Rodbourne's Bridge Not Too Far

Congratulations to Network Rail for completing the work on the Rodbourne Road bridges a whole week ahead of planned, for reopening tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Swindon Borough Council's enlightened plan to open the bus gates on Penzance Drive certainly did a lot for drivers in the evening rush hour.

On several occasions in the past few weeks, Swindon Centric has been stuck on Wootton Bassett Road in the rush hour crawling towards Mannington Roundabout with hundreds of others. The cause of the logjam was the opening up of the Penzance Drive bus gate at the Wootton Bassett Road end, clearly no-one had retimed the lights being triggered by a small number of cars every few minutes, turning from Penzance Drive east towards Kingshill, meaning all vehicles heading east and west on Wootton Bassett Road had to wait for the lights to change every minute or so to accommodate the small number of drivers taking advantage of the opened-up bus gate. Once past this spot, the traffic flowed fine.

Genius.

A bus gate designed (traffic signal-phasing included) for a bus every five minutes will operate very differently (and alter the flow of traffic on nearby roads for the worse) if you throw a constant flow of cars at it instead and don't account for that with altering the phasing software.

As far as Swindon Centric and Swindon's buses are concerned, Network Rail can shut Rodbourne Road again if it wishes, just please let SBC remember that bus gates are designed for buses and not cars. Don't just cover the 'bus only' signs up and hope for the best.

Parents March Kids To Police Station, This Is Not A Made Up Headline

Two teenagers spotted by CCTV repeatedly defacing a wall in Rodbourne with graffiti have been marched down to Gablecross Police Station, by their parents.

As utterly satisfying as this headline and story is, it doesn't happen very often, so allow Swindon Centric to wallow in it.

Swindon Centric Says ; Aaah, justice is sweet, especially when it's done in such an embarassing manner involving your parents. If we can just work on getting the head of the Wiltshire Constabulary to be the character Rowan Atkinson plays in The Thin Blue Line...

Local Schoolkid Achieves Slightly Above Average Task On His Own

A seven year old from the Rodbourne Road area of Swindon has made local press and even national TV (it was Channel 5, we think that counts), after he was able to polish his own school shoes without adult assistance.

'' This is a tremendous achievement, Swindon we believe provides the perfect environmental factors for nurturing children to know the ins and outs of shoe polishing on their own.'' That comment from Sarah McFooe of the local children's charity, Cotton Wool Kids.

Its expected that little Jimmy, 7 years of age from Rodbourne Road, will be competing at an inter-regional level for South-West/South champion for shoe polishing at an under 11 event.

An unnamed family source is reported to have said this lunchtime, ''we believe he can do it, but he'll have to buff up his ideas first.''

Swindon Centric Says ; What next, children able to go out on their own, back to being chimney sweeps, digging coal out for us in unsafe pits? It could be cheaper than employing immigrants to do it, they could have competition.

Town's Trees Cover The Competition ; Plus Solar Heated Pork Pies

A survey released today shows that Swindon has the highest percentage of Town land covered by trees than any other similar sized centre in the country.

At 87.59%, Swindon has the most number of trees per population head than anywhere else in the UK. That means there are 5.75 trees for every man, woman and child in the Borough.

'' This is a fantastic statistic for the town to boast about. We knew that Swindon residents are keen on being environmentally friendly, this proves it.'' That comment from Ronnie Mc-Green Nose, 48, of the Swindon Action Green Network, where even the teaspoons are from a sustainable managed source at their Rodbourne Road office.

Rumours that renegade members plan to demolish the Civic Offices this weekend, planting 523 rowen trees and build the Council a sustainable collection of treehouses has remained unconfirmed.

Swindon Centric Says ; Our sources tell us players at the County Ground will be supplied with baseball caps this autumn fitted with solar panels for heating pies sustainably at half-time.

That's what I call a result!