in our street seems to buy.

2. It'll run mostly empty all day, but they'll never give the route up.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. That one's unresponsive, you'll have to try further south, down here.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Excited Council in the Market for a Cheap & Quick Erection

A plan for a 15 storey block of flats with no parking in a town centre would get a careful objective look you'd think.


Not in Swindon. Not when the point of having a planning system seems now to be pointless, with councillors and officers now in agreement, as it seems anything goes. That goes for a cheap and quick erection, especially if the threat of having to pay costs after it's in the other's favour.

Councillors positively salivated at the council meeting that approved it, as if it's the most exciting event since the last round of councillors pay increases or budget cuts.

The best of the show was the parish council for the area, highlighting the pokey nature of the size of the flats in the block, along with the shadow the building will cast on it's neighbours across Commercial Road, the lack of any car parking and the the look of the building.

From an official SBC point of view, there's no point having any 'Affordable Housing' designated in the block as it's not likely it's what council tenants need and want (you want to go down to page 62 in the link).

Makes you think if the council don't reckon they could rent out the flats, what hope the private sector?

No mention was made about the block going against the Swindon Town Centre Masterplan that any development should "complement the scale and massing of the surrounding town centre buildings" (page 109 if you can find a copy). Things have certainly changed since the council strongly objected and rejected plans before based on the appearance of the building.

Stan 'your local, but not quite' man got very excited and compared it to the David Murray John.

Stan really should know better than to compare a block of flats designed in a couple of months to a vast town centre rebuilding plan that was decades in the planning and building.

The irony seemed to be lost on all the councillors that the view of the town centre's landmark, the DMJ from Deacon Street , will now be lost when the 15 storey erection goes up in front of it.

One word of warning that the council seems to have missed comes from the owner of Signal Point at the railway station. Network Rail have been blocking that being turned into flats as it will make it more difficult to demolish and redevelop later. Is the council boxing itself into a corner with approving all the office to flats conversions in the town centre (two in nearby Farnsby Street in just the last year) making demolition far more difficult if something better comes along?

I'm not sure most councillors are that bothered, by that time they'll all be staring longingly, shivering in their macs at the vast cheap erection surrounded by illegally-parked cars, in the shadowy wind tunnel of Commercial Road with empty restaurant units.

One cheap and quick erection, coming soon!

Sunday, October 08, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 387

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'll haunt ya.

9. There's only about 10% of people who give a toss.

8. It's still being resurfaced and will be finished when I'm dead I believe.

7. Brilliantly he didn't notice when his pants were undone.

6. Something else, about couscous, but it wasn't clear.

5. A photo a day of you eating breakfast, that's what I'd like to see.

4. I was knocking them back and Snapchatting her.

3. Of course I didn't go on the training course, I know how to open doors.

2. Perspective is a wonderful thing when you've quit your awful job.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She got attacked by a load of hashtags.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 386

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He suffers in silence, apart from when he talks about it.

9. Sorry, that's all the money I have in the world.

8. It turns left, then two rights and straight over the junction.

7. Just calm down and keep it to yourself, I don't want those lot sat up front to know.

6. It's a shocking injury when you consider I can still move it.

5. They're going to sell it all off to the highest bidder, not that there'l be much interest.

4. Keep all that evidence in the bag and we'll get it out when we get there.

3. Steve said he'd tell me what happened in the meeting when I go for lunch with him next week.

2. Well I can afford taxis each day, it doesn't mean that I should be taking then just because I can.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It was not long after I'd been married for the second time around.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 385

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The hours really are slipping by.

9. If it depends on Des then we're all going to be in big trouble.

8. I could barely hear it, it was that low.

7. Did you see that in that window, she had just a hat on.

6. There was a scream that sounded like he was being tickled.

5. Me leaving is for the best when it's all said and done.

4. It got thrown up and over and right towards the front door.

3. There was a small guitar left in the room and the next day someone had taken it.

2. Tightened so tight I couldn't feel a thing below my neck.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's delayed for another few weeks, they didn't realise how old the road is, could have looked on an old map, twats.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 384

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Where am I?

9. It goes left, so you'll have to get out and walk along the verge, good thing you're not fat.

8. It was all over Instagram, hashtags more than your life's worth.

7. Keep some perspective and just chill.

6. I'm not going out for a weekend yet, I need to get myself together.

5. He looked like he was going to burst into tears and ask for his mummy.

4. I was saving that last nugget for tomorrow too.

3. You can complain as many times as you like, but I'm not going to give it to you.

2. Do you reckon they walk around with their eyes shut, just bumping into things, like local councillors?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It should be okay, Akers Way is due to reopen soon, thank god.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Jack of all Dales

As well as being a Borough Councillor, the Chair of the Communities and Place Overview and Scrutiny Committee, Dale Heenan is also chairman of his own Library Trust.

Don't forget what happens to councillors who eventually get hold of 'their' library, they end up standing in the rain moaning about litter that they use to be responsible for.