Residents Get Militant Over Meteorologists False Claims

Town residents have got angry over the lack of rain they've been promised by Swindon weather forecasters.

Several dozen marched this lunchtime to the main Swindon Meteorological Office based at Bath Road and shouted loudly that the staff inside were all liers after this weekend's forecasts.

'' On Sunday we were led to believe there would be showers and again today, I went to work with a brolly and nothing again. They can't carry on issuing these warnings then not letting them happen. This isn't like the government trying to scare us with terror threat warnings, this is weather, the rain, vital to the functioning of the country.'' That comment from Martine St Clair of Abbey Meads.

The police had to intervene and move the protesters on after militant weather forecasters began throwing weather veins and salty seaweed out of the top floor window on the people gathered in the street.

Swindon Centric Says ; They've forecast showers for the rest of the week, will the office get burned down if it stays dry?

Pictures Of Girls Under Umbrellas ; Obvious Attempt To Boost Sales

The Swindon Beaver Herald today defended itself over allegations of cheap journalism after it published a picture of a couple of pretty young girls under an umbrella to accompany a 'news' story.

That story, after extensive investigation by the Swindon Centric team (we went to the paper shop and bought a copy) was a thin try at wrapping up the weather as local news. Despite the heavy rain over the weekend, the story tells us there was no flooding in the town, so where is the news?

Can you find it?

'' We deny strongly the allegation that we just put in a weather story to fill page space and fleshed it out even further by joining it with a big picture of a couple of young, pretty girls smiling under an umbrella.'' That quote from Jimmy Olsen, Cub Reporter of the Swindon Beaver Herald.

In entirely unrelated news, Swindon Beaver Herald sales jumped 47 percent on the edition featuring this picture.

Swindon Centric Says ; Will they still put out their GCSE and A-Level results special with a front cover of the same pretty young things smiling sweetly and holding their results papers? Surely not!