Local Lazy Incumbent Councillor Seeks To Lower Expectations

A local councillor who shall remain nameless until a few lines of this report in the future has made a last ditch effort to ensure a second term in office ahead of Thursday's local elections.

At a informal press conference at a very average cafe in the town centre, where average tea and average coffee was on offer Mr Mike Washington, current councillor for the West, Central & Southern ward in the town seeked to lower expectations of the electorate.

'' I've made it clear that of all the things I promised at the last election have been carried out. This is demonstrated by the fact I promised nothing at all and was very general about policies. Indeed, since I promised to do nothing specific I've actually achieved the goal I gave to the voters and therefore am well trusted to be re-elected for a second run in office on the platform of more of the same''. That quote from Mr Washington in a fantastic example of political doublespeak.

Allegations that Mr Washington feigned ammnesia just after the previous election and claimed never to have made promises including lowering crime to the level people can leave their doors unlocked and encouraging kids to play cricket in the streets like the good old days, have been made by many residents of his ward.

Swindon Centric Says ; Vote for Washington, the candidate who promises to forget his promises. Unlike the other candidates who know that they haven't fulfilled their potentials.