Wyvern Asbestos 'Least Of Our Worries' After Shock Dragon Discovery

With the Wyvern Theatre shut well into the new year as asbestos is removed, a late breaking story this lunchtime shows that we aren't quite being told the truthiness.

Workers contracted by the Council to ensure the building is fit for purpose have discovered a suspected stash of Ballistic Missiles hidden behind the decorative dragon on the exterior of the structure.

Historians studying ancient documents from the 1970s have found the building was part of the local Civil Defence Plan in response to a nuclear attack. The building was designed to act as a bunker if the unthinkable happened during the Cold War.

As a result the facade which faces Theatre Square was built to contain a missile defence system. The eyes of the dragon retract to allow Surface To Air missiles to be fired as a last line of defence for the town.

A local man out walking his dog, who wished to have his identity kept secret, said ' it's a well known local legend that the missiles were built at the Railway Works'.

MOD and Council officials surprisingly refused to comment.