Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 182

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Is that you, or a thin version of what I hope you would be?

9. It's howling like a wolf at the vet's.

8. Stacey wouldn't like a set of hair straighteners as her main present.

7. If it explodes, there's going to be presents all over the bodies.

6. Who cares who carves it? Is it going to make him less of a man if M&S have pre-sliced it?

5. The bell will toll for not just thee, but the entire rotten bunch of you, give me it back!

4. Preparing for some Christmas sharin', or words to that seasonal effect.

3. They stop after 8 o'clock, considering the last one's at 4.25pm, it makes very little difference.

2. His reply was as expected, moany, lacking in any interest or respect and via a memo.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Remember me? I used to run around after you before I realised what a cow you were?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 181

There's more excitement on the top deck.

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a buffet, there'll be paper plates I'm sure.

9. Sounds like lift music to me, not that I've ever been in one.

8. Much like the elastic in your pants, it's failing all over.

7. Hold on, my hands are full.

6. Check and see whether he's home yet, if not, we'll go to my mother's.

5. You've got to be joking me?

4. He seemed frightfully surprised, throughout the evening, that I could, and was, dancing.

3. Take your hat off, this is not a film noir.

2. I see that you bought shiny wrapping paper, rather devil-may-care for you?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's doubtful it'll be busy, besides, who shops in their, apart from mercinaries and your family?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Enterprising New Year Bus Price Cuts!

With buses still running through the snow today, this news of a price cut (yes, CUT!) by Stagecoach in Swindon and Thamesdown Transport seems terribly appropriate.

The 7-day TravelPassPlus (allowing unlimited bus travel on both companies buses within Swindon and out to Wootton Bassett, Cricklade, Highworth, Foxhill and a host of other places) is being slashed to £10 between the 9th January and the 5th February.

This is great news for those who commute from places outside the town and passengers within Swindon. The usual price for a 7-day TravelPass in the Swindon area is £13 and for those in the 7-day TravelPassPlus area is £15.

Swindon Centric Says ; Well done Stagecoach and Thamesdown, get saving those pounds in the New Year!

Wi-Fail : Councillor Contradicts Roll-Out Plan By Digital City

A 'where-aren't-we-now' story this week by the Swindon Advertiser's Charley Morgan did well to keep the public's attention on the collapsing council-backed project.

One comment by everyone's favourite 'Your councillor on the wi-fi company's board', Garry Perkins is very telling.

The quote is, "And we hope a large part of the town will be completed by this time next year."

When Rikki Hunt (CEO of Digital City, the company meant to be doing the work) appeared on Graham Mack's Swindon Breakfast Show on BBC Wiltshire at the start of October, this exchange occurred...

Graham Mack : "So it'll be finished this time next year?"

Rikki Hunt : "Yeah".

Swindon Centric Says : Who's right? Who's wrong? Who knows?!!!!

PS - If you're having a Christmas Party this weekend, Swindon Centric wishes you a great time, and hopes you can leave work worries at the door.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 180

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She was a force of nature.

9. It's down Fleet Street, no, the really grotty bit.

8. I've now become 17% more productive since getting divorced.

7. How many people did that and got away with it though.

6. Salmon, chicken or pasta, you have 10 seconds to decided.

5. At home last time I checked, among the mass of memories in the garage.

4. I couldn't stop laughing, then realised he was just getting warmed up.

3. Four layers, I am the Layer King!

2. There's a thaw coming, hold onto your frozen bits.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I predicted a riot and look what happened, hope they know a good glazier.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Week ; 179

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Trickle-down doesn't work.

9. Horizontal and vertical strips, do you have the number for the fashion police?

8. You've sold yourself to your work.

7. He stands around, cheers occasionally, and comes home with a cold.

6. They're so upset, they're practically throwing chairs against the wall.

5. She's shaking hands with all the people who'd rather have the job.

4. It's still likely that he'll act like an idiot and make you stand up.

3. How do I sweeten the offer without pushing Sarah into a diabetic coma?

2. The deal stands, you owe me a tenner.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'd rather you didn't kiss me, but go on!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Week ; 178

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I oppose your incompetence.

9. Two out of the three people in our department thing he'll be gone by the Spring.

8. I will do everything in my power to look as inappropriate for the end of year party.

7. You know me, the chase is half the fun.

6. We think it's wrong, that's the official line, meanwhile, we're all doing it.

5. It's being held hostage by free-loading idiots.

4. I suspect your plan may have more holes than a fishing net Sandra.

3. He asked her out, she was only 15!

2. This notion that we're all safe is exactly what they want us to think.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. When everyone start using sweet potatoes?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Last Week ; 177

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Does she have a pin and where is it?

9. We're ignoring the pressure all around us.

8. You are asking for trouble.

7. It adds 900 million pounds to the debt.

6. In return for that, I want you to promise me you'll stop being a sod.

5. No decorations this year, I can't be arsed.

4. The 'modern economy', no-one knows what that means!

3. What about your continuing ability to be suave?

2. Christmas party in November, say what?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You've got to fight for your right... to a seat over the wheel arch.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 176

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's got a shot of whiskey in it, for that extra double-kick.

