Sunday, October 28, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 442

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was giant, like the size of a bus, but a really big one.

9. The responsibility lies fairly and squarely with him, not that it'd be noticed.

8. I had eaten loads of chocolate and felt so sick it lasted three days.

7. Tell me it's all about the ego and nothing else.

6. I take her out for a drink, buy her something and give her money, but that's just normal.

5. Keep perspective on it, you're only talking about moss.

4. They cleared out his cupboards and all he got left with was money off vouchers.

3. I thought I could just fall back on my old fashioned tricks.

2. You don't know just how good you look do you, you really don't.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's no option to him sleeping up there, he's only two, I'd never take the risk.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 441

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Keep on like this and you'll get taken to hell on the dual carriageway.

9. I haven't seen him since he was dressed up as a drag queen.

8. You can't spell it that way any more, Google doesn't let you.

7. I know you like chutney more than me.

6. That car has been parked in that exact spot since before Kerry was born.

5. Oh I'll still have shorts on until at least twelfth night I reckon.

4. If he keeps this up his wife will leave him, and then his problems really start.

3. Just because you can afford all this stuff, it doesn't mean it's worth it.

2. No, those buses are mainly made out of old buses, it's all melted down and used again, including the drivers.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. At some point the family are going to find out and they're going to never speak to you ever again.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Backwards, to go Forward, Swindon

The long slow death of Forward Swindon has finally been confirmed.


No-one was surprised. But who has most to gain from it?

The optimist would say, the people of Swindon. The pessimist would say the new Cabinet member responsible for Town Centre regeneration.

There does seem to be a dividing line between the eras of the former Cabinet member, Councillor Perkins and Councillor Heenan.

The Perkins era was known for it's constant stream of optimistic words, staggeringly-slow physical on-the-ground change and constant questions about accountability.

The Heenan era will no doubt see a continuation of these to greater and lesser extents, depending on whether developers, specifically in the town centre, bring the private money that is constantly talked about, but seldom seen.

The end for Forward Swindon seems to have been marked by the tearing-up of the development agreement on Kimmerfields by the council. Plus the subtle changes on the FS website's Kimmerfields page that a development plan would be this autumn, has now become a 'movement strategy' to be 'developed in late 2018' and a plan for the new bus station to be 'finalised in early 2019'.

Reading between the lines, it's easy to see that the Kimmerfields (originally called Union Square) plan will be much different to what was originally proposed. 600,000 square feet of office space was the original plan, made up of half a dozen plots, most of them two or three buildings grouped around central courtyards. These would have had retail space on the ground floors and office space on the upper floors. Some upper floors would have been flats, plus a hotel and multi-storey carpark (maybe without crumbling terracota).

With Councillor Perkins comment that a business wants 100,000 square feet of office at Kimmerfields, that means the site would include fewer, but bigger buildings, that throws off entirely the original plan. 

If the traffic plan needs revising, then maybe Councillor Perkins admission that the new bus station would have no more bays than there currently is on Fleming Way and at the current bus station, will also be revised? He also admitted that there would be no room for additional bays for future bus growth, and that the bus companies would not agree to the plan if it didn't work. In that case, Thamesdown and Stagecoach should set their handbrakes and demand extra space, they may not get another chance to say so.

The business after the 100,000 square feet, is it a new business? A current one that's already in the town and who simply wants newer more up to date office space? Swindon Centric will not reveal!

What the new economic development team in SBC needs to be careful of is what happened to The Parade development, where the headlines were all about the new shiny BHS store to replace the old. Less was said about the new BHS store reducing their floorspace compared to the old store. In a sense a consolidation of investment, rather than an increase in it.

Replacing old buildings for new ones of similar size and use, is simply allowing the town centre to tread water. The replacing of the Wyvern Theatre carpark with the Whalebridge carpark is another expensive example of what essentially is maintenance of current facilities, not an investment to giving the town greater things.

For Kimmerfields to work, the SBC team need to persuade other businesses in on the back of the 100,000 square feet business.

Councillor Heenan being busy with his Sim City in east Swindon could work to the SBC team's advantage. They might be able to get to work on Kimmerfields without someone getting the crayons out and drawing all over the white hoardings. 

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 440

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can't carry on like this all your life.

9. The use of hashtags is overrated to the point of pointlessness.

8. The children were lovely and I miss them greatly.

7. We had a little get-together, nothing too emotional.

6. It's now a weekly ritual.

5. The sushi was not a choice I'd repeat.

4. Come on, I'm not having that, you can get off now.

3. The fair ground rides didn't look safe or clean.

2. You must come round for supper one night.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I always give a sick grin.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, October 07, 2018

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 439

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm sure that's not broccoli.

9. You give me way too much credit on that one.

8. You and me brother, all the way to the end of this route.

7. I can't equalise, you've given away all your points.

6. Have you changed your mind at all?

5. That lunch was he nicest I've had in the rain.

4. Going on a limb could be a phrase deemed offensive by me if I wanted.

3. There's lots of options to win her over when it gets towards Christmas.

2. He's really creepy and quite rightly is avoided by all staff.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You've not seen Mamma Mia? Then you have not lived a full life.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.