Major Employer Pretends To Go Bust ; Tries To Get A Farepak Handout

Breaking suddenly this lunchtime, a major Swindon employer, as yet un-named has pretended to have gone into liquidation as a profit boosting effort in the hope of getting a Farepak style handout.

Trying to raise urgently needed revenue so the company could pay for the fatty foods and expensive wine, spirits and beer for it's Christmas party was the sole reason behind this deception an insider for Swindon Centric.

'' Our bosses said in a strategy meeting that the Farepak bailout scheme that the government launched had raised a few millions pounds and our Director Of Marketing saw no reason why a 'pretend' scheme for our firm couldn't work in a similar way. If there's any money left over, it'll be given to the employees who have been most loyal this year, so I'm going to take the family down to Cornwall for the New Year.''

It was unconfirmed this afternoon whether reports of employees posing as charity workers standing on the corner of Regent Street and The Parade collecting money in red buckets was accurate.