9. It gave me a great chance to waffle until the senior managers started to lose feeling in their budgets.

8. Bus pass, BUS PASS, where is it?!

7. I put it to you that it's the hottest topic of the moment, iphone or blackberry?

6. That wasn't romance, that was wine.

5. What's your pin, so we can be in contact even when we're poor and broke?

4. I'll leave you behind at Specsavers and catch you up at Rymans.

3. There's plants all hanging from it, you'll have to see it, I can't describe it.

2. She's planning to dress up with huge pants, a pink top and giant ears.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He's one of life's great thinkers... never done a thing, but he's like your Dad; always thinking.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Keep Your Ear To The Wall

After a delay, today saw the green walls in Canal Walk revealed. The larger one on the pedestrian bridge is radically different to what's gone before. The other green wall is smaller, and higher up, on the thin edge of the eastern side of the girder bridge.

Despite the heated discussion about the water feature and the town centre redevelopment, the green wall has got off (relatively) lightly. It'll be interesting to see how it goes, what it looks like in brighter conditions and what flowers/matures on it.

Swindon Centric Says : The green wall is certainly a grower, not too sure about the Mickey Mouse ears being put on the wall of the Brunel carpark at the same time. A moment after this picture was taken, Swindon Centric saw one side of the ears become terribly lopsided, appeared a worker had let go, oops!

Tune in tomorrow to see if the ears are where they should be, unlike Swindon Centric's which are always deliberately kept to the ground.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 175

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's the same, but on a different World.

9. She told me to avoid fizzy drinks, fool!

8. If it's easy, it's probably not worth it... but it is terribly convenient.

7. I think she was the makeup artist on Titanic, or was it Hollyoaks?

6. The final showdown shall feature my wife, her mother-in-law and nothing but my wit!

5. He always takes the apposing view, it's irritating but necessary.

4. I spent half an hour checking if it was true, an hour and a half seeing who told her and most of the afternoon apologising.

3. If it catches fire, don't worry, I never liked this top anyway.

2. Why do most of our arguments centre around food, are we getting conversationally obese?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The graves shall yawn and the dead shall rise, put that in the press release, go on!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Labour Win Moredon By-Election

It may be off everyone else's political radar, but a few minutes ago, Labour won the Moredon council seat in the by-election.

The resignation of former Conservative councillor Stephanie Excell in September (due, as she's sort-of revealed since was because she couldn't agree with budget cuts) was the cause of the by-election.

Swindon Centric Says ; This won't alter the balance of power in the council, but, well... it's just nice in these days of Conservatism to know the electorate haven't been scared by the right that the cuts are the only way forward.

Those numbers in full...

Conservative 755

Labour 887

UKIP 129

Lib Dem 98

If this is repeated all across the country Swindon Centric's election desk can confirm that the Lib Dems would have the same number of votes as a dead head of cabbage (with apologies to cabbage heads everywhere).

Rent-Free Premises Available (No Lift Access, Will Have To Lug Own Conscience)

If you follow to it's logical conclusion the fact that Digital City were given rent-free offices in the David Murray John building because it doesn't have lift access and therefore wouldn't be let-able to any private company tenant, this could be a huge boon for some in this era of Big Society. According to this report from the Advertiser, Labour claim £3,000 could be saved by Digital City vacating their grace and favour office.

Swindon Centric Says ; So if you're a charity, volunteer organisation or quango who are in need of premises in these lean times, contact Swindon Borough Council and as long as you sit in that grey area on a venn diagram, you could be living rent free!

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 174

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Chocolate, potatoes, orange juice and kitchen roll... not at the same time!

9. He started to lollygag.

8. He's missing out totally on this sick day out.

7. Haydon Wick is starting to get like Lawns, full of pensioners with attitude.

6. There's an imbalance and at the moment she likes to be told what to do.

5. I'm as fine as can be, considering what happened to those teeth.

4. There should be a ducking for supermarkets that put Christmas stuff out before Halloween.

3. She's going as a vampire and he as a vampire killer, she's getting a 20 minute head start otherwise the evening's over before it's started.

2. You're crushing my eggs and thick-cut crinkle chips.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's a major tenant to his plan to make everyone yield and become a member of the master-race, rather ambitious for a guy in a semi.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Week ; 173

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It doesn't need charging, it lasts forever.

9. This was the third time it happens, he's only got three nails left now.

8. He's looks like Alan Carr with good teeth.

7. According to reports it wasn't as good as it sounded.

6. Unfair but tough, that's the Lib Dem slogan now.

5. You can't park there, they're using it for a seminar.

4. You're mixing him up with the footballer who sleeps with everyone.

3. He had these massive, erm, ambitions, foolish really.

2. In a way it's a hundred percent correct, but mostly wrong.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I suspect he hasn't got the best intentions after last Thursday.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Week ; 172

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a rather cool reception, surprising, given the mild weather.

9. But what about Bruce.

8. I would like them both to be happy... and apart.

7. You'll have to move to accounting.

6. Chickpeas is a perfectly acceptable addition to a pasta sauce.

5. If he falls asleep, leave him until it goes back to town.

4. Keep quiet and calm down, otherwise I won't be responsible.

3. She's back in the news and out of her clothes.

2. I know this and so does every lying bastard.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm surrendering my right to care about X-Factor.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Last Last Last Week ; 171

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They're paying, there's pressure.

