Wyvern Theatre Blackhole Not Explained, Council Grin Hopefully

A date has been set for the reopening of the Wyvern Theatre, which has been shut since last autumn, of September this year.

The reason for the extended shutdown has been laid at the asbestos which was discovered in the roof, it was then discovered that more was in the building than they thought, meaning the reopening date was pushed even further back.

As has been said on other blogs, removal of asbestos isn't difficult, but can be dangerous, but removal of the insulation material is a big business.

Plus, how did the council not know where and how much asbestos was inside a civic building? Isn't it a legal requirement now to know this and if it can't be removed but is left in situ, that's it's sealed away from being a risk to users?

Swindon Centric Says ; For the Borough Council of a town which has had a cluster of asbestos related illnesses from the railway works, it seems bizzare at best and irresponsible at worst.

Man Uses High Blood Pressure As Default Excuse For Doing Nothing

A man has become a master at laziness and inactivity by using a minor medical condition as an excuse on any physical demand placed on him.

Phillip DeVere, 39, of Park Lane, went for a regular check-up for his private medical insurance first thing this morning and after numerous tests, the only thing that his Doctor could find was out of balance was a slightly above average blood pressure level.

'' I don't really drink, or smoke and try to eat correctly, the only contributing factor could be my lack of exercise. He said I just have to be careful.'' That comment from Mr DeVere, safely sat in his favourite armchair.

Initial reports suggested Phillip was going to make a proactive effort to take regular exercise, but he later decided that his new plasma TV was too much to part with.

Rumours are circulating that the relaying of the garden patio is being hived off to Phillip's nephew, despite the medical fact that Mr DeVere could relay Trafalgar Square before his blood pressure peaked anywhere near 'dangerous'.

Swindon Centric Says ; If Phillip gets a cold he'll have to be put in a wheelchair just to blow his nose!

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 5

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

1. Do you ever hear someone and it goes in one ear and out the other?

2. Yeah, it does go to the outlet.

3. They arrested a streaker, wonder if there will be an identity parade?

4. Its ensuite, she thinks that's the reason she's in Band D.

5. Women threw themselves under horses for the right to vote, I don't reckon anyone would do that now.

6. I text her back but don't hold your breath on a reply her boyfriend is back for the weekend.

7. We've got dayriders if we get lost.

8. We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Yeah ok, but there's always Alan Sugar, thinks he's the new Simon Cowell.

9. Big Brother is so over.

10. Is Who Wants To Be A Millionaire still on? I haven't watched ITV since Nick Berry was in Heartbeat.

Up The Creek : Rowers Enter Record Books For Record Council Fine

Swindon Rowers, Stuart Turnbull and Edward Baylis reached Antigua yesterday after a record unsupported row across the Atlantic.

Not wishing to detract from the huge achievement by the pair from the region, Swindon Centric has to bring some exclusive story to our readers attention.

The 24 foot boat they used to carry-out this historic crossing of the 'pond' is actually a Swindon Borough Council issue row boat which has been missing for several weeks.

The craft, number 17 was noticed missing from the main lake at Coate Water by a employee tying the boats-for-hire up one evening. There was then a report several hours later of two men carrying the boat down Fleming Way but no-one really thought anything of it at the time.

A council spokesman refused to be drawn on how much the fine for non-return of the boat would be but a source in the leisure department did say they were getting quotes for a new dome roof for the Oasis Leisure Centre.

Swindon Centric Says ; Hope you've got a Swindon Card to get a discount on that fine lads!

Public Health Alert Issued As Slow News Day Loses Pace

Swindon is currently suffering a lack of news-able news stories, leading to media outlets in the town attempting to talk-up what little 'news' (if the Trades Descriptions Act can allow them to call it that) they have.

'' This has to be the thin end of the wedge in terms of media content'', said Derek Russet a media analyst for Fluffy News Media Group, based at Rivermead.

Other commentators have gone further and suggested that news stories over the coming week could include ;

- The scandal of late buses.

- Outrage over the rise in the price of Greggs sausage rolls.

and maybe even ;

- Cats stuck up trees.

Some news of this type has already started to spread around the town, an example here.

Swindon Centric Says ; Light and frothy, just like the top of a cappucino.

Bath Pulls It's Own Swindon Sized Plug ; Town Goes For Cheaper Shower

With rumour and counter-rumour swirling around the town this weekend that the University Of Bath's Coate Campus and housebuilding plan is clinically dead, the Swindon Centric Blog is cutting through the fog and bringing you the crystal clear facts.

Enough of the descriptive words and here's what we know.

Swindon doesn't have enough drinking water to meet the needs of the University of Bath's Bath, we mean to meet Bath University's needs. As a result the University executive voted to put the Swindon Campus plan on hold.

Essentially the Coate plan is as dead and as dry as a cracked bath tub dumped in an alleyway.

But we understand this evening that the Borough Council is pushing plans through to build the University Of Warwick's Shower somewhere out near Junction 16.

Further rumour that construction work has already begun near the Motorola building of Oxford Brookes University's bidet is entirely unconfirmed, Thames Water didn't comment except to say any such facility would require by law a water meter.

Swindon Centric Says ; University Of Swindon IN BATH! Lets get them back! Who's with us?