Multiple Murderer With 15 Victims, Says This Was His Last One, Honest

A local murderer, who has served 2000 hours community service for fifteen murders has promised that this was his last one and he has finally learned his lesson.

Martin Chopper, 39 of Dead End Avenue, Grange Park, has just served his last sentence of community service, when he told Swindon Centric that this really is the last time and the straight and narrow is the way for him now.

The reason Mr Chopper, famed for the use of a meat cleaver in his criminal past, has escaped a prison sentence until now is due to his charity work and his darned nice, approachable and cheery manner.

Local Magistrates refused to comment that efforts were being made to remove Mr Chopper's reserved parking place pass at the Magistrates Court in Gordon Road, Swindon.

As one local man walking his dog, who refused to be named, said '' everyone knows parking round here is murder.''