9. Don't give her the good stuff!

8. It could easily cause damage or some minor bomb damage.

7. I don't have the time for this faff.

6. It would frighten me to my boots.

5. Not taste so good.

4. Keen in the bed department, unconscious that is.

3. Any questions... good.

2. Give me your phone!

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's all to do with the cutbacks, you won't be here in a few months.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

We've Got Our Digital City Wi-Fi Eye On You

Digital City (the council funded business that's missed a platter of deadlines for giving Swindon free wi-fi) has bid to install CCTV cameras in Broadgreen.

Swindon Centric Says ; Shouldn't they be concentrating on fulfilling their initial commitments than making more?

Sparks Effect Not Extinguished By CSR

The electrification of the Great Western Main Line wasn't mentioned by the Chancellor yesterday, and sources say the scheme is "in the balance" reports Wales Online (Swindon Centric isn't able to cut and paste this into a hyperlink at the moment, but a quick Google search will find it).

The source quote in full says "This is genuinely in the balance, and we are doing all we can to see if it can be done. Do not read anything into the fact it was not mentioned by George Osbourne in his statement."

Swindon Centric Says ; A phased scheme, to Reading and then onto Oxford and eventually to Swindon and Westwards might grease Osbourne's wheels.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 170

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He called her 'Madam', he was lucky to be able to walk after.

9. There are fourteen different ways to get there and it appears we're seeing a few of them this afternoon.

8. A new restaurant is just what the area needs.

7. They think it's better for Marcus that way.

6. I'm a very good scientist, but I'm sure you know that.

5. Move to a more appropriate position before they shut you down.

4. Popcorn not included, but encouraged.

3. It's time for a change, besides, it's falling apart.

2. They'll start to get better before you know your way around in the dark.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I like it on the dining room table.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

The Living Wall : Autumn Planting

Whatever administration and red tape would appear now to be over and it's full steam ahead for the Living Wall on the bridges above Canal Walk.

Swindon Centric Says ; We've got some spare crocus bulbs, any help?

P.S. - It's a shame that this seems to have been 'announced' by the council, rather than Forward Swindon, there's nothing on their main site, or recently reinvigorated twitter page about it. Maybe the council wanted to get this out to be seen to be doing something on town centre improvements after Karen Walker's resignation.

But why not get Forward Swindon to announce this? Otherwise, what's the point of the company?

Power Cut Caused By Pot-Shot Vandalism

Last week's blue flash at 1am at the electrical substation at Moredon that caused a power cut to various parts of Swindon was caused by malicious vandalism.

A reply to an enquiry from Scottish and Southern Energy revealed that an insulator for a 33,000 volt line at the substation was damaged, causing a short-circuit and the loss of power across the town.

What's more worrying and annoying is that the insulator was damaged in a particular way from an 'outside source', it's thought to have been shot with an air rifle.

Swindon Centric Says ; Hopefully, their power went off too, fools.

Swindon Sitcom Loses Principal Character

Karen Walker has left Forward Swindon after just three months in the job.

Such a shame, considering she was working on a new regeneration plan for the town centre (taking into account the current/old one has failed) and the simple move of grassing over empty plots to give the town a radical improvement in appearance and increase in (temporary) open space.

It was for 'personal reasons', but, word is, her approach was at odds with Swindon Borough Council, who wanted a 'quick reaction plan' for when the economy picks up. The council are currently trying to push through the stunningly unimaginative scheme for Regent Circus.

Swindon Centric Says ; We need a long-term plan, otherwise we'll be in the same place in a decade, think beyond your own political interests councillors and give us some substance!

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon Buses Last Week ; 169

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Let's go to my house.

9. Move your feet, they're huge.

8. You're tremendously excited!

7. Come and look at this.

6. Parsnips and carrots, it's gone winterish.

5. Biscuits are the slow road towards obesity.

4. I'm hoping for a smart card.

3. She didn't wash her hands, grubby like a chimney sweep.

2. If you need more, ask me in an hour.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He's funnier than a six pound note and I've got one.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 168

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Bish, bash, bosh, job done.

9. I'm resigning, I just don't care any more.

8. It's of very little help, despite the mostly full-hearted intentions.

7. I've really grown into my baldness.

6. Follow the leader and wait for a pilotman by the gate.

5. These new shoes have been made out of old tires.

4. Let's take all the buses and line them all up, they'd stretch the entire length of Queens Drive.

3. It's a national responsibility, you can't be that narrow-minded.

2. The survey came out with a sampling of the most average group of consumers we could find and they all said they'd only like to buy Christmas stuff in December.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Two millionaire comedians, get their slightly less successful best mate to front a show in which he gets paid well-enough, but they make him look like a tit? Oh the dignity of these so-called 'comedy saviours'!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Council Meeting Meltdown - Bluh Apologises

Swindon Borough Council melted down in front of the public's eyes tonight.

A shambolic full council meeting was held this evening, with members of the public's questions cut off, talking-down to them by officials, interruptions by the Mayor and more.

