Wi-Failed : Double-Feature Coming Soon!

The accounts of Swindon's drunken dalliance with the money black-hole Digital City (they promised to bring us all free wi-fi and unlock a money-making machine and, well, it didn't happen, but they did spend all their money, but on what exactly?) will soon be published.

Get. The. Popcorn.

Superfast Wi-Fi Cover Is Here

That's right! After ages of waiting, the ultimate flack cover for the pesky business deal that went south is now here.

It'll resemble the first deal in nearly no respects, but because of it's flexible ability to be spun in any direction required, this non-feature will never be noticed (subject to beta testing). That's right, don't delay, call today and order your superfast broadband flack cover!

By The Numbers on Honda and BMW

A statistical analysis of North Swindon MP Justin Tomlinson's weekly column from the Swindon Advertiser about the Honda news.

Frequency of works and phrases within the column -

I = 4

We = 7

Investment = 6

Manufacturing = 4

Debt = 1

Reckless = 1

Financial Sector = 1

Our = 5

Skilled = 2

Jobs = 2

Recession = 0

By The Numbers on Croft School

A statistical analysis of Swindon Borough Council Leader Rod Bluh's weekly column from the Swindon Advertiser in which he defends the construction of the new Croft Primary School.

Frequency of words and phrases within the column -

I = 4

We = 7

OFSTED = 1

Children = 5

Class Solutions = 0

Business Opportunity = 0

Consultation = 0

Cost Overrun = 0

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 249

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. That foot of yours will have to go.

9. I see no reason we can't have pasta tonight. But I'd prefer a curry.

8. Your afternoon has been rather terrifying.

7. She was asked to return after it had gone back to it's usual size.

6. Mousy, tousled, that type of thing.

5. There's no internal dialogue, I mean I did have my earphones on at that point.

4. Less is very much more, but only on spec.

3. There's no philosophy connected with it, it's just money-grabbing.

2. He's a lot smaller, but that does make him quicker in several respects.


And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Your teeth can't itch, it's the same rubbish people talk about having your heart in your mouth, unless you're eating haggis.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 248

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. This was totally what he warned me would happen even without me sleeping with him.

9. Let me just test out that theory on my thighs, I'll see how I get on.

8. It's an original jumper before they started moving production to Asia and everything was made out of crumbly thread.

7. Round up those paper-thin people from accounts and get them drunk.

6. Zaha is that woman I use to go to zumba with before she got thin.

5. It's not a new one, but it will do I suppose.

4. Imagine for a minute I care about what you're saying, just for a minute.

3. You can't brag about those shoes, look at them, they're not fit to be seen in the dark in.

2. No potatoes have gone up and I'm always at a loose end with them.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I can't prove the moon orbits the earth, but like Mike and his wandering eyes, I know it happens.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Reinventing the Portakabin

The discussions about the Croft School centre on one fact that has not been clearly established.

Has Swindon Borough Council built an unnecessary school in a district that didn't need one with decisions that were influenced by it's commercial interests in the building methods of the structure?

Swindon Centric Says ; As today's Swindon Advertiser editorial comment says, "It would be nice if the people who paid for the school were deemed important enough to be told the truth".

More about Class Solutions (the modular school building design that Croft is the testbed for) and whether it smells of Digital City in a future post.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 247

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He needs to be kept in check, follow him at lunchtime.

9. It won't be as easy as you make out.

8. I'm not telling you what to tell him, I'm just giving my side of the story.

7. Not very flattering, but I can't understand why you're that bothered by it all.

6. Does Sarah have a coloured baby? Does she have a brown baby?

5. Well I can't do that with these swollen fingers, can I?

4. There are no legal grounds for it's suppression.

3. Steam it open, no one will know, or care.

2. Starting a war is never a business growth move in telesales.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She looked like she'd have been happier sitting in a chair, with a damp cloth on a her face and someone rubbing her feet.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 246

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's character building, like divorce.

9. They're brothers but everyone knows he was adopted, meanwhile he was an accident.

8. Everyone had to deal with sore balls, until you get that cream.

7. It's worth £4 each, or 2 for £8.

6. Forget bonding, I had a cracking night on my own with a takeaway.

5. His flat is all well and good, but you can't retire on it can you?

4. There's fire in it, but that might just be the lactic acid.

3. You've never used the word 'medaled' before.

2. Put Sarah down, she does not want to be moved like that.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1.Dressage? Dressage? No idea what it is, but I'm drawn to watch it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Sunday Satire

Just a bit of fun.

