Nonsenses Working Overtime

Inconsistent, contradictory and patronising. No, it's not Swindon Borough Council's new mission statement, but it's apparent application of the guidelines regarding the mourning period for The Queen.

Just two days before, the XTC convention booked well in advance at the Steam Museum was cancelled by SBC due to it's inappropriateness in light of the death of The Queen. The organisers then scrambled for alternative venues. 

However, the previous weekend, less than a day and a half after the death announcement, the Swindon Railway Festival, which regularly attracts thousands of people and likely brings in a chunk of the annual Steam revenue, went ahead as advertised. 

So what made the Festival less objectionable in the mourning period than the Convention? It would look to be the poor interpretation of the guidelines by SBC. In their press statement they mention the playing of live and recorded music and other events with the same being cancelled. But the guidelines only mention these events being reconsidered on the day of the funeral itself, if music is featured. 

The outcome of all this is a contradictory and inconsistent impression being given of those who govern Swindon. The input of councillors and officers to the decisions on which events went ahead and those that didn't remains to be determined, most likely it was a combination of both that led to this fudge. 

Did the Council receive an avalanche of complaints about the inappropriateness of the Festival going ahead? Doubtful. Did the commercial revenue expected from one large event going ahead and one smaller one not figure in their decision-making? Who knows.

Swindon needs councillors and officers in charge who make decisions rooted in equal parts common sense and consistency. Clearly neither were present when they got into a spin reading a simple gov.uk page that they still interpreted inconsistently. 

The Mayors of Simpleton, clearly.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 576

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. It's about as surprising as that tint in your hair.

8.

7. I reckon he'll delay, then he'll quit and get divorced.

6.

5. The way they're going, they'll lose their tops.

4.

3. It was yellow and moving very fast, but it could have been a banana on wheels.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You can't corrupt me, you're about 50 years too late.

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Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 575

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. It's so light in the mornings I don't need to put the light on to look for one of my kids.

8.

7. He listened with both ears, but one's all mashed up.

6.

5. I've only just put away my big jumper.

4.

3. Taking it one step at a time will take longer than I've got patience.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Just because you make it sound all cutesy, it doesn't mean I'm going to like what you say.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 574

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. He's progressively taking over the street with cobbling.

8.

7. If it's got walls then it's classed as indoors.

6.

5. When we got there they'd sold out of all the proper-sized ones, we had to get fun-sized.

4.

3. I wouldn't trust him to run a generator.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Kay has aligned herself with Phil's brother-in-law, even though the law would question that definition of family-link.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know. 

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 573

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. You can't be that blatant with a huge pair of sunglasses and a cap on backwards.

8.

7. I whizzed it over to her and she clearly could walk and get it herself.

6.

5. That pastry always me with a hollow feeling.

4.

3. I tried to take them with me, but if they don't want to come, I can't help it.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's only been half-defeated, much like my footie team.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 572

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. More of my street has gone sage.

8.

7. My system simply won't stomach that.

6.

5. I was no longer in the inner circle by then.

4.

3. I don't think that app shows you the buses you want.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. If you slide it side on you'll be able to see the whole fish.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 571

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. I expect at a later date we'll find her interest in him buried under the patio.

8.

7. Why didn't they check the paperwork before giving him the large button?

6.

5. Once it started raining that ruined the film for me.

4.

3. He's not her husband, but she pretends he is.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. If I could, I'd wallpaper over this entire year gone.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 570

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. I don't care that much about Claire, not since I grew out my hair.

8.

7. Making something clear is just pretending to answer the question.

6.

5. I use a reduced fat option on butter chicken.

4.

3. The hail was so loud I had to turn them up.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Liz could have conducted herself better.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 569

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. Lets keep positive is wearing very thin.

8.

7. That moves all the way to the end of the seat.

6.

5. We may not change the world but I will.

4.

3. You sound like you're talking to me from a call centre.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. All I could smell was damp and garlic.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 568

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. I could hear the excitement, then a bike went by.

8.

7. Not being there has more of an impact than turning up.

6.

5. You can't motivate people when they're cold.

4.

3. Keeping that style will mean it eventually comes back around.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It had a red bum and was really cheeky without prompting.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 567

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. I can assure you, not a soul will hear it from me.

8.

7. There's nothing at that stop but a field and some sheep.

6.

5. I was just looking for my phone, it's very similar to yours.

4.

3. Lovely to see you again, without the hair.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. A very discreet and secret rendezvous.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 566

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. You need to check your own risk and be happy with it.

8.

7. The less friction, always the better.

6.

5. The section over there is full of feather, grab it.

4.

3. It's the case that I'm driving around fresh air.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I have a sign with my number on it, it's very small, but I do have one.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 565

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. I wouldn't welcome her, she's a vixen.

8.

7. A few people find it annoying, but I like the colour.

6.

5. What about the voice of the billionaire, does nobody care about them?

4.

3. I can use my charm, it gets me a little bit no further.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's like dancing on the head of a drawing pin in a gale.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 564

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. They can't open, they've not got a license.

8.

7. This road keeps getting longer.

6.

5. There's not a menu of options, it's yes or no.

4.

3. The difference between those pants and top, everything.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He's not interesting enough to get a blood clot.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 563

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. You can buy them without the chocolate on at Asda, they're a cut above.

8.

7. He's motivated, but only for a short distance.

6.

5. Every time he talks about her I want to shake him and say 'move on'.

4.

3. And all that's left is a lonely, hollow feeling.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's no need to be needlessly aggressive, unless there's a need.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 562

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. I've eaten so many biscuits recently I think I crunch when I sit down.

8.

7. That cloud is very oppressive when you look at it for a while.

6.

5. Clearly, he did not think through how thinking would factor in it.

4.

3. Don't think for a second that I'm interested in TV at all.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You can't compare apples and other types of apples.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 561

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. Those flowers look so colourful, almost like they're painted on.

8.

7. Keeping it in the family in a different meaning.

6.

5. I expect that he will look exactly the same, no change for a whole year.

4.

3. It's all takeaways and apps these days.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I can hear a whispering in the morning.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 560

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. I hold out that eventually, they'll realise they built it in the wrong place.

8.

7. It's just all plastic crap but people still buy it.

6.

5. Keep thinking it's the biscuits that will do me in.

4.

3. I didn't have a single person on here for an hour, I could have stayed in bed.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. That statue doesn't look like him, the mouth is from someone else.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 559

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. That look with the long bits never suited you.

8.

7. There's less the authorities can do when it's done en masse.

6.

5. I hear they want to divert them all by the main road and make everyone queue up at the big roundabout.

4.

3. He's been sulking around at home since Christmas.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The wine ended up all over the dog.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last) Week ; 558

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own (socially-distanced) version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10.

9. The hair gets in places I never knew.

8.

7. It's all fried chicken and chips down out street.

6.

5. It looked like it was closing, but is still open.

4.

3. Not that bridge, no, not that bridge.

2.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It'll mean everything to her and nothing to you.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.