At one point a member of the public told off the councilors and officials present for their behaviour, manners and attitude towards the public present.

Things came to a head when Council leader Rod Bluh apologised for what he considers the worst ever council meeting he's attended.

Swindon Centric Says ; The public's confidence, shaky as it was, has been shot to pieces. You know things are bad when Councillor Fionuala Foley then pleads with the members of the public who've been insulted to continue to engage with their council.

Council Bleeds As Budget Crunch Comes

Councillor Stephanie Excell (Conservative, Moredon) has resigned, confirmed by Councillor Steve Wakefield (Independent, Toothill & Westlea) on Talk Swindon.

Swindon Centric Says ; With the strike this weekend, the Mechanics', the emergency budget (sorry 'review') and a full council meeting tomorrow, this is another item the ruling Conservative party could have done without.

So, Stephanie, what was it? Answers on a piece of recycled Mechanics' Institute roof.

Explosions, Blue Flashes & Power Cuts

There was a blue flash (something going bang?) at an electrical substation in Moredon at 1 o'clock this morning, causing a power cut across various parts of the town.

Swindon Centric Says ; Something to liven up a quiet Sunday evening, no doubt!

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 167

Gentlemen, when did you last give up your seat on a crowded bus? Make it your task for this week.

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Jaffa Cakes have practically nothing bad in them, it's what it said on a packet.

9. Look at the gorgeousness.

8. It's so full on here I think it might just explode.

7. I'm not a trained dog, I'm a Level 3 employee.

6. On the soul train, climb aboard!

5. Just let them all on, no tickets.

4. Such a childish outburst from someone who can't wear shoes with laces.

3. I've barely started on that thing you did with your hair.

2. What the hell does LMC stand for?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The film is just an excuse for uber comedians to make fun of stupid people and any other film is better than it, do not endorse it by garnering it with your attention.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Bus Tickets, Timetable Tweaks & The Great Roof Rerouting Caper

Once Stagecoach in Swindon introduce their smartcards, let's hope Swindon's fashionistas make the way you carry your card the next big-thing for this autumn's season.

For those residents of Okus, your bus service is being changed again, but just by tweaking. The number 22 will now run to the very end of Okus Road and turn round at St. Helen's View. This change may be a result of feedback from passengers after the changes necessary due to funding cuts, small but may be significant for those passengers living at the far western end of Okus.

Any further possible changes to the bus service to Okus will have to wait to see how heavily debated the issue is at the next full council meeting.

Anyone who may have caught a Stagecoach bus since the beginning of the month will have noticed the new ticket machines they've fitted, which, most interestingly, have a 'touch in' facility for smartcards.

Due to the 'raising the roof' of the Mechanic's Institute, the usual route for services 1, 1A, 8, 13, 14, 19, 19A, 27, 29, 53, 54, 55 and 55A will change to be via Faringdon Road and Park Lane, rather than via Emlyn Square. That diversion starts from tomorrow (Monday 13th) and will be until further notice.

Swindon Centric Says ; Will Stagecoach soon be launching a smartcard ticket range in the town and will it be compatible and complimentary to that Network Card-branded system that's been in use for a while on Thamesdown?

Mechanics' To Become Swindon Borough Council's Defining Moment?

The roof of the Mechanic's Institute is weak enough to be in danger of collapse and Friday's press release from Swindon Borough Council details the removal of the roof before that happens.

After much politicking in recent years, the announcement that the Council were to carry out the emergency repair work on the Mechanics had the feel of a sudden redemptive move by a drunk waking up the morning after. There was much throwing up of specially made banners and hoardings and portacabins and then... little visible work appeared to happen.

The fact the roof was about to fall on Swindon Commercial Services workers explains that.

In the intervening days and weeks between SCS moving in and today the full-extent of the works needed to be taken has become starkly clear to all involved. There seemed to be an attempt to soften the blow when the building's condition was given an interim assessment in this press release. No simple quick fix, photo-op and glory taking by councillors seems possible and thank goodness.

Swindon Centric Says ; The fate of this building represents perfectly the fate of Swindon Borough Council and it's ruling Conservative party. What outwardly seemed solid-enough clearly, after investigation, is dangerously in need of work before it collapses in on itself and showers everyone, councillors, council workers and locals with debris.

If this weekend's announcement of careful, painstaking dismantling and repair of the northern roof is followed through, this could just mark a brave (a word never used in politics, for it represents a true decision that can lead to political suicide for the people concerned) move that Swindon Borough Council's ruling executive needed to make.

Does today mark the day our Council finally chose to be a council?

Only the fate of the roof in Emlyn Square can be the marker for that (appropriately, it's currently covered in Conservative-blue plastic sheeting).

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 166

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It wasn't separate then, and it worked perfectly well.

9. Preparations are progressing at a walking-through-toffee pace.

8. It's a turning point.

7. Impact-specific, time-sensitive projective achievements.

6. I'm not even supposed to be here, I'm a man on the run.

5. There's eight new ones, can't wait to cop them.

4. We were talking and the subject of your strange gait cropped up.

3. Pizza resembles something somebody's regurgitated.

2. You teach it, but you don't believe it.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You must be joking if you think I'm taking responsibility for that thing, put it AWAY!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 165

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I can't remember what name was used, but it included many f's.