The Councillor Scorecard

The engagement of residents in local politics is something that only often reaches a critical mass on single-issues.

What will it take to engage people day-to-day?

This question sits uncomfortably alongside that of the effectiveness and efficiency of local councillors. As Swindon Centric has talked about, too often local councillors consist of a wide-range of abilities, motivations and interpersonal skills. A way to get councillors who only seem to surface from their sleep at election time is to make them take ownership of their ward.

Why not create a scorecard for each ward, using some simple housekeeping targets? What percentage of streetlights don't work? The level of cleanliness, with scores for graffiti, litter, dumped rubbish, the quality of street furniture and more. Councillors would not be set targets, but monthly totals could be kept and be easily accessible via the Swindon Borough Council website. This would make councillors be responsible (truly take ownership) for 'their patch', would get them out on the streets of the voters who they represent and would give them first hand 'shop-front' experience of reporting defective services and see that report through to the problem being resolved.

This would not be a replacement for residents reporting problems themselves, but many people do not seem to even know they can report a raft of issues for quick fixes, especially the Council's Streetsmart service simply and quickly by phone and email.

Swindon Centric Says ; This would truly give residents the ability to see how committed councillors are to their wards.

UPDATED : I'd like to see a set of figures each month covering those 'basic standards' (percentage of working street lights, graffiti tags logged and cleaned, rubbish dumping logged and cleared, etc). The onus would be put on councillors that they should take an active role in reporting these and reducing them in their wards, walking a 'beat' and noting down what needs doing and reporting it to Streetsmart for rectifying.

The community clean-up days we see most wards have occurring once a year gets councillors a nice shot of publicity, but this type of 'roll up your sleeves' should be a daily, second-nature attitude. Keeping a tally on the 'housekeeping' in each ward would give an indication as to how active your councillor is.

The Whalebridge Breaks the Surface

The entire top surface of the Whalebridge junction has been removed months after it was laid following the removal of the junction roundabout.

Why?

We've seen the traffic queues, the diverting of traffic round the court, the non-finishing off of grass verges, the inconsistent pedestrian crossing standards with lack of buttons and the piss-poor light phasing. Yet nothing has been done about this.

But now we see the tarmac surface and all road markings gone, why? Was it poorly laid?

Swindon Centric Says ; Get someone from Serco to re-phase the lights, scatter some grass seed in the muddy verges, put pelican crossings in all of the crossings points, not just some and until the regrading of Fleming Way starts, allow all traffic to turn west into Fleming Way from Whalebridge.

The entire population of 209,000 people will be entirely thankful.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 245

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I suspect you're right, but will pretend you're wrong.

9. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

8. Just 'cos you've got a smartcard, don't act like it's a gold-plated iPad.

7. Yeah but she's a slapper, the whole street knows it, they've all had her.

6. Have you seen Burn Notice? I stream them online, totally illegal but it's quicker than waiting for them.

5. I've done four of these already, want to swap?

4. I smacked her in the mouth, I didn't use my fists, I used my sarcasm.

3. Try seeing what the cuts will do to their I.T. department, less screens and attitude from them for a start.

2. Stare right down there and you can see all the way to the top of the hill.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They've got the heating on, are they trying to kill me or grow tomatoes?

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses (Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last) Last Week ; 244

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He has the charm of a Lib Dem front-bencher.

9. Wearing pink socks does not make you wild.

8. She stared the entire time, never seen somebody that thin before.

7. I'll buy you a coffee, I haven't the money for a tequila shot.

6. Can you get blue tomatoes?

5. You have a smaller interest in Sally than I thought.

4. Should have left it at home, I told you, didn't I tell you?

3. I'm not interested, just buy me a pair of jeans and be done with it.

2. Does it go to Liden? Does it, I thought Liden was near Oxford.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Don't even reckon on me turning up, I'd just come in, smack two people from the main office in the face, take all the free drinks I'm allowed, and walk out.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Swindon's Very Own Shock Doctrine

The stateside version of this, with some variances, covered on MSNBC's The Rachel Maddow Show

If your streetlights have been broken for an age and the graffiti on your walls has now got moss growing on it, it could because of Swindon Councillors subscribing to the 'Shock Doctrine'.

