Getting The Blank Message

Swindon Centric couldn't quite pass the Magic Roundabout end of Shrivenham Road without smirking and feeling rather proud at the 'Bluh Out' graffiti.

Proud because it might show that Swindon now leads the UK in modern political graffiti and smirking because it was unexpected and entertaining!

As suddenly as it appeared, it had been cleaned off.

Swindon Centric wonders if the homeowner cleaned it himself, if he contacted the graffiti-removal team, if some other concerned citizen contacted the graffiti team or if Swindon Services were proactive and contacted the homeowner about removal themselves?

Swindon Centric Says ; "they spelled my name correctly", remarked Councillor Rod Bluh, Swindon has educated graffiti artists, at least some standards in Swindon are going up.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 135

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Little meeting, then a big lunch.

9. That bag has been there for two weeks.

8. Was I asleep?

7. I'll be annoyed if you've made me miss our stop.

6. What does that guy look like, not like the last one?

5. Please tell me you didn't do that stupid thing we talked about without asking me before?

4. Let's go upstairs before we get to the bridge.

3. Burns Night, why did nobody bother this year?

2. Looking like a shriveled up meatball isn't this season's look, but she didn't get told.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I've hidden his manhood in the one place he'll never look, it's in the washing-up bowl.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 134

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Best cup of tea, this side of Thamesdown Drive.

9. I'm really appreciating your aesthetic value.

8. I've been doing... nothing!

7. He is currently being spoon-fed by his mummy.

6. Get out the tape measure and check the size of Nan's pasties.

5. Look out, here comes Porno Pete.

4. I didn't even know where Haiti was, now I'll never forget.

3. I need three spoons of sugar in a glass full of liquor to get over you.

2. Party food has a lot to live up to and rarely does it justify the name.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She's got a boyfriend, who's okay, I just get the feeling he should appreciate her a thousand times more than he does, I know I would.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

500 Not Out - Citizen Democracy Swindon Thrives

This is Swindon Centric's 500th post and we're as surprised as you that it's still here!

It appears that Citizen Democracy is alive and thriving in Swindon, Komadori's hawk-eye on councillor's practices, and the ramping up of Talk Swindon and it's range of contacts resulting in the highly-addictive 'leakline'.

Swindon Centric Says ; Swindon's new media is leaving Swindon's old-media coughing and dazed in it's wake, maybe even irrelevant?

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 133

"Don't worry, there'll be another one along in a minute."

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I put my legs in gear and nothing happens.

9. We were never quite as comfortable with each other as we thought.

8. It'll never settle.

7. There's more on the way.

6. Anything hot, easily edible and available within a 350 yard radius.

5. That's his spooning face.

4. It's the most pathetic excuse imaginable for entertainment, further down the barrel than X Factor.

3. If he'd been on the watch list, there'd be no need for the enhanced security.

2. There was ice on the inside of the windows, inside I say.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's crystalline water ice, it's not magic, it's weather.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 132

"Do you go up Victoria Road?"

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm about to be magnificent, stand by.

9. It ended with us all singing 'Vienna' whilst walking down the central reservation of Great Western Way.

8. Lovely stuff there and indeed over there.

7. Nerve-racking in the extreme.

6. The world always sounds a worse place when he voices an opinion.

5. Scones, date and walnut cake, and gingerbread, how English is she?

4. You can relax and take the weight off your ego.

3. Face backwards, or die.

2. I'm not going to Gatwick.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I like your flower.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 131

Blast from the past there!

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I want to publicly apologise for that now.

9. It's all respectable, until we get a seat to ourselves.

8. Open the window and throw out the rest of your personality.

7. There's no swimming money left.

6. I think she looks absolutely beautiful, but he doesn't seem to appreciate her at all.

5. Methinks it's time for a little visit.

4. The agony means things can only get better.

3. I've done my best, what more is there?

2. Can I have a private word, on the top deck?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm not going in there unarmed, have you seen the size of those chicken wings?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 130

Who cares if it rolls over now!

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. No, I'm not a photographer, but I do take pictures.

9. Obsessive, but never dull.

8. That's a custard I have never tasted before.

7. Tiger Woods, sounds like somewhere you'd find at Longleat.

6. Lust at the Abbey, what a title.

5. It was released on DVD before it was on the TV, what's the point?

4. That isn't even an excuse, it's a dead pice of roadkill.

3. The guy with the beard from The Boat That Rocked.

2. Whatever you do, don't make me laugh.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Get your jaffas out.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last) ; 129

This is what the new generation of Routemasters are planned to look like.

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Fish and chips, woohoo!

9. Never let go, do you hear me?

8. His name was Sam and believe me, he WAS the man.

7. 7 tins of biscuits for a quid, best bargain of the shopping season so far.

6. How much do you think I owe you?

5. It makes me who I am.

4. This is the age of the pain, namely you.

3. The project needs to be done by the first week of January.

2. Chutney is a curious case indeed.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Take me back and take me there, lets see what was lost.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 128

"I left my transport policy on a bendy bus, has anyone seen it?"

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The cat is called 'cat'.

9. People are just buying anything, most of it'll end up in the first recycling collection after Christmas.

8. What happened on February 17th 1998?

7. She grabs him, kisses him passionately, he's stunned, camera pans out and cut.

6. Blame bloody Dickens.

5. She said she'd be here 'in the morning', well, she's got 43 minutes left.

4. People don't talk like that any more, but I think more people should.

3. On the strike of three, we all snort.

2. Grab the oregano and lets boogie whilst we cook dinner.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Men are just lazy, because they know that women will pick up the slack, I say we just all strike on Christmas Day and see anarchy sweep through.