9. Did you get that second insulting text as well?

8. I'm keen to see something, anything, involving cooking in that kitchen.

7. It was clear we're heading for Disney.

6. You need scatter-rugs and a personality.

5. Mixed, baked and thoroughly cheesed-off.

4. Get David, ask him, then go totally the other way.

3. Everyone can respond to.

2. Charlotte's not been seen since March, she could have been cut back, it's a long name badge to produce.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Pick it up, run with it, slow down, collapse, job done.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 164

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Go after him and see if he runs off.

9. Extend them to the top three percent and we could all have double-glazing.

8. It's a fourth plank, good looking, but ultimately useless.

7. Don't tell me fine dining involves anything you can microwave.

6. A fire tornado, aren't they being phased out?

5. It's the week after, then all things will become humdrum routine.

4. Finally to Liden.

3. You need a better excuse to not go than that.

2. Accept what was said, slash all his clothes and move on.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. At least in Wales I know where I stand.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 163

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He didn't have a stich on.

9. They've never got anything in apart from biscuits, ready meals and an attitude.

8. It's articulated, like them buses.

7. Owned by the holding company, using the old name, managed by the Swiss.

6. I'm taking it all off for a 3rd time now.

5. It's a whole new World.

4. Even I fancy him and I'm not into the men.

3. Right now, it's happening, NOW!

2. Put that earpiece down and listen.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm speaking with the greatest of sincerity, but you're a boring git.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Confirmed - Wi-Fi Scheme Has NO Paying Customers

This scheme has all the shades of The Simpson's Monorail episode.

The open secret about the commercial success of Digital City's venture (using £450,000 of council money) has been confirmed by this article.

There are no paying customers for the business, those people in Highworth are only using the free one at present. The article gives the indication that Digital City haven't chosen to launch the pay service because of the problems encountered in Highworth (the hills and the lack of lamposts)

Swindon Centric Says ; "The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley and I come before you good people today with an idea..."If Leonard Nimoy doesn't turn up soon, we'll not be happy.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 162

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It was right out in the countryside.

9. There was absolutely nothing special about it.

8. The open air, with a sniff of a gherkin for added spice.

7. Use the spotlight, then you can make it seem very worrying.

6. I've actually invaded your brain and implanted that idea, so I claim it for myself.

5. Bending and warped, I'm worried it might fall out of it's slot and ruin everything.

4. Get comfortable, I've got a story to tell you.

3. How does it work, do you have to hand your self-respect in at the door.

2. I'm worth perhaps 17 times more than her mid-level management babbleness.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The odds have strangely lined up in her favour, this never happens.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Adver to Tories : It's Bin Fun, But Take Out Your Own Trash

It would appear that the Swindon Advertiser has fallen out of love with the Swindon Conservatives. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? That most contentious of local stories, wheelie bins.

Coverage and comment was gathered from Councillor Derique Montaut (who a recent front page story headline seemed to be aimed at regarding critics of the wi-fi) to fellow Swindon Conservatives own Councillor Fionuala Foley (who was Council Deputy Leader, but stepped down), that spending the £30,000 to audit waste in dustcarts was a waste of money.

Swindon Centric Says ; A tip-of-the-hat to Charley Morgan for breaking the Adver's duck on critical coverage on Swindon Borough Council. As Chris Watts at Talk Swindon has said, the Pravda name applied to the paper may have just slipped after the response to the coverage by the Advertiser at the latest Cabinet Meeting.

Is the Grass Greener On the Forward Swindon Side?

A very welcomed comment in Karen Walker's (Chief Executive of the rebranded town regeneration agency, Forward Swindon) presentation to a Swindon Borough Council scrutiny meeting is the proposal to remove the white hoardings around vacant land and grassing over them for public use.

This idea was mentioned last year, but nothing came of it.

Swindon Centric Says ; A very small amount of money grassing over the empty plots of land in town would be a huge boost to just making the town centre look better. This could be done in a matter of weeks, this really is something that is so simple, there's no reason for it to not happen.

Bus Cuts & Improvements

Today marks changes for several bus routes around Swindon, with Thamesdown's effected the most by subsidy cuts by Swindon Borough Council. The company has made great efforts to merge routes to lessen the difficulty for passengers.

One quiet and welcomed change is that from today also, Stagecoach in Swindon have returned their number 8 service to a half-hour frequency, according to notices on bus stops, due to 'customer feedback'.

Swindon Centric Says ; If services you use have been effected, please comment on how the changes have impacted on you, good or bad, after a couple of weeks, as, for Stagecoach passengers, it can have an effect.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 161

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I suspect he's really an arse.

9. Those reports need to be finished in the next 2 hours.

8. I guess he'll take the money out of petty cash and replace it with a mouldy banana.

7. This seat doesn't give you as good a view.

6. Tropical storm Clive is now approaching Broome Manor.

5. Not there, there.

4. I got you a timetable, under the cucumber.

3. Even Sarah wouldn't eat it, so it must have been bad.

2. We need to move forward on this.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. We walked up it, cos I don't know when we'll be back, and who knows what'll happen in the future.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 160

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. This is the end for all who use iPhones.

