Christmas Light Shocks Only Those Who Have Nothing Better To Worry About

In the usual seasonal display of non-news, there has been yet another local ruckus about a provincial town's shopping centre Christmas Lights.

A story getting more uninteresting by the second, Swindon Centric haa learned that this year's town centre lights are 45% smaller than previous lights. Outraged locals have said it's shocking when the rise in Council tax seems to show the money's going somewhere that no-one is sure of.

An unidentified member of Swindon Services was reported to have said that although the lights size was 45% smaller that older designs, the strength of the bulbs has been increased from an average 60 watt to 100 watt in a effort to mask any disparity. It's thought that with brighter lights nobody will be able to see the decorations themselves and therefore not see the diminutive scale of them.

The government office for standards in Christmas lights, OFSWITCH, said when the average year on year change was accounted for with the factoring of all other lights in the Country, Swindon had 18.5% more Christmas Lights than in previous years, though it would have been 25% this year if somone hadn't nicked a reindeer off the nativity scene on the Town Hall steps.

A jolly old fat man in a red suit, with an unhealthy interest in children is the prime suspect.

Swindon's switch on, with no scandal