The theory by-which governments push through major neo-conservative policies (privatisation, liberalisation of constraints on industry, simplifying government processes, etc) when a citizenry is in 'shock' from a disaster has and is happening in Swindon.

The disaster? The financial crisis, the credit crunch, the following recession, stalled recovery and now double-dip recession.

We're constantly being told, and have been, by the ruling councillors at Swindon Borough Council that there is not any money for basic services in the way they have been provided before.

How has this policy been followed? There's so many to mention -

- The privatisation of Swindon Commercial Services (the works department of the Council, now run to make a profit and wholly owned by Swindon Borough Council as an investment interest).

- The spinning-off of adult social care in Swindon to another organisation.

- The cutting back of hundreds of front-line staff in Swindon Borough Council, from libraries to park rangers.

- The administration of benefits to Swindon residents now provided by Capita, not Swindon Borough Council.

- The attempted privatisation of Swindon's entire assets of it's Council Housing stock. This was prevented after a vote by council house tenants.

- To a derived point, the Wi-Failed scheme. One of the numerous reasons given for the scheme was that the council now had to look at ways of producing revenue (making money).

- The latest, the transfer of green spaces to house-building companies.

- The transfer of the Oasis leisure centre and a chunk of land at North Star to a private investment company to refurbish the centre and build a snow dome and other leisure facilities, to be operated by them and not Swindon Borough Council.

Swindon Centric Says ; The constant banging of this drum of 'if we don't reduce our deficit it'll come and attack you in a lonely alleyway' is spin, as Swindon Borough Council seem happy-enough to run up record debts building infrastructure at Wichelstowe.

Why are Swindon Borough Councillors happy to spend money on easy things like roads and paths to tempt house builders, but won't work hard to come up with a detailed, costed, long-term, council-funded plan to rebuild assets?

Have our councillors become lazy and unknowledgeable? For Swindon, it should be renamed The Shock and Lazy Doctrine.

Swindon Gives Away The Crown Jewels

Is giving a private company Swindon's Oasis Leisure Centre, in return for it's refurbishment and substantial expansion the only option, or an austerity-cloaked privatisation?

The plan for a Snowdome at the Oasis North Star area is not new and the fact it's reached this far is great news. But is the part of the deal that the company concerned, Morai Capital Investments, will be allowed to build this leisure addition, in return for full modernisation of the Oasis, too high a price to pay?

And the Swindon Card you may own? That won't be usable at the Oasis any more.

In the same way that the street light switch-off was spun that it would save us substantial amounts of money in the long-term, what the real story consists of, is our local authority getting out of having to worry about the town's infrastructure. The 'saving' councillors talked about concerning the lights was actually the cost of replacing the lights, as the areas in question included street lights which were rapidly approaching the end of their working lives. The spin about the lights being in areas 'it wasn't thought they would be much needed', or the environmental benefits, was just that, spin.

A 'get-it-off-our-books-as-quickly-as-you-can' attitude.

Swindon Centric Says ; Were the options of direct capital investment from Swindon Borough Council even looked at? Did the council even research taking out loans to modernise the town's assets? If they did, are these documents available for us to see please?

Time for a Freedom of Information Request maybe?

The Mayor of Simpleton

 How strange it would be if the Queen was to vote in a Commons or Lords situation, shaking the foundations of the system.

On a local level, that's about to happen in Swindon.

The Conservative Group have a majority of one in the recent local council elections, which means in the event of a tie, the Mayor (which is largely a ceremonial position, despite the selected mayor being an elected councillor) will, like-never-before, be called upon to cast the deciding vote. The new Mayor, Councillor Mick Bray (Conservative, of the Lydiard and Freshbrook ward) may find it increasingly difficult to justify his position as he votes on issues in the council chamber one moment, then remains non-political whilst grinning for the cameras and having cake at his official mayor duties the next.

 Swindon Centric Says ; We live in interesting times.

Wi-Failed : Digital City Boss Paid £82,000 of Our Money

The boss of Swindon Borough Council-funded Digital City was paid £82,000 for 'coaching fees' during his tenure. The news is in today's Swindon Advertiser, a link to come later.

The company was set up to provide Borough-wide Wi-Fi access through an initial £400,000 loan from Swindon Borough Council.

The company failed to meet a single target and is dead in the water.

Swindon Centric Says ; Disgusting, shameful. To paraphrase a previously used line, if you stand on the top of the David Murray John Building (where Digital City were given free offices by Swindon Borough Council), on a clear day you can see a democratic council.

