To Catch A Thief ; Send In The Kids Mac!

With the Old Town area of Swndon suffering under the cloud of a group of kids and teenagers causing havoc, the reason for the inability to catch those responsible has been put down to the lack of CCTV in the area of Swindon on top of the hill.

Previously most in the town had assumed because the Old Town was the respectable part of Swindon and a '' bit posh '', it didn't suffer too much bother compared to the young upstart that is the New Town at the bottom of Victoria Hill.

Well we can reveal this evening that authorities have come up with a genius solution to all these problems.

After watching Bugsy Malone over the Easter holidays, law-enforcement officials have deemed to employ a small group of under eighteen years-olds to take policing into their own hands for a limited but as yet un-disclosed period.

'' They will not be armed with batons or pepper spray or stun guns, but we will be issuing splurge guns and cap guns to these Special Officers.'' That comment from James McFadgen of the community support arm of Wiltshire Constabulary.

Swindon Centric Says ; We'll be buying the first special officer who catches one of these kids a non-alcoholic burbon at Fat Sam's Speakeasy!

Rumours are circulating this evening that these Special Officers will be issued with cars like those in the film that are pedal powered.