Appeal For Missing Cat, What Would T.C do? ; Catch And Ransom on Ebay Of Course!

Much airtime and column inches were given up to a missing cat story in Swindon last week.

Sarah and Marcus Carter, 25 each, of Pretentious Parade, St Andrew's Ridge reported a missing moggie after a week and a half of checking garages, sheds, conservatories and gazebos (compulsory in that part of town) resorted to appealing on the local news for the safe return of Hermione, a one year old cat.

'' She's quite a timid cat and should be approached carefully, or ring us on the number that's been put on the bottom of the screen.'' That comment from Marcus Carter.

The two other cats the Carters own, Harry and Ron are ''inconsolable'' and have been since Hermione vanished taking with her a suitcase of belongings, passport, mobile phone and debit card.

Unconfirmed reports by a feline psychological profiler suggest that Hermione may have become so distraught at having a ridiculous name that she's had a complete mental breakdown and ran off to appear on Monday's Jeremy Kyle show.

The case is being investigated by Officer Dibble.

SwindonCentric Says ; Worse domestic names than that? Let us know. At least the Carter's don't have children can you imagine what they'd have named them. Maybe then they all would have run away, the cats and the children and went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat! Poetry in Swindon, who'd have known!