Swindon Council 'Slash & Burn' Land Transfer Before Election

A day after Coate Water was lost, a first-hand story from Councillor Russell (Labour, Gorse Hill & Pinehurst) of the shocking procedure of land transfering from Swindon Borough Council to developers.

The attempt to complete the deal over the land before the May election smacks of desperation and deep unprofessionalism.

Swindon Centric Says ; What the heck are our council playing at? Transparency and democracy, pah.

The Battle for Coate Is Lost

The battle for land close to Coate Water Country Park has been lost, the planning decision, which went to appeal, has now been granted.

890 homes will be built on land at Commonhead and the decision to build the Great Western Hospital over a decade ago unlocked the land and made any planning refusal difficult to justify.

52,000 people did not want this, the MP for South Swindon did not want this, some majority councillors privately did not want this.

Apart from Persimmon, who in Swindon wanted this?

Swindon Centric Says ; The battle for Coate is over, but the battle for Swindon's other green fields is just beginning. Long term planning now demands voters become heavily involved and stand over the shoulders of Swindon Borough Council and it's councillors watching their every move and decision.

They work for us.

Perkins Park 2 Election Blow-Out?

Will the building of an urban park in the Davis Place area work?

Swindon Centric Says ; How will the Sainsburys delivery lorry be kept from tearing up the grass? We need plans and details please Councillor Perkins, but at £225,000 it better be bloody good.

Swindon Centric did actually see a couple of people using the Fleming Way Park today for it's intended purpose, so it might work!

Bus Reinstatement Buys Extra Time

Congratulations to all concerned with getting the hybrid 21/23 bus service reinstatement done.

I've been informed on Twitter (by Dorcandave, tip of the hat) that Thamesdown Transport (Swindon's bus company that the Council, and therefore us, all own) carries 175,000 passengers each week. 600 people signed the petition to get the bus service reintroduced, it better translate to bus passenger numbers.

Swindon Centric Says ; If you signed the petition, you should be first at the stop on the day of launch, reasonable ticket prices to suit all pockets!

Swindon Election : Councillors Start Self-Parody

The story about Councillor Vera Tomlinson being shocked at being offered drugs at Redhouse Shops in North Swindon needs no further comment from me as the Swindon Adver and the comments by Inspector Charlie Ducker (great name) do the job for me.

Just read the story here.

Swindon Centric Says ; Welcome to the 20th Century Councillor Tomlinson! Are you ready for us to tell you about text speak? We'll keep that bombshell for next week.

Swindon Elections : Midsomer Murders Excitement With Post Box Pledge

You'd imagine in a drug-riddled part of town such as North Swindon, the provision of things like post boxes would be low on a politician's radar.

But not so!

Swindon Centric Says ; I can't wait to see the election leaflet for the area, what other goodies does it contain? A pledge for all youngsters to address elders with a cap doff and only real fruit in the area's jam-making parties? I hope so.

It's a tough life being a ward politician, especially if you're one of those that's just woken up and realised there's a election in May.

'What ward am I running in? What's the policies? Budget cuts, town expansion, business investment, post boxes. I'll go with the post boxes I think."

If this the biggest issue in the Priory Vale ward, then some people aren't looking hard enough.

Swindon Elections : Your Bandwagon Is Blocking The (Redhouse) Way

The suspension of the introduction of long-overdue parking restrictions in North Swindon is as much about pre-election panicking as fixing the problem.

The problem of on-street parking in Redhouse Way has existed for 6 years. Known by residents, visitors, and drivers. There is room for these vehicles to park in the side streets and it's the way to fix it. However, councillors for the wards involved seem to have taken umbrage to the idea of Swindon Borough Council getting round to instituting 'no waiting' stretches to the road.

Could it be that the councillors want to be seen to be involved in the process, even though it's a no-brainer? They kick up a mini-fuss with 'other solutions' to be evaluated (and they would be? Extra car parking spaces? And the money for that, from where?). Then, the original fix to the problem is carried out, but under the guise of 'look what your councillors have done, we work hard for you'.

Swindon Centric Says ; This bandwagon-jumping is an obvious as a Ford Ka blocking a bus number 15 to town, no-one is taken in by it.

Your councillors election campaigning in North Swindon ; what have they been doing for the previous 2/4 years, trying to park?