9. It was nearly four pounds, just for that.

8. There's litter everywhere, what is this, Gotham City?

7. Slow down, so who's Jacob and why can't she just choose one?

6. The label says I'm fully edible.

5. The last one you can catch before they swap over, 3 minutes.

4. I expect them to ask for more help once the next quarter begins.

3. Her she comes, looking like she gives a damn.

2. The money saved can be invested wisely, in shoes.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She doesn't want to disgrace herself before term starts.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 159

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Go make what you like.

9. There's no audience for it.

8. Who's stupid idea are we embarked on now?

7. I burnt my hand for the sake of love.

6. It's a very difficult thing to tag.

5. They made me weep, I weep at everything though.

4. This seat is for people with fat bottoms.

3. It tis rather widgety.

2. I demand calm, poise and reserve the right to scream at any time.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Fish fingers or chicken wings, can I just eat the box they come in?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thamesdown 1, Council 0 In Bus Changes

Thamesdown Transport have released the details of the service changes to happen from the 25th of July after the cutting and withdrawing of funding by house builders and Swindon Borough Council.

A hero and a villain have clearly emerged from this news, through the combination of their respective actions and words.

Thamesdown Transport have pulled out the best of a bad bunch, with no total withdrawal of routes but merging and lengthening of those lacking subsidy plus frequency cuts.

Swindon Borough Council's clear favouritism for people to drive into the town centre was made public with the recent cut in town centre car parking charges, but has now been cemented by the comments made in the Swindon Advertiser story on the bus service cuts. In reference to the concessionary fare scheme for OAPs, this was said, "Swindon Council now has to spend between £300,000 and £400,000 a year to meet the cost of the scheme, which is money that could otherwise be used to fund other transport services."

Swindon Centric Says ; Is the £100,000 now not being given to Thamesdown Transport (among other operators) now to be used to prop-up the car-park charges cuts? The Council will happily cut those charges, but will not lobby to counteract the underfunding it admits it has suffered under the concessionary fares scheme.

This Council favours car drivers over bus passengers and this is now abundantly clear. We need to be thankful for Thamesdown Transport, which, ironically is a wholly-owned Swindon Borough Council company, but has shown in it's response to the cuts has far more local knowledge, consideration and care for it's passengers than the Council.

There is a large space of clear (Thamesdown-liveried) blue water between Thamesdown and Swindon Borough Council. Would that it were the same for other council-invested companies...

The Living Wall : Soon To Germinate?

Swindon Centric has an update on the Living Wall (posted about back in May) that was planned as part of the Canal Walk redevelopment.

After a tip-off, administration behind the scenes is currently being concluded and then work can start.

Swindon Centric Says ; Thank you G for the tip-off on this growing story. Groan.... apologies... puns like that should be buried... and sorry again.

All Quiet on the Forward Swindon Front

The rebranding of the New Swindon Company into Forward Swindon has also seen other changes with a new chief executive, who seems a tad shy of local media (well, the Swindon Advertiser, who seems sore that she didn't return their phone calls), but some interesting information can be gleaned from her coverage in the Financial Times.

The FT article and that of the Swindon Advertiser mainly just talks about the tax break and marketing opportunities that Forward Swindon plan to make of Swindon. Not much talk about bricks and mortar rebuilding work.

Swindon Centric Says ; As Komadori has pointed out, the effectiveness of this new appointment is questionable, given previous experience. Then again, quangos are pretty unanswerable to anyone, but surely the best hope for an organisation charged with helping to rebuild the town centre is to staff it with architects, town planners and local stakeholders who actually have local knowledge, use the town centre and know what's needed to make it functional, relevant and attractive.

If this piece of news (specifically the comment under the story) is to be believed, everyone's favourite wi-fi businessman may soon have a hand in the town centre regeneration. Then again, since the loan to Digital City started to roll after being signed off on a note earmarking the money for small business/town centre regeneration , thank god for the small mercy that the town centre is due to be the second place to get the wi-fi. After Highworth, which still isn't finished...

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 158

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. 15 buns for you and none for me.

9. Head across the pond.

8. He remained unmoved.

7. We'll have to wait and see what floats to the surface.

6. Bikers demand far more respect.

5. The University of Pompous Arses.

4. You should design yourself a way out of that hole you've dug.

3. Jacket potatoes, god I love them!

2. It's frightening, put it away.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. A fresh pot of tea and a slice of cake for your pain.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

"Success is based on the strength of your integrity" - Rikki Hunt

The SwindonWeb profile of Rikki Hunt makes interesting reading, especially in light of the setting up of Digital City and the wi-fi scheme late last year.

In his own words "Success is based on the strength of your integrity. Do what you say you will."

Swindon Centric Says ; According to his own words then, we have nothing to worry about. Convinced?

P.S. The addition of an advert for Digital City's 'Signal' at the very bottom of that page could be a metaphor for the marketing of the wi-fi scheme by Digital City : small, hidden and keeping as low a profile as possible.

Council Steps Up & Confirms Mechanics Work

Repair work on making the Mechanics' Institute safe has been confirmed by Swindon Borough Council.

