Thursday, April 26, 2007

Town Pickpockets Perform To Music ; Robberies Made Theatrical - Public Buy The Soundtrack

In a twist to a story running through the town tonight, Swindon Centric has the full, accurate details.

There has been a sharp rise in purse-snatching from people in the town centre. It's believed the bulk of the rise is due to a roaming gang that travel specifically to Swindon to target shoppers for a few days, then leave town.

But word has been heard on the street that the leader of the pickpocketing gang is a man called Mr George Fagin who's street urchins have been seen walking in the town centre and occasionally bursting into song for no reason at all, except for the sheer joy of it, usually including a song and dance number at the same time.

Office workers on their lunchbreak were entertained while queuing at the pasty shop in the Parade with a tuneful rendition of 'Food Glorious Food' today. At the end, as the crowd of Swindonians applauded and the street urchins took a bow, two community support officers gave chase, but lost them in the alleys and backstreets and in the London-style peasouper fog that had suddenly decended on the town centre.

'' We advise all shoppers and anyone passing through the town centre to be on their guard. These cheeky-chappy ne'er do wells can be spotted by their fingerless gloves and thick clothing which looks suspicious, especially in the mild weather.'' That comment from community officer Harry Reed.

He added that anyone hearing a group of under 18 year old boys singing show tunes in a East End accent was a dead give-away.

Swindon Centric Says ; If you hear anyone whistling 'you've got to pick a pocket or two' or asking for more gruel, then be wary!

Cor blimey gov'ner!

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