Please Have Your PE Kit And Passport Ready

In a landmark move today, a Swindon school has become the first in the UK to not only install heavy duty, ten foot high fencing, but also passport control on the main gate.

'' We believe this is the only way to ensure that terrorists can't gain access to our school'' , that comment from Headteacher Alexandra York of Jennings Way Secondary School, Ash Brake this lunchtime.

Unconfirmed reports by students at the school suggest that there is an underclass of students who gain illegal access to the school by means of a sty at the back of the main field, where no border checks are made. These 'students' as they like to call themselves have the benefit of all the facilities that the legitimate pupils do, but without the humiliation of passport regulations.

Further rumours that the school's governing body is in talks with the highly effective US Department Of Homeland Security to negotiate a contract to franchise out the border control process for pupils and staff at the school has remained unconfirmed.

Reports that the headteacher had been caught up with the sense of fun in the innocent classic Ealing film Passport To Pimlico are being downplayed by the local branch of Blockbuster.

Swindon Centric Says ; Welcome To Swindon, Don't Out Stay Your Visa!