Overheard something we've missed? Let us know.

It's A Small World - Swindon Twinned With Disney!

Mary Poppins appeared on a westerly breeze, over the Honda factory.

Yes, you read that right and here's the evidence. Spit-spot!

Swindon Centric Says ; Bedknobs and broomsticks! The jokes to be made about where Cinderella's Castle is and who gets to play Mickey Mouse.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 127

Will Thamesdown or Stagecoach be adding fuel cell vehicles to their fleets soon?

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. How could you not love me, now that I'm the only real man in your life?

9. Lets go downtown.

8. It'll be at an accelerated, or speeded up, rate.

7. It's 17 minutes walking distance from his work to the house.

6. Battenberg?

5. We have to go to Bristol sometime.

4. You are NOT laying a hand on me.

3. I'm 15 years old, how does he not believe me?

2. He thought no-one knew about her being pregnant, so when it got written on Facebook, that pretty much burst his bubble.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. If this delay keeps up we'll have to plan who on this bus gets to repopulate the planet.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon Buses Last Week ; 126

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Get your voting fingers out.

9. Mum wants a tigra.

8. My responsibilities are bigger than yours.

7. Mamma put the coins in my eyes 'cos I sure don't believe what I am seeing!

6. There's always a little kid in peril, I say leave them to their own devices.

5. I like that blue shirt a lot.

4. Have M&S started to stock divorce cakes?

3. The tree actually looks rather pretty.

2. If there's ever a tornado, run to the cellar.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. But how will Swindon spend it's saved wi-fi money, that currently goes to BT and Virgin and TalkTalk... biscuits for everyone methinks!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 125

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Its, it's over... I'm sorry, this is where I get off.

9. You can't fit three double-buggies on here.

8. This will knock your socks off.

7. She's lost weight but you can't really tell.

6. It's the miracle and misguidance of television that's done it.

5. Bet there's no-one else on this bus on a wet Friday that's had as big a day as me.

4. It's a big Swindon story, get me Hildy Johnson, fast!

3. When you get onto the lower deck, duck.

2. I want to go all the way, can I do that?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. No-one can read timetables any more, it's a soon-to-be-lost skill.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 124

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The batteries have gone flat, only had them in 3 days.

9. There's not enough news coming out of Canada, are they all okay?

8. Stop watching X-Factor, it's not creative at all.

7. God-forbid that someone should chat on the bus.

6. We'll never know what was said.

5. Wipe the tapes and we'll keep the MD out of bother.

4. I took a PKE reading.

3. The bill was a foot long.

2. Back off before I hit you with these radishes.

nd the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He's like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, but slightly less funny.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last) Week ; 123

"I'm raising bus fares in a recession, tally-ho oiks!"

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Tight-fisted bastard.

9. You can all have a go at these.

8. We're allowed to, we've got the shoes for it.

7. Shore it up with sponge and WD 40.

6. A sex pest is just an uneducated flirter.

5. The body isn't something we talk about on the top-deck.

4. There's dust all over him.

3. Get your hand out of there.

2. Can you feel nostalgic for S Club 7?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's a dirty weekend, he should come back feeling filthy.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Swindon Centric Returns - To Free, Town-Wide Internet!

Swindon Borough Council is to provide all 186,000 residents with free, town-wide wireless internet access.

Though there will be a usage limit, which can be overcome by purchasing additional access, at lower prices than current suppliers.

Swindon Centric Says ; This news sounds excellent. For years, it's been suggested that internet access will become a utility as important as water, gas and electricity. Kudos to the council for pursuing this, very brave and forward-thinking service.

People in Highworth better get ready to cancel their current suppliers, as their free service starts in a few weeks.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 122

Even in landlocked Swindon, we need to take heed of this!

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He's lacking a minority.

9. Someone should do something about the sexual harassment going on there.

8. Yes, we still can.

7. People need to get mad.

6. Keep your eyes on the skies, it's going to be spectacular tonight.

5. Who knows what could happen in the next 17 minutes?

4. Best film in the World.

3. Worst film in the World, anything with Jennifer Aniston.

2. There was a shedding at the wedding.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm going to do something exciting tonight, I promise, bathing in Turkish Delight whilst hanging from the Severn Bridge.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 121

Don't let her break you!

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He'll win a nobel prize for bone-idleness.

9. About 45,000 people die of lack of healthcare in the US every year, because they can't afford it.

8. He's the MP for Kensington and Moredon.

7. We were home before you, and we walked.

6. There's been no progress at all on tracking that asteroid.

5. When did people get paranoid about vaccines?

4. I want to run into the film and shout, "he dies at the end."

3. Sometimes, shouting is the only answer.

2. I don't believe in olive oil.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm coming onto you, if that wasn't fully clear.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 120

If more people wore hats, this blog wouldn't exist!

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Start the clock.

9. It sits between two areas.

8. They got distracted by the bright and shiny object.

7. Add that together with 'inflate' and you've got a great evening.

6. I threw up thinking about the Flintstones.

5. Speaking of zebras.

4. It's a long term aim of mine, to have a shoe room.

3. People took to the streets to celebrate.

2. Before we get there, we're here first.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Join us, before it's too late and some cult gets you.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.