Social Discrimination Comes Full Circle As Pensioner Arrested For 'Looking Shifty'

Today in a victory for teenagers and anyone below working age, a pensioner in Swindon Town Centre was stopped and questioned by police after drawn attention by hanging round outside Marks And Spencer and 'looking shifty'.

'' Too often it's us who are stopped and told to move on, just because we're hanging out and pensioners feel threatened and think we're all about to nick their hangbags. Todays move see's some of that ignorance being redistributed. We all think it's great.'' This comment came from Charlie Dawes, 16 of South Marston, who has been celebrating with his mates as the police said they'd have a policy of 'equality through discrimination' in the town centre. This means any pensioners congregating in groups of three or more who be asked to move on, if they refused they would be taken into custody and warned.

The police hope to have a Anti Social Behaviour Order in place for over 60s by the end of the month. The area of the ASBO will be bounded by M And S in the Brunel Centre, Boswell's in the Brunel Arcade, BHS in Bridge Street and as far north as those charity shops near the Tourist Information Centre where you can pick up a right bargain and get rid of those Catherine Cookson paperbacks you've read to death. The area already bans the consumption of alcohol and police have said they will be firm and severe on those who break the rules, including the elderly.