Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Town's Buildings On Quicksand ; Bible Readers Pleased To See A Modern Remake

Late breaking news tonight about Swindon's much anticipated town centre regeneration by our town's anticipators. Swindon Centric has learned from several high profile builders, with low-profile bum-clevages, that several of town's newest buildings are under threat of collapse.

Many buildings within the town centre are believed to be at risk due to a layer of quicksand that runs right underneath the heart of the town.

Local builders and local authority officials are thought to have known of the situation many months ago. Local quote from Martin Guinessman, contractor worker for Lewis-Linskey and Donald, '' I was told to accompany my boss to the site of the former Police Station at Fleming Way last year. We only actually demolished the roof and top floor of the building, after the first day we came in the next morning to find the building had begun to sinck into a hole. We were shocked to lose a bulldozer and my Simpsons lunchbox at the same site.''

Other buildings which are believed to be at risk of collapse include Plaza 21 at Sanford Street and the refurbished Paramount Building on Princes Street.

A strawpoll of opinions of Swindon Centric workers found no-one was bothered by the rumour from a rival building contractor that the Borough Council's Executive Offices are at serious risk of being sucked into a seam of quicksand.

We'd like to know if you are?

Which buildings would you not mind, containing some of our town's most famous faces, sincking beneath the ground?

Post some suggestions and we'll see what we can do.

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