Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week

This idea is taken from an original and still the best at at this fantastic website about the tube .

1. Why does it cost £2.50 for a dayrider on stagecoach but £2.90 for one on Thamesdown, do you get a cushion and coffee?

2. How did you get on last night...oh... yeah, best not to talk about it on the buses, wait until we get off.

3. He's just come out of prison and unless he watches out, he'll be back in before too long.

4. Could you press the bell for me?

5. That bloke in the paper who got chucked off the number 1 for carrying paint, people'll just be hiding them in bags and covering them up.

6. The pensioners go for free after 9.30, so why are they moaning that they want to get on for free at 9am? Just pay like everyone else?

7. They didn't give any warning before they replaced those traffic lights at Farringdon Road. I reckon the council had a whole load of money to use up before the end of the financial year.

8. Did you see those daffodils tied to the railings round the mechanics institute?

9. I'll get some potatoes.

10. You've got to have the right change now, or the driver has to kill you, its company policy.