Chances are you may have missed this news, but it's in the latest issue of Swindon News that Swindon Centric posted about yesterday (Scroll down on the link and you'll find it on the sixth page).

The work has been ordered by the council to make the building safe and money (in the form of a grant of £200,000 from English Heritage) spent will be claimed back from the owner.

Swindon Centric Says ; Will the work be carried out by Swindon Commercial Services or will the council bring in another contractor?

P.S. Swindon Centric spotted the current owner of the Mechanics' Institute, standing on the corner of Emlyn Square and London Street a few days ago, pensively listening on his phone. Seems that the time for talking is over.

Final Front Page For Swindon's 'Pravda' Paper?

The monthly, local publication that you pay Swindon Borough Council to produce, have you recently read a copy?

Central government isn't a fan of local council-produced newspapers, including our own Swindon News.

Eric Pickles (Local Government Secretary) isn't keen on "town hall Pravdas" pretending they're real, independent newspapers.

Swindon Centric hasn't received a copy of Swindon News for over a year and doubts a majority of residents know of it's existence. The current issue and previous ones are available as pdf files and provide an interesting record of what's in the council's 'to do' list, month-to-month.

Swindon Centric Says ; The name Pravdas has been applied to the Swindon Advertiser by some at Talk Swindon, it appears the name, for all different publications, is back in favour!

Leaked : Swindon's Budget Rapidly Losing Height

A letter leaked to the TalkSwindon Lamplighters Leakline has shown that Swindon Borough Council's Gavin Jones (Chief Executive Officer) is to announce a
emergency'mid year' budget in October.

Swindon Centric Says ; Swindon Borough Council, as led by the Conservatives, is seriously holed below the waterline. How long before advice to load lifeboats and leave is officially given, or will the Captain stubbornly refuse and go down with the ship?

Swindon Becomes A Rotten Borough

If someone can photoshop Tony Blair's head for that of the Swindon Borough Council leader, this cover would be spot on for our town.

The appearance of Swindon's wi-fi deal in the Rotten Borough Column of Private Eye has been acknowledged by many, but unsurprisingly, has entirely escaped the pages of the Swindon Advertiser.

It might be because the Private Eye story summarises the main points of the deal with more facts in one story than the Adver have included in the many puffy column-inches they've written since November last year.

Swindon Centric is hoping Private Eye will be keeping tabs on how the wi-fi ends and reports accordingly.

Swindon Centric Says ; With £400,000 of the £450,000 now taken by Digital City, where's our money gone and where's our wi-fi?

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 157

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He waved his hand and that was it.

9. I've got four more 2's to do.

8. Sublime, professional, but an arsehole.

7. When he retires he'll be saved for the nation.

6. She buys everything on the Jewellery Channel.

5. Their bananas looked manky, so I didn't get any.

4. Unmarked, at the spot, midnight.

3. He's got a face like Blofeld without makeup.

2. Don't expect mercy, it's a political decision.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Don't worry, I'm in charge of this Rotten Borough.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Council Bus Bingo Service Cuts... Grab Your Dabber

901 The Copse/Groundwell Park & Ride.
12 Priory Vale Express.

54 West Swindon routing.

1 Covingham and Eldene (renamed number 2, reduced frequency)

Will the buses below soon be added to the above list of withdrawals and cutbacks of buses in Swindon?

15 23 V bus 73 74 75

Swindon's recent record on buses isn't a happy one. A combination of house builders support money coming to an end, and a £100,000 cutback in the Swindon Borough council transport budget for subsidies will see the above services severely effected.

Any resemblance to a coherent public transport policy hasn't been the case for a while now. With reelected councillors pontificating on bus cuts, but without knowledge of the industry, or the laws shaping it, knowledge is thin on the ground bus-wise in the Council. It appears the ruling party have yet to get over the very 80s and 90s habit of pandering to motorists for votes.

Swindon Centric Says ; Perhaps Swindon/Wiltshire should launch it's own Passenger Transport Executive, but fill the board with a majority of passengers (each of different demographics, students, OAPs, workers, etc), Thamesdown Transport, Stagecoach in Swindon, First Great Western and a highly knowledgeable transport officer from Swindon Borough Council. But not a councillor in sight.

PS Swindon Centric understands that Thamesdown are planning on releasing a summary leaflet of the changes soon, with the new timetable and greater details from the 1st of July, with the changes being implemented from Sunday 25th of July.

Car Compassionate Conservatives (With a Large C)

Fairness and equality were given a good kicking last week, transport-wise.

A town-centre car parking charges cut was announced (and passed), followed by transport budget cuts to several bus services.

The cherry on top of the cake is that the deal-breaker for the Union Square redevelopment deal with MUSE seems to hinge on the council spending £11 million to buy a to-be-built car park on the site, which for MUSE makes the scheme viable.

So in summary,

the council is cutting car parking charges in the town centre, to get more people in...

... at the same time cutting bus services, so those without cars can't reach said town centre or other places...

... and is being held-hostage by the only developer interested in the last-surviving town centre regeneration scheme, to operate a car park, at a cost of £11 million to Swindon Borough Council, which will take maybe a decade to recoup the money.

While the same report said the council need to reduce their car-parking capacity to save money.

