Swindon Breaks Records ; Pensioners Scared Of Long Grass ; Town Comes Top Of Scaredy-Cat Poll

In a shocking and frightening 'story' (by our record breaking timidness), pensioners in Swindon have said they are being held prisoner in their own home.

Not by burglars.

Not by drug dealers.

Not by gangs.

But by grass.

We'll say it again, GRASS.

Grass and not the slightly illegal fun-attached type that you smoke, oh no. The boring, lawn covering kind.

The council have lapsed cutting the grass at pensioners bungalows off Ferndale Road and it's got so long they were all left with no option at all, but to contact the Swindon Beaver Herald to express their outrage.

Swindon Centric Says ; What next, bread that's too hard or water that's too wet? If we were the Daily Mail we would end with 'we're going to hell in a handcart', but we're not, so we won't. We'll just say....GET A GRIP!