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses (Last, Last, Last, Last) Last Week ; 243

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. All about what Sophie said, but she's so immature.

9. The night seemed to go on forever.

8. The weather's so gloomy I'll be hard-pressed to find anything worthy to say.

7. I'm so excited, but I bet Steve will come along and find something to make me feel rubbish.

6. I woke up without any pants on.

5. Try eating more fibre, when did you last encounter an apple that wasn't deep fried?

4. You need to remember that accounts are the same department that caught Al Capone.

3. Stop taking all the stationary, some of us actually need paperclips for proper purposes.

2. I always take my bags for life, then forget they're in my pocket.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Someone forgot that it was her birthday, so we nipped to Tescos and bought her some no-frills vodka, she seemed quite touched.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses (Last, Last, Last, Last, Last) Last Week ; 242

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I remember seeing smoke, but no Indians.

9. You can do it properly, or not at all.

8. He waltzed off and I had to make up the whole time.

7. They always go to play dominos, thrilling I know.

6. I take it that these pants are ones you'll be wearing for special occasions?

5. Only half the lights are on, who do I see about that?

4. It's called a suspection inspection. Sounds serious and severe, but quite quirky.

3. Treating her like that makes me want to become violent, but you've seen my lack of upper body strength.

2. She jumped forward at the lights, I missed by about a foot and a half.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The sun was coming up over Great Western Way and I thought it looked rather beautiful, don't tell anyone.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Last Waltz At The Locarno?

The owner of Swindon's derelict Locarno/Corn Exchange/Old Town Hall has applied for permission to demolish the remaining structure.

Previously the site was to be rebuilt, but permission to build on the adjacent carpark (which would make the plan economically viable) was withdrawn by councillors and the latest area of limbo began.

Coming only a few days after Leader of the Council Rod Bluh declared his support for getting the building restored, this could be another crunch moment for Swindon Borough Council's attitude towards the town's heritage. A similar situation occurred for the Mechanic's Institute, which, far from being restored, is on the agenda of the Prince's Trust for a long-term project.

Swindon Centric Says ; The easy option would be to grant Mr Gael MacKenzie permission to demolish the building. Go for the difficult option and dive into the deep end of long-term restoration and commitment. This town needs ownership of it's heritage and that needs courage and political commitment.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses (Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last) Last Week ; 241

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He got the boot.

9. It must stem from his fear of responsibility.

8. I bought a cup of tea and waited until the reduced the price of the fresh bread.

7. You saved 7 pence, talk about tight.

6. Keep your opinion and body odour to yourself.

5. But there isn't a top deck, so your double-capacity strategy is laughable.

4. Everyone saw him out with her, she'd got the face that would suited being stuck on a wooden wall mount.

3. Try and remember why he even thinks it's a good idea to buy a facelift voucher for Jackie.

2. No, we didn't have pasta, I had spaghetti.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's only so many ways you can use spinach without making pie out of it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses (Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last) Last Week ; 240

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It plays really quietly and nearly goes silence.

9. Tuneage.

8. It's not the easiest thing to do, but it'll stop the limp.

7. Carol told me in confidence, which is why that's not her real name, to protect the gossips.

6. Keep him on your left and move forward.

5. The job has been changed, so they can replace him.

4. It doesn't seem fair on those who wear cut-off trousers.

3. But we didn't buy any water so you can't have any clean feet.

2. It would not surprise me if we all get told how bad a job we're doing when we hit the target.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He only played him once, then they replaced his role with a door handle.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses (Last, Last, Last, Last) Last Week ; 239

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. All I need is a rescue and that'll do it.

9. Come back after 10 minutes and it'll look slightly better.

8. She left all his clothes on the sofa and woke up when Paul came in.

7. But with the discount, you're actually paying more, stop buying chocolate.

6. Don't let him be that manipulative, stand up.

5. Doesn't mean she's going to be a good mother, she's not cut out for it.

4. Turn the other cheek and take the high road.

3. Sandie said they'd all hear come April.

2. You know what needs doing, no-one else has the authority.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Hold on tight, he takes the curves at quite a speed.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 238

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The situation has become temporarily vacant.