Swindon Centric Says ; Maybe some enterprising council wonk will come up with an idea for Thamesdown and V Bus to park all their surplus-to-requirements vehicles in the empty car park spaces? Charging them for it, or course.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 156

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There's a soul in there, somewhere.

9. Sunny, but overcast most of the day, how is that an accurate forecast?

8. This one will go entirely, whilst the 15 will be heavily cut back.

7. But if you park, the council care more about you.

6. I hope they don't cut money for the essential things, like orange stickers on taxis and fountain cleaning.

5. The best person to play Tony Hayward in a film of the disaster is Michael Sheen.

4. Google it if you want, but you'll still be wrong.

3. I could never convincingly be interested in football.

2. I'm investing in a crepemaker, I plan on using it every day.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Move away from the window, if you're that close you'll start licking it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 155

Have you seen the view from the top?

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Is this real?

9. We're going to get him back.

8. There's a very small chance that I've been lying all along.

7. Prices have been slashed, along with our fiscal future.

6. The guy with the leaflets got on at the same time as last week and he really unsettles me.

5. We're having fish for dinner and no potatoes or I'll heave.

4. Tom likes poetry and is quite proud about it.

3. I will be living mainly between the two places.

2. There are themes I wish to cover and one of them is superficially erotic.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He sounds like he's either in a bowling alley or the kitchen.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 154

Clearly Thames Water's flood relief programme still had some way to go in Haydon Wick.

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Eyes front, Mister!

9. It's coming in exactly 11 seconds.

8. There's hurricanes, rains and sunshine heading for us.

7. He really is lost.

6. They need to save several millions, but they've just bought land for a carpark?

5. The guy needs a bite of a reality sandwich.

4. Bahrain, Singapore and Coleview are all on my list.

3. She's got no idea that I can't dance.

2. Not there, there!

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He got a spare, which added up to several extra points at the end.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

5 Years of 50 Promises - Style & Substance

The local council elections gave the ruling Conservatives the opportunity to carry out a cabinet reshuffle, giving Councillor Dale Heenan (Conservative, Covingham & Nythe) responsibility for Policy & Performance, including assessment of the 50 Promises made back in 2005.

A look back at them has been made on TalkSwindon, so I won't repeat that here. Reading of the 'official' review of them will be fascinating indeed. A look back at them from 2005 shows how the 'appearance is everything' era of the Swindon Conservatives started. Now we're use to the presidential-style rule of Councillor Rod Bluh (Dorcan) and how the appearance of doing something is more important than actually doing something, the 'all fur coat and no knickers' syndrome.

The appearance of signs on hoardings at the Central Library during construction work, or the old Railway Museum whilst refurbishment took place and no-doubt many other places, with the relevant promise emblazoned, e.g. 'Promise 26 We will have a new Central Library by 2008' was to remind us that the council were getting good work done.

Certainly PR, but patronising all the same. In the fog of this PR it is easy to lose the attributes of which promises were the council being effective and which were part of national programmes or prevously planned schemes.

This era of taking credit for national schemes (school rebuilding) or local plans set in motion before the 50 Promises was conceived (Lydiard Park restoration) continues to this day, as anyone who may have received local councillor leaflets in the last election will find if they unwind the language used.

Swindon Centric Says ; Will the wi-fi scheme sit in the new 50 promises list, and be emblazoned on leaflets at the next election?

Re-elect your local councillor, he got you a new school (out of his hands, part of a national government project), rebuilt your favourite park (instigated by the park's management and paid for by Heritage Lottery Funds) and put in place traffic calming (planned by the traffic management department, who are, you know, do it for a living), so re- elect him! For all that achievement in your ward, by others.

Is the Living Wall Dead On Arrival?

A big and flashy part of the Canal Walk redevelopment was the Living Wall on the bridge between the Brunel Centre and Brunel Arcade.

So where is it?

The Canal Walk project has been touted as finished and work has now moved on to Regent Street. So what happened to the wall?

Swindon Centric Says : Considering that root and branch reform of the New Swindon Company/Forward Swindon has been a rolling wish by many for a while, it's not surprising that a part of the 'vibrant' vision has been lost in the long grass.

A Wi-Fi Bolt-On

Digital City has agreed with local house builder Bower Mapson to bundle the Home User package for free, when you purchase one of their houses. This was reported in a 'news in brief' column from the Swindon Advertiser on Wednesday 19th of May, but isn't able to be sourced online from either Digital City, or Bower Mapson.

Maybe their wi-fi signal is patchy?

Swindon Centric Says ; If you're planning on spending £200,000 on a new pad, maybe a saving of £9.99 a month for a year will just swing the deal.

Top Ten Things Heard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 153

Click here for the original and still the best at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He's acting like a man possessed.

9. Get out before the whole place becomes smellier than a fishmonger's armpit.

8. It was funny at the time, but it's now very serious.

7. They can make more money out of those more damaging things than the usual, above-board things.

6. He threw up everywhere, I actually saw it.

5. Come and have a look at it, it's a sight to see.

4. Flapjacks all over the floor.

3. Sandra needs to know the answer before she goes off for her fake tan.

2. I was outside and realised I was bleeding.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. His glasses make him look like a pelican.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.