9. I ate all this arguing about small points, and it's all so small.

8. There's an excuse for lethargy, but I can't be bothered to remember.

7. Colin's persuasive way of speaking nearly won me over, but then I remembered.

6. Really danced so hard I broke my heel, they're not really my going out shoes, so it's alright.

5. The place has been left to it's own devices, hasn't been to bad really.

4. I have four layers on and look at my hands, just look at my hands!

3. Remember the important things and don't give time to those people you really don't like.

2. Once more, and this time, I expect you to smile at the end.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Shine a light on the whole messy affair, it's not something you should put up with, ever again.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 237

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm trying to breathe, but having some difficulty.

9. Everything is alright if I just forget about it.

8. I've been driving for an hour and didn't realise I hadn't used all of them.

7. Been waiting since 6 o'clock for him to come on duty and there's been no sign of him.

6. On these all day, I'm pretty sure to go loopy.

5. A separate stop is about 10 yards away, why do that?

4. There's a lot of courage in what he did, but that might just be foolishness.

3. Swing into the middle lane and make sure the end's not sticking out.

2. There's a number of reasons I could give you, but the main one is, I really don't want to go.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I could tell you a joke about creme eggs, but it's not very good.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 236

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Don't fall down the front.

9. I was waiting for the one behind, but then I saw you and realised my battery had died.

8. It was built in 1894 in the same time it takes you to make a cup of tea.

7. It's a joy to experience just how unaware Margaret is.

6. There's no other man in the world who is as laid back as you.

5. There's nothing wrong with rogue-ness, but real gents frown upon it most severely.

4. I'd prefer a pasty, but I suppose a salad is just as inviting.

3. The plan will see 30,000 units moved in 18 months.

2. A limit exists, I can't take this anymore.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He said he needed me to trust him again, and that broke it, it's over.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last) Week ; 235

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. With his height, I'm astonished it's actually an issue.

9. The World's oldest-surviving pants suit.

8. If it had mechanical-conversion, we'd be able to annoy twice as many people in that time.

7. Basically, if I can get a big chicken, we're sorted till Monday.

6. Suspects are high, we should check their pockets.

5. Pastel colours only succeed in making you look like a sweet.

4. It's an adventure playground with plastic balls, I think it's for children.

3. My memory only goes back as far as my husband remembers.

2. Tell HR I've had enough of their tossy attotude.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You can't turn around the ethos of a company that's been badly run since the 80s.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 234

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There's a link there, haven't a clue what it is though.

9. It's a tablet, you swallow it, don't try and go on Facebook with it.

8. If there's leftovers, they'll be on the turn soon.

7. Fireworks? At 9pm? What is this, North Korea?

6. Let's move away from what you think you should buy and what would suit you instead.

5. There's a mountain of biscuits that are priced cheaper than the carrier bags, come on.

4. Day-in, day-out, I keep finding myself watching rubbish on ITV.

3. Not long before they're gone, for another year and the argument can simmer til then.

2. If it was worth anything, it wouldn't be on sale of a Sierra boot.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It keeps staring at me, that angel, all haughty on top of the tree, she's such a tart.

Overheard something we've missed? Then email swindoncentric@gmail.com or leave a comment and your phrase could make it onto next weeks list!

Wi-Failed Policy Spun On North Swindon 106 Monies

The spinning of the loss of Section 106 monies from North Swindon is now being called a gain (page 6 of the latest addition of the Link Magazine) by Swindon Borough Council Leader, Rod Bluh.

But, we're all use to it, as followers of Swindon's shameful dalliance in council-funded wi-fi failure, Digital City Limited. Now the political spin used to debatable effect on that mess is being employed to save face on developers money mysteries for North Swindon residents.

The money was originally allocated, mostly for road improvements (notably for building the missing link between Thamesdown Drive and Great Western Way), which never took place. The money was at risk of going back to the developers, but the council renegotiated for a far smaller amount for differing works, some of which has been spent outside of the North Swindon area.

But the loss of the original amount is still being called a gain, as we could have lost all of it, this is the belief of Mr. Bluh. In the same way that the flushing away of £400,000 to Digital City (who achieved not a single of their own business targets) has been spun as to be 'repaid' by UK Broadband, who have entered an entirely separate I.T. contract that is not connected with the Wi-Failed project.

Swindon Centric Says ; But in Swindon's, increasingly appearing to be, calm-down-dear-trust-me-I'm-in-charge/patronising form of governing, it's only to be expected.

If a promise or policy is broken in Swindon, you'll probably hear a slight variation on this fluffiest-of-fluffy phrases as used by Mr. Bluh at the end of this month's Link Magazine article on it, "I think we followed the